I'm here today at the my office. Most of the technical crew is out ... I mean ALL of the production team is out because they are doing week-long shoot of our latest video. Me, I'm stuck here, since I work in the web department, which is fine with me.
There are a lot of things that had been going on lately. Specially now that we are in this transition of moving out of our church to do campus missions. There are times that I feel stressed but if not for God's mercy and grace I would be found by the dumpster by now. Stressed because of relationships. Parting and new. I have realized I am not good at goodbyes. Though I thought before that I am. Until now I haven't said my piece to the people ought to hear it.
Is it safe to say that I am wobbly and fearful of moving forward? Many thoughts come into my mind. Am I doing the right thing? I have to do this. I am pressured when people around me expect that I have to know everything. I don't. I'm just as much as a pilgrim as you are. I am in this journey. It has ups and downs. But one thing I strive for, that is to finish strong. And the thought of finishing strong seems far out of reach. Every step or mistep might snap the cord that holds me together. But I must do this. It's time to move on.
What keeps me going on? My family, my calling, and the Lord. The Lord. Lord there are times that I feel distant from You. But I know You are still there watching and waiting for me to return. There are times that I think I have truly messed up some things. But I take hold on this character of Yours that is always able to untangle the deepest mess people get into. "When you are tempted, [God] provides." "You provide a way out." Thank You Jesus.
I am an inch closer to how Solomon felt when he wrote Ecclesiastes. Everything is meaningless. But I have to fight it, especially in these times when friends are scarce. "The poor will always be there." Service does not end. What's important is by the end, my duty to the Lord has been fulfilled. Lord, purge me with Your hottest fire. Destroy the strongholds that war against my soul. In this valleys may You alone O God be glorified.
He makes all things beautiful ...
The Mind of the Melancholeric Man: Musings on Life and Ministry by Patrick Tan
New Things
I have called you in righteousness. I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles ... to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison, and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness. I am the Lord, that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols. See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare. Before they spring into being I announce them to you. (Isaiah 42:6-9)
May it come ever so quickly Lord.
May it come ever so quickly Lord.
After more than 30 days ...
Wow. I haven't blogged for almost a month! There are a lot of things that had happend while I was gone (in this blog). Here are some highlights:
I continue to work in APMedia during weekdays. These past few days had been very toxic because of the flow of work, but it's good. I enjoy it. Our boss will be going on furlough and they will be returning on January 2011 so they're like wrapping up everything before they leave.
We are transitioning to move from our home church to work as campus workers in Life Source Chi Alpha in university belt.
Netty and I started staying in Makati during weekdays because of the the toll it takes for us to travel from Caloocan to Makati when we go to work.
Netty will be studying ortho in August and praise God for this provision.
I on the other hand hopefully will be going to BUDAPEST, if the Lord wills (and I want to) for a week-long World Student Conference.
Despite the ups and downs of life. I've learned once more that there is one thing that is constant--Jesus. Praise God for His covenant love and faithfulness to us.
The Things We Do
One treads on dangerous grounds when one do not keep in check his heart's desires. Truly as the Lord has said that our hearts are deceitful and from it comes the evils of man. Therefore it is of first importance that we keep ourselves in check if we are living in outward religiosity that our Lord calls hypocrisy, instead of living in authentic intimacy with Him. Such happening can go undetected only to ambush us when we find spirits shriveled, then we realize we have been severed from the Vine. For example, do I go to church to see the beauty of His holiness, or do I "attend" church because it's the way that has been time immemorial? May it be that truly, in everything we do, whether we eat or drink, or open our lips in prayer, or lift our hands in worship, or speak with words of grace, that we do it not for the approval of the perishable, but for the glory of the Imperishable.
Reading: Mark 7:1-23
Reading: Mark 7:1-23
I Want to Know You More
My spirit desires to know You more. And it is when I draw near into Your presence that I recognize this knowing-ness of you. Not to know You is then must be when I am not in Your presence, knowingly or unknowingly, out of tune from the rhythm of Your symphony. It is when I am away from You that I fail to love the unlovable. For it is when I am intimately aware of You--Your grace poured and blood shed, living and walking in the Spirit, that I can bestow grace to man undeserving grace as myself. Lord, teach me, therefore, to live in Your Spirit.
