The Mind of the Melancholeric Man: Musings on Life and Ministry by Patrick Tan
Day in the Life
Back to blogging ... hopefully. Today is Sunday and waiting on my wife as we go to church. We will be going to Binondo today. Ptr. Herb and Karen Johnson once our senior pastor in Binondo, the one before our current pastor is speaking today at church. A few months ago, they were in Papua New Guinea for mission and an unfortunate event happened. Thank God they are okay. But am wondering how they would respond at the changes in our lives. For one, last time they were in Binondo I was still a pastor there, now we're out doing mission. I hope everything turns out well.
The Garment
Excerpt from Max Lucado's In the Grip of Grace:
"My only qualification for writing a book on grace is the clothing I wear. Let me explain.
For years I owned an elegant suit complete with coat, trousers, even a gat. I considered myself quite dapper in the outfit and was confident when others agreed.
The pants were cut from the cloth of my good works, sturdy fabric of deeds done and projects completed. Some studies here, some sermons there. Many people complimented my trousers, and I confess, I tended to hitch them up in public so people would notice them.
The coat was equally impressive. It was woven together from my convictions. Each day I dressed myself in deep feelings of religious fervor. My emotions were quite strong. So strong, in fact, that I was often asked to model my cloak of zeal in public gatherings to inspire others. Of course I was happy to comply.
While there I’d also display my hat, a feathered cap of knowledge. Formed with my own hands from the fabric of personal opinion, I wore it proudly.
Surely God is impressed with my garments, I often thought. Occasionally I strutted into His presence so he could compliment the self-tailored wear. He never spoke. His silence must mean admiration, I convinced myself.
But then my wardrobe began to suffer. The fabric of my trousers grew thin. My best works started coming unstitched. I began leaving more undone tan done, and what little I did was nothing to boast about.
No problem, I thought. I’ll work harder.
But working harder was a problem. There was a hole in my coat of convictions. My resolve was threadbare. A cold wind cut into my chest. I reached up to pull my hat down firmly, and the brim ripped off in my hands.
Over a period of a few months, my wardrobe of self-righteousness completely unraveled. I went from tailored gentlemen’s apparel to beggars’ rags. Fearful that God might be angry at my tattered suit, I did my best to stitch it together and cover my mistakes. But the cloth was so worn. And the wind was so icy. I gave up. I went back to God. (Where else could I go?)
On a wintry Thursday afternoon, I stepped into his presence, not for applause, but for warmth. My prayer was feeble.
“I feel naked.”
“You are. And you have been for a long time.”
What he did next I’ll never forget. “I have something to give you,” he said. He gently removed the remaining threads and then picked up a robe, a regal robe, the clothing of his own goodness.
He wrapped it around my shoulder. His words to me were tender. “My son, you are now clothed with Christ” (see Gal . 3:27)
Though I’d sung the hymn a thousand times, I finally understood it:
Dressed in his righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.”
"My only qualification for writing a book on grace is the clothing I wear. Let me explain.
For years I owned an elegant suit complete with coat, trousers, even a gat. I considered myself quite dapper in the outfit and was confident when others agreed.
The pants were cut from the cloth of my good works, sturdy fabric of deeds done and projects completed. Some studies here, some sermons there. Many people complimented my trousers, and I confess, I tended to hitch them up in public so people would notice them.
The coat was equally impressive. It was woven together from my convictions. Each day I dressed myself in deep feelings of religious fervor. My emotions were quite strong. So strong, in fact, that I was often asked to model my cloak of zeal in public gatherings to inspire others. Of course I was happy to comply.
While there I’d also display my hat, a feathered cap of knowledge. Formed with my own hands from the fabric of personal opinion, I wore it proudly.
Surely God is impressed with my garments, I often thought. Occasionally I strutted into His presence so he could compliment the self-tailored wear. He never spoke. His silence must mean admiration, I convinced myself.
But then my wardrobe began to suffer. The fabric of my trousers grew thin. My best works started coming unstitched. I began leaving more undone tan done, and what little I did was nothing to boast about.
No problem, I thought. I’ll work harder.
But working harder was a problem. There was a hole in my coat of convictions. My resolve was threadbare. A cold wind cut into my chest. I reached up to pull my hat down firmly, and the brim ripped off in my hands.
Over a period of a few months, my wardrobe of self-righteousness completely unraveled. I went from tailored gentlemen’s apparel to beggars’ rags. Fearful that God might be angry at my tattered suit, I did my best to stitch it together and cover my mistakes. But the cloth was so worn. And the wind was so icy. I gave up. I went back to God. (Where else could I go?)
On a wintry Thursday afternoon, I stepped into his presence, not for applause, but for warmth. My prayer was feeble.
“I feel naked.”
“You are. And you have been for a long time.”
What he did next I’ll never forget. “I have something to give you,” he said. He gently removed the remaining threads and then picked up a robe, a regal robe, the clothing of his own goodness.
He wrapped it around my shoulder. His words to me were tender. “My son, you are now clothed with Christ” (see Gal . 3:27)
Though I’d sung the hymn a thousand times, I finally understood it:
Dressed in his righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.”
Raised Up for Such A Time as This
The Story. Haman decides to annihilate the Jews because Mordecai refused to bow down to him. Mordecai runs to her cousin Queen Esther to ask the king for help. Their conversation unfolds in the following passage:
Esther 4:11 "All the king's officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that they be put to death unless the king extends the gold scepter to them and spares their lives. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king."
12 When Esther's words were reported to Mordecai, 13 he sent back this answer: "Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape. 14 For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?"
15 Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: 16 "Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish."
