The Subsonic Band (Standing, L-R) Arvin (rhythm), Vida (vox), Duke (bass); (Sitting, L-R) Raymond (vox), Criz (drums), me (keyboard); Edmund (lead guitar) - overtime sa work... kaya di nagpakita.

I had reunion with my band way back in highschool/college days tonight at UCC Tomas Morato. Reminiscing the good old days.

Dreams closing in.
His mind aches endlessly thinking of her;
His heart breaks knowing she is beyond his reach

Waiting.
Dreams closing in,
Penetrating his weary soul

Soon he falls into slumber,
Hoping another Day grants him fair love.

Purchased this book this afternoon. Have read a handful of pages, was interesting so I got it. Talks about Filipino cultures and values. Witty and unapologetically correct.

Our DSL has just been restored. Praise the Lord! :D

Yesterday I went to Makati to deliver some goods to client. On the way to Glorietta, my car was stopped by a Makati police. My car is coded yesterday. But I thought I can take it out from 10AM-3PM as in Manila rules. But I just learned that it's different in Makati. I thought how come I wasn't caught one time when I took it on a Tuesday to school? Anyway to add insult to the injury, the officer found out that my license has already expired just day before. Arrgh.. this is not a good day I thought. I was so tempted to give him a bribe because he was making subtle hints for me saying, "Ano isusulat ko na ito (sa ticket)?" Partly it disgusts me that we have such kind of police. But thank God he spared me of guilt and misery if I bribed. So there goes the license. Will pick it up in 5 days in Makati City Hall.

Parked the car. Went to CDR-King to buy CD's and cases. Client needs 20 copies of the multimedia CD I made. So I made Starbucks my temporary office to work on the CD's. After finishing I met Erene and Jo to watch Corpse Bride. I liked the movie. Dark. So rooting for Corpse Bride. After movie delivered the stuff to client in Walter Mart and had dinner. Took Jo back to school where her car is parked. Went home very tired but managed to still chat on dial-up. I slept while chatting. Sorry... Gonna miss you Jo. She's going to Hongkong & Thailand and Bataan for two weeks. I'll see her probably in 2nd sem.

I just learned that I'm going to Samal Island, the island garden or garden island, in Davao for Chi Alpha retreat. So pumped.

Feeling bossa-senti tonight...

Girl from Ipanema
Antonio Carlos Jobim

+ Tall and tan and young and lovely | The girl from Ipanema goes walking | And when she passes | each one she passes goes, "Ah!"

+ When she walks she's like a samba that | Swings so cool and sways so gentle | That when she passes | each one she passes goes, "Ah!"

+ Oh, but I watch her so sadly | How can I tell her I love her? | Yes, I would give my heart gladly | But each day when she walks to the sea | She looks straight ahead not at me

+ Tall and tan and young and lovely | The girl from Ipanema goes walking | And when she passes | I smile, but she doesn't see | She just doesn't see | No she doesn't see


Love Is The Saddest Thing
Ella Fitzgerald

+ Once, once I loved | And I gave so much love to this love | You were the world to me | Once I cried | At the thought I was foolish and proud and let you say goodbye

+ And then one day | From my infinite sadness you came and brought me love again | Now I know | That no matter whatever befalls I'll never let you go | I will hold you close, make you stay | Because love is the saddest thing when it goes away | Love is the saddest thing when it goes away

Been offline lately because DSL is down. Arrggh. Using an internet card dial-up. Life is simple today :) Came home at 11PM. Boys went to Starbucks Binondo after visiting a youth's mother. Had cellgroup in the afternoon, everyone seem to have burdens in their heart. Thank God even if I don't have psychiatric abilities I could lift them up in prayer. Life is good.


Thursday. Christmas is early at church. I already put up the Christmas tree. I like assembling the Christmas tree, gives me the holiday spirit. Beside is a huge box where the church puts in food donations to give away on Christmas.


Thursday. In the evening after drum lesson was our leadership meeting. We had a break from meeting. It was the celebration of the birthday of our pastor's wife. We had shabu-shabu/hotpot.


Friday. Traffic at Quirino Ave. I came in very late at Student Fellowship, an hour before 5PM. So dead. But it was a conincidence that Lorenzo Academy was having novena because of the Binondo fiesta. And students are required to attend novena. So there were less than 10 students who came. We managed to handle them all.


Wednesday. Splurging on food with Jo & Love. Made aimless wanderings in Makati after. It's good that I returned to schoo from client meeting to see Jo practice with her band. It was the last day I would see her before next semester.

Here at school, my sembreak has officially begun. I just submitted my paper to my professors. This morning woke up 12NN because I slept 4AM to finish the paper. I missed a client meeting. Will go to meet client in an hour. I still do not know how I will spend my hard earned semestral break. It's more than a month. First three weeks are still free. I'm preaching on the third Sunday. Davao in the fourth week and Banawe after... I heard there is a 9 day holiday week of Oct-Nov. That would be great. I really want to return to Banawe and try new things.

Now I'm bored. There's nothing to do. Just letting time pass before I leave for the meeting. School is a bitter-sweet environment. These are the idle times when you are not doing anything that you begin to think, "Where is my life headed?" "What's in store for me, God?"

Hosea readings

Thanks for the encouragement of those who read my previous blog. Forgive me for being open. Just thinking aloud... I am becoming impulsive that somtimes a little change in the routine causes me to panic. All is good.

Today had Carecell at 4:30. I was worried I'd come late because of the traffic in north harbor. But somehow I manage to come 15 minutes early. And to my surprise nobody's in except Justine. I felt really bad. Where had all the youth gone? (After 15 minutes or more... they started to come in though. But usually they are already in when I come.)

Then I began to question my way of leadership, again. Since the Book of Hope event, I hadn't been able to keep up with the rise of youth population and responsibilities. I haven't been able to monitor the staff regularly because of our different schedules. The ministry is like a very crazy disorganized cluttered room. And I'm used to order, schedules and planning. I have this Superman attitude to save the world, but I can't seem to rally people to 'do what I do,' or do I? Perhaps I just wanted someone to feel my burden. I wanted a twin. Ramblings in my mind...

I'm thinking if my leadership is still working. Somehow think I tend to repel some people away from me. I read something from John Maxwell, about Charisma, one of the 17 leadership qualities. A leader without charisma after talking to a person, makes the person think how good that leader is. A leader with charisma after talking to a person, makes the person feel good about themselves. I think I'm the first one. I lack the 'charisma'. I heard in another preaching and take it as a true statement, that me as a leader should encourage a person to wanna strive to become who God wants him to be, not to lay out all the 'truth' that one would feel he would not measure up to become what God wants him to be. Perhaps I'm too hard on myself. But if this is true with me, I would change my style, but I feel I won't be true to myself. I don't even know how to change it in the first place. You'd never know how much I would like to become beneficial for everyone. But I figured you cannot please everybody.

And what's with everyone not texting me directly if they can't make it to an activity. I guess they are just tired of seeing me get frustrated. I think they think they couldn't measure up. I want mavericks not people who would just say yes to me just because they don't wanna get me disappointed.

Just random thoughts...

Lord, please give me extra grace for the times I fail you, even now... You know me. You know my weaknesses and my potential to become the best I can be. Melt me so You can mold me to become someone You want me to become. I want to be what You want me to be. I know this is the road You want me to take. Lord, I need Your peace and presence.