"For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything, but faith working through love ... Walk in the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh ... If you are lead by the Spirit, you are not under the Law ... And the fruit of the Spirit is love ..." (Galatians 5)
"For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything, but faith working through love ... Walk in the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh ... If you are lead by the Spirit, you are not under the Law ... And the fruit of the Spirit is love ..." (Galatians 5)
Why God is precisely God
God is precisely God in that he can do what humanity cannot do: he can allow himself to be rejected, he can be made low and of no consequence--without, however, like humanity, being plunged into an inferiority complex, which shows that humanity with all its heart wants to be great. - Eduard Schweizer, New Testament scholar
(Taken from James Edwards' The Divine Intruder)
(Taken from James Edwards' The Divine Intruder)
Where God Wants to Be
by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
where human nature rebels,
where our piety keeps a nervous distance:
there, precisely there, God loves to be;
there he baffles the wisdom of the wise;
there he vexes our nature, our religious instincts.
There he wants to be, and no one can prevent him.
Only the humble believe him and rejoice
that God is so free and grand,
that he works wonders where man loses, heart,
that he makes splendid what is slight and lowly.
Indeed, this is the wonder of wonders,
that God loves the lowly.
'God has regarded the low estate of his handmaiden.'
God in lowliness--
that is the revolutionary, the passionate word of Advent.
(Taken from James Edwards' The Divine Intruder)
(Taken from James Edwards' The Divine Intruder)
Excitement Killer
Today my family was supposed to go to Antipolo for our church's annual retreat. Woke up early despite sleeping in late from last night's revival service. The food for lunch was also ready thanks to Ma. And as our car moved out of our garage, only a few meters away from our house it stops. My dad was puzzled. No matter how he starts the engine, it sounded like it was missing something which later we would learn that it was the "something" belt that was needed for the car to run. It was not long that people in the neighborhood took notice of us and gathered to see what the problem was. Thank God because there was a mechanic in the neighborhood. So my brother and I with the help of other guys in the neighborhood, pushed the car back to our garage.
Do you know the feeling of anticipating for something then suddenly it doesn't happen? All of us I think felt that. For me I was already longing for swimming in a pool. It's already playing and replaying in my mind, then suddenly it won't happen anymore. It sucks.
But I believe the Lord had purposes beyond what our eyes can see. So we spent the rest of the day in rest. Netty and I went back to bed until lunch time. And I continued to sleep through the afternoon. And now I'm wide awake. Restless because of the ministry stuff I'm reading off the Internet. I get restless thinking of ministry. I believe it's what you call passion. But I might sleep any time soon, because tomorrow Netty and I will be going to Makati to visit her parents.
Do you know the feeling of anticipating for something then suddenly it doesn't happen? All of us I think felt that. For me I was already longing for swimming in a pool. It's already playing and replaying in my mind, then suddenly it won't happen anymore. It sucks.
But I believe the Lord had purposes beyond what our eyes can see. So we spent the rest of the day in rest. Netty and I went back to bed until lunch time. And I continued to sleep through the afternoon. And now I'm wide awake. Restless because of the ministry stuff I'm reading off the Internet. I get restless thinking of ministry. I believe it's what you call passion. But I might sleep any time soon, because tomorrow Netty and I will be going to Makati to visit her parents.
Wasted For Jesus
(Article form of the message I preached yesterday at our revival service)
Acts 20:24, "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of grace."
Paul was a man of passion. As a Pharisee, Paul persecuted the Christians. But that fateful encounter and Acts 9 would radically change his life. He became an apostle of the One whom he was persecuting. As an apostle, he did even more. He became the catalyst for missions and authored the most number of books or letters in our Bible today. Considering Paul didn't walk with Jesus during His life here on earth, it seemed that Paul did more than the other disciples. But more than being a man of passion, I believe that Paul was a man of commitment.
Many of us seek passion. Passion to be rekindled only to be snuffed away once more, driving us to look and seek elsewhere for a higher level of emotional high. Passion is emotion, but commitment is of the will. There will be times when passion will be hard to find, but commitment is the irreducible minimum of our journey with Christ. Passion is not at all bad when driven at the right channels like a river flowing steadily within the banks of commitment. Commitment and passion, therefore, must go hand-in-hand. Passion without commitment doesn't bear much fruit, but commitment that is fueled by passion is can advance a cause.
Paul talks about two things all people possess. First is that every person in the world has a race to run. Our race is marked by a series of tests and obstacles. Like a race track with hurdles in them, we must overcome these hurdles in our life to win the race. Our race will be marked by victories, big or small, as well as tests, trials, tribulations and tragedies.