----
The Risk - Showing up to the king unsummoned many cause you your life unless the king is pleased with you. Many Christian are afraid of sharing Christ for the risk of being ridiculed, isolated and rejected. But what if you share Christ and it turned out to be a positive experience for you and your listener?
"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance ... will arise from another place ..." - Your refusal to speak about Christ will not hinder the Lord's work. He will choose another person through whom he will speak. You have missed a great opportunity lang naman!
"You .. will perish" (one day and eventually be forgotten).
"And who knows but that you have come to your position for such a time as this?" - Who knows? God knows! God has placed you where you are--in that class, that office, that community so you can "show forth the praises of Him". To the Christian student, you are not just a student who happens to be a Christian; you are a Christian who happens to be a student! God has raised you up for this purpose, to be a light in your campus; to be a star of Bethlehem to your friends that will point them to Christ. Seize the opportunity!
"If I perish, I perish" - May our love for Christ and other, and our obedience to Him outshine our fears. Who knows? God knows! He has raised you up for such a time as this! Share Christ today!
Esther 4:11 "All the king's officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that they be put to death unless the king extends the gold scepter to them and spares their lives. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king."
12 When Esther's words were reported to Mordecai, 13 he sent back this answer: "Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape. 14 For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?"
15 Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: 16 "Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish."
----
The Risk - Showing up to the king unsummoned many cause you your life unless the king is pleased with you. Many Christian are afraid of sharing Christ for the risk of being ridiculed, isolated and rejected. But what if you share Christ and it turned out to be a positive experience for you and your listener?
"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance ... will arise from another place ..." - Your refusal to speak about Christ will not hinder the Lord's work. He will choose another person through whom he will speak. You have missed a great opportunity lang naman!
"You .. will perish" (one day and eventually be forgotten).
"And who knows but that you have come to your position for such a time as this?" - Who knows? God knows! God has placed you where you are--in that class, that office, that community so you can "show forth the praises of Him". To the Christian student, you are not just a student who happens to be a Christian; you are a Christian who happens to be a student! God has raised you up for this purpose, to be a light in your campus; to be a star of Bethlehem to your friends that will point them to Christ. Seize the opportunity!
"If I perish, I perish" - May our love for Christ and other, and our obedience to Him outshine our fears. Who knows? God knows! He has raised you up for such a time as this! Share Christ today!
Luke 24:44 He said to them, "This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms."
 45 Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures.  46 He told them, "This is what is written: The Messiah will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day,  47 and repentance for the forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.  48 You are witnesses of these things.  49 I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high."
It was only when Jesus "opened their minds" that the disciples finally understood the main thing. Sometimes we get caught up in our own understanding of what God is trying to do--from our perspectives and limitations. The disciples thought Jesus' plan was for a national revolt to restore Israel to it's early glorious reign. Imagine their dismay when their leader was killed. Even until when Jesus resurrected from the grave, their mindsets remained. But Jesus' had his eyes set on something greater, far grander than any human mind could comprehend. The disciples thought about national revolution, Jesus aimed for universal redemption.
There are times I get caught up with the details of life. I tend to look at life with a magnifying glass. In focusing on the minute, I miss the big picture. And when I finally see what God is doing in the tapestry of His grand design, I get overwhelmed. I ask, does my work bring value in God's work? Am I a Martha who misses "what is of utmost importance--sitting at the Master's feet?"
- Jesus has declared it, the gospel will be preached to all nations.
- You are his witness. And God is sending you.
- Be clothed with power from on high. You cannot give what you don't have. Don't forget your TAWG-Time Alone with God (Read the Bible, pray and be filled with the Holy Spirit)
 45 Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures.  46 He told them, "This is what is written: The Messiah will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day,  47 and repentance for the forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.  48 You are witnesses of these things.  49 I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high."
It was only when Jesus "opened their minds" that the disciples finally understood the main thing. Sometimes we get caught up in our own understanding of what God is trying to do--from our perspectives and limitations. The disciples thought Jesus' plan was for a national revolt to restore Israel to it's early glorious reign. Imagine their dismay when their leader was killed. Even until when Jesus resurrected from the grave, their mindsets remained. But Jesus' had his eyes set on something greater, far grander than any human mind could comprehend. The disciples thought about national revolution, Jesus aimed for universal redemption.
There are times I get caught up with the details of life. I tend to look at life with a magnifying glass. In focusing on the minute, I miss the big picture. And when I finally see what God is doing in the tapestry of His grand design, I get overwhelmed. I ask, does my work bring value in God's work? Am I a Martha who misses "what is of utmost importance--sitting at the Master's feet?"
- Jesus has declared it, the gospel will be preached to all nations.
- You are his witness. And God is sending you.
- Be clothed with power from on high. You cannot give what you don't have. Don't forget your TAWG-Time Alone with God (Read the Bible, pray and be filled with the Holy Spirit)
Verses to Keep
The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. - 1Sa 16:7
You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel ... it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s, and he will give all of you into our hands. - 1Sa 17:45-47
You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel ... it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s, and he will give all of you into our hands. - 1Sa 17:45-47
Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. - Mark 10:14-15
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.” - Mark 10:29-31
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.” - Mark 10:29-31
Places I've been to
My Lakbayan grade is C+!
How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!
Created by Eugene Villar.
Bangkok!
Last April 5-12, Netty and I had a blessing to go to Bangkok, Thailand. We were invited to participate in APYL (pronounced "apple" Asia Pacific Youth Leaders Consultation) as coordinators of Chi Alpha Philippines. That was from 6th-8th. We extended our stay to go around the city and spend time with friends Ptr. Rodel, Ate Alice, Ptr. Abe, Ptr. Sur, Ptr. Chad, Ate Renz and Nav). Thank God for giving us an