Cool Change

by Little River Band

If there's one thing in my life that's missing | It's the time I spend alone | Sailing on the cool and bright clear waters

There's lots of those friendly people | Showin me ways to go | And I never want to lose your inspiration

[+] Time for a cool change | I know that it's time for a cool change | Now that my life is so pre-arranged | I know that it's time for a cool change

Well I was born in the sign of water | And it's there that I feel my best | The albatross and the whales they are my brothers

It's kind of a special feeling | When you're out on the sea alone | Starin' at the full moon like a lover

Well I've never been romantic | And sometimes I don't care | I know it may sound selfish | But let me breathe the air

A make-shift studio at church. These are people who keep me pursuing the cause for which Christ has died for. Go Firebrands!

I felt discouraged last night about our band practice. For the nth time there was again conflict between our band members and the sound tech (even if I already preached on conflict management last time!) I felt there was injustice. It left a band member hopelessly crying. I came to church prepared and light-hearted, I was the prayer meeting leader. And all members even were part of the prayer meeting, then for a short-span of time, they just placed everything on the garbage. What an insult to the Spirit of God. Shame. It's like we're living on the flesh and ignoring the spiritual essenses of being a body of Christ. I left with a headache. Good thing the pastor's wife was there to soften the tension. But she too was very concerned.

There seems no hope for our church. Only Christ's love and presence will change all this. It was like the Spirit was lifted off our church. Everything's a routine, mediocrity, and going about the motions. Going home I thought, what's the use of a church who doesn't produce souls for already such a long time? We are just spending money, time, energy maintaining people so that they won't leave the church. What's the use of a church who doesn't fulfill it's three-fold Commission? Really. These are the times that I would just want out. Too bad the reason why I'm so affected because I love this church so much.

Today I had to refuse my speaking engagement in another youth group next week. It was a hard call. But I need to attend to our youth. For sometime now we have inconsistent meetings due to outside activities and the storm.

Lord, I'm getting losing hope. Change our hearts and let us be searing-hot passionate for you.

Cease striving and know that I am God.

Please pray with me as there are opportunities for me to go out Singapore for the Carecell Conference in Trinity Christian Church and Indonesia for the Asia Pacific Youth Conference. For the future.

Idasal Mo

by Pinikpikan

Walang hanggan ang lakbay ng diwa
'Wag mo na lang piliting alamin pa
Tama na ang nakaapak sa lupa
Isipan mo naman ang syang gagala

May gagawin pa tayo sa mundo
Pagmamahal ang sasagip sayo
At kung sapat na ang pag-ibig
Ang mundo'y lilipad kasama tayo

At makiramdam sa paglalakbay, ingat lang
Sakaling ikaw ay maligaw ay banggitin mo Siya

Idasal mo idasal
Buhayin ang pagmamahal
Idasal mo idasal
Buhayin ang pagmamahal

I've been reading this fabulous book by Steve Farrar entitled "Finishing Strong." Finishing Strong is an easy read. Farrar is like a father instructing his son about life. Incidentally "finishing strong" is such a big word in our church community life. Finishing strong meant to finish this life victoriously, not missing the target. It doesn't matter how you start the race.. as long as you finish STRONG. I've realized that I am far from being exempted from falling away. It lingers around like a predator waiting for his prey's sign of weakness. My prayer for sometime is "Lord, please, let me finish strong. I want to finish strong."

I wrote in a pad last week...

"I'm sitting at a restaurant bar looking across a pool of tables. People eating, coversing. Some eating by themselves. As I observe I ask myself, "What could be going on her mind? Is she aware of her aloneness? Is she happy, contented?"

Why do people travel great lengths just be alone? Could it be pursuit of peace? Could it be that in doing so she would finally find her center, her being? Away from the prying eyes and hallow conversations. Perhaps life for her is just passing, where at one time you are here but tomorrow you go and hardly anyone notices?

Indeed life would be much bearable with someone to journey with.

Driving along a dark alley on my way home I was halted by a police car and realized I was driving on a one-way street. The cop came and took my license. Came back informing me that I would be fined P2000 for one-way traffic violation. I pleaded for a second-chance. He asked me where I came from. I came from school. Where? In the seminary. You go a seminary? Are you studying to be a priest? Sort-of. Then he checked out my books and stuff from the passenger seat to confirm I was a seminary student. I was. He asked for an ID. Then he said he'll let me go just this time.

I pondered a bit what just happened. What made the cop let go of me when he learned I'm a seminary student? Was it because he's earning pogi-points from God by being extra-lenient to people like me? Or would God tolerate my violation by giving me an escape? Whatever the answer is, I'm just glad he let me go.

Today I went early to school. I'm playing in chapel service. After chapel, went with Emmanuel to eat. Felt sleepy after so I slept in the car until 4:30PM. An hour after it was time for Hebrew class.

Just got home. Quite tired. I came from school. Today was our Drama Festival for Gospel and Acts subject. I felt I wasn't able to contribute because I avoided an acting part instead I volunteered as technical and props person. I sucked at doing both. We were only composed of 7 people. Seconds before the curtains opened my computer hanged from the connection of the LCD, scratching the video and powerpoint intros that I made - it wasn't shown, plus the people were like mocking a steady blue light. I just ended up playing impromtu stage music and closing song. In retrospect, I believe our entry is still competitive, but its my contribution that I'm ranting about. I know some of my groupmates were pissed at me because I wasn't fulfilling my roles so I apologized to them after. I'm just thankful that it is over.

I'm not really good in acting. I don't like being involved in one. But once in a while like pushes me over its fence. I remember in highschool playing Shakespeare but received negative results though I gave it my best. It was just there were people better than me. I acknowledge that. Drama projects at OT class were another thing I don't like, but have to do it for the grade. I know it's just isn't my element. Just let me play in a band or something or plan an event.

Finally I was able to get rest today. I was able to spend a good devotional time. I sought Him, even though it was hard to get back at first. But after my devotional time... God really speaks in different ways.. It's amazing. While I was watching a feature about ASEAN bio-diversity, He pointed me to a peculiar creature of the sea... a nudibranch - or sea slug. These small colorful creatures are related to the snails and inhabit the coral reefs. Then I thought how God took time and energy and such creativity to create these astounding creatures. I remembered how Jesus tells us that God cares for His creatures,

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father... So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows (Matthew 10:29-31).

There was God's love right there. I was watching this documentary and I was teary-eyed. I could imagine how God's inifinite greatness created these creature, how much more he created someone in His likeness, in His image, given us a portion of His being. He loved me.

I am finally relaxing. Haven't blogged for a while because since last week I was bombarded with lots of stuff to do. It happened that my freelance work, school, campus ministry and other responsbilities conspired to demand high-priority tasks due that week. By the end of the week I was officially burned-out. But still I really thank God for HIS GRACE that brought me through. Without that, I would have already broken down. To Him be all the glory and the praises. Some highlights of my week:

• Chi-Alpha Universidad de Manila launching last Thursday. There were around 20 plus students from UDM who came. We had games, food.. I also shared the message. Next week it's PUP's turn to launch their Chi-Alpha.
  
• ASCM Concert last Friday, I was in-charge of visual and media. Because of this and another design due, I was out of sleep Friday. But the concert turned out awesome!
  
• Youth Leadership Conference of Section 2 last Saturday.

I'm planning of enjoying my day tomorrow big time. I've been also experiencing some back pains from sitting in front of the computer for a long time. Please do pray for me.