The second thing all people possess is that every person in the world has a task--our life's purpose. Everyone has a purpose to discover and fulfill to make a contribution in the world. It gives meaning to our existence as opposed to just being someone who just took up space and was gone without a trace. Not all people fulfill their purpose in life. Not all people finish their race.
That is why Paul has put his eyes toward just one goal: to overcome. "Only if I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me." Because for Paul, this life is not all that there is. In fact our life today is a preparation for our life set in eternity. Therefore our choices today dictates how we spend our eternities. Do we anticipate a welcome saying, "Well done, my good and faithful servant"? or "Away from me, for I do not know you"?
For Paul finishing the race and completing the task begins when we "consider our life worth nothing" to us. Time and time again the Bible speaks of finding life in losing it. Consider the following declarations of Jesus himself:
"If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." (Mark 9:35)
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." (Mark 16:25)
"No one who has left home or brothers or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in the present age... and in the age to come, eternal life ..." (Mark 10:29-31)
Such radical imperatives. But what's amazing with Jesus is that when he asks us to do something, it is not something that he hasn't done himself. Truly he is the model leader we all strive and should strive to become. What we strive for is all but a reflection of what He himself did on the cross:
"Think of yourselves the way Christ thought of himself ... he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! ... It was incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death--and the worst kind of death at that--a crucifixion." (Philippians 2:5-8, Msg)
His life, death and resurrection is the story of God's love, passion and commitment "to seek and save that which was lost." In a desperate need for reconciliation God sent His only Son, born in a manger, lived in the flesh among us. He proclaimed freedom to the captives, brought healing to the sick. And for that he was accused for a crime he did not do, ridiculed and struck, tortured and shamed. His ultimate sacrifice will lead him to bear the cross and die on it. What the world perceive as a sign of weakness, God sees as strength. Because by giving His life up He gained even more--He conquered the reign of sin and death, and on the third day Jesus rose a victor!
"Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow ... and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." (Philippians 2:9-11)
Because Jesus chose to finish the task by giving Himself up, grace was released to us even when we don't deserve it.
And in order to finish life's race, we must experience God's grace. God's grace is able to "build [us] up" and "give [us] inheritance of among all those who are sanctified"--salvation and the blessed hope. Many times we struggle in life to earn something and make ourselves worth something. But receiving grace is an act of humility, because we will never earn it. Some in their pride will reject grace, but our default response to grace given is to receive it wholeheartedly. Receiving something we do not deserve, who wouldn't be gratious and more in love with such a God. "Do we not know that God's kindness leads us to repentance?"
This grace, abounding and amazing, is the heart of the gospel the Lord Jesus has entrusted to the apostle Paul and to every believer who bears Christ's name. "If only I may ... complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of grace." Each of us is given a common task, Paul calls it our "ministry of reconciliation". Carl Henry says, "The Gospel is only good news if it only gets there on time." You don't even have to cross your countries borders to see the need to reach the lost for Christ. Every day violence, suffering, death, broken relationships and injustice continue to advance its ranks in our schools, offices and our families. "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" (Isaiah 6:8). The Lord Almighty is calling out to anyone who can muster up the courage to respond.
Our commitment to the task at hand begins when we become so passionate in love with Jesus we cannot contain the joy and peace in His presence. Our passion for Jesus begins when we experience His grace.
God can and is delighted to meet us where we are, whoever we are. Are we constantly living under the scrutiny of guilt and judgment? Allow Him to render you His grace. Are we struggling to finish the race He has marked out for us? Allow Him to renew your strength as you "wait upon the Lord." Are you falling short to muster up the courage to advance the cause of the gospel in your sphere of influence? Allow Him to empower you as He is the Father who does not withhold and gives good gifts to His children. It is when we let go of our lives and once more enter in the inner room where God's presence dwells that we will be able "to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given us."
Acts 20:24, "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of grace."
Paul was a man of passion. As a Pharisee, Paul persecuted the Christians. But that fateful encounter and Acts 9 would radically change his life. He became an apostle of the One whom he was persecuting. As an apostle, he did even more. He became the catalyst for missions and authored the most number of books or letters in our Bible today. Considering Paul didn't walk with Jesus during His life here on earth, it seemed that Paul did more than the other disciples. But more than being a man of passion, I believe that Paul was a man of commitment.
Many of us seek passion. Passion to be rekindled only to be snuffed away once more, driving us to look and seek elsewhere for a higher level of emotional high. Passion is emotion, but commitment is of the will. There will be times when passion will be hard to find, but commitment is the irreducible minimum of our journey with Christ. Passion is not at all bad when driven at the right channels like a river flowing steadily within the banks of commitment. Commitment and passion, therefore, must go hand-in-hand. Passion without commitment doesn't bear much fruit, but commitment that is fueled by passion is can advance a cause.
Paul talks about two things all people possess. First is that every person in the world has a race to run. Our race is marked by a series of tests and obstacles. Like a race track with hurdles in them, we must overcome these hurdles in our life to win the race. Our race will be marked by victories, big or small, as well as tests, trials, tribulations and tragedies.
The second thing all people possess is that every person in the world has a task--our life's purpose. Everyone has a purpose to discover and fulfill to make a contribution in the world. It gives meaning to our existence as opposed to just being someone who just took up space and was gone without a trace. Not all people fulfill their purpose in life. Not all people finish their race.
That is why Paul has put his eyes toward just one goal: to overcome. "Only if I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me." Because for Paul, this life is not all that there is. In fact our life today is a preparation for our life set in eternity. Therefore our choices today dictates how we spend our eternities. Do we anticipate a welcome saying, "Well done, my good and faithful servant"? or "Away from me, for I do not know you"?
For Paul finishing the race and completing the task begins when we "consider our life worth nothing" to us. Time and time again the Bible speaks of finding life in losing it. Consider the following declarations of Jesus himself:
"If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." (Mark 9:35)
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." (Mark 16:25)
"No one who has left home or brothers or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in the present age... and in the age to come, eternal life ..." (Mark 10:29-31)
Such radical imperatives. But what's amazing with Jesus is that when he asks us to do something, it is not something that he hasn't done himself. Truly he is the model leader we all strive and should strive to become. What we strive for is all but a reflection of what He himself did on the cross:
"Think of yourselves the way Christ thought of himself ... he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! ... It was incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death--and the worst kind of death at that--a crucifixion." (Philippians 2:5-8, Msg)
His life, death and resurrection is the story of God's love, passion and commitment "to seek and save that which was lost." In a desperate need for reconciliation God sent His only Son, born in a manger, lived in the flesh among us. He proclaimed freedom to the captives, brought healing to the sick. And for that he was accused for a crime he did not do, ridiculed and struck, tortured and shamed. His ultimate sacrifice will lead him to bear the cross and die on it. What the world perceive as a sign of weakness, God sees as strength. Because by giving His life up He gained even more--He conquered the reign of sin and death, and on the third day Jesus rose a victor!
"Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow ... and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." (Philippians 2:9-11)
Because Jesus chose to finish the task by giving Himself up, grace was released to us even when we don't deserve it.
And in order to finish life's race, we must experience God's grace. God's grace is able to "build [us] up" and "give [us] inheritance of among all those who are sanctified"--salvation and the blessed hope. Many times we struggle in life to earn something and make ourselves worth something. But receiving grace is an act of humility, because we will never earn it. Some in their pride will reject grace, but our default response to grace given is to receive it wholeheartedly. Receiving something we do not deserve, who wouldn't be gratious and more in love with such a God. "Do we not know that God's kindness leads us to repentance?"
This grace, abounding and amazing, is the heart of the gospel the Lord Jesus has entrusted to the apostle Paul and to every believer who bears Christ's name. "If only I may ... complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of grace." Each of us is given a common task, Paul calls it our "ministry of reconciliation". Carl Henry says, "The Gospel is only good news if it only gets there on time." You don't even have to cross your countries borders to see the need to reach the lost for Christ. Every day violence, suffering, death, broken relationships and injustice continue to advance its ranks in our schools, offices and our families. "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" (Isaiah 6:8). The Lord Almighty is calling out to anyone who can muster up the courage to respond.
Our commitment to the task at hand begins when we become so passionate in love with Jesus we cannot contain the joy and peace in His presence. Our passion for Jesus begins when we experience His grace.
God can and is delighted to meet us where we are, whoever we are. Are we constantly living under the scrutiny of guilt and judgment? Allow Him to render you His grace. Are we struggling to finish the race He has marked out for us? Allow Him to renew your strength as you "wait upon the Lord." Are you falling short to muster up the courage to advance the cause of the gospel in your sphere of influence? Allow Him to empower you as He is the Father who does not withhold and gives good gifts to His children. It is when we let go of our lives and once more enter in the inner room where God's presence dwells that we will be able "to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given us."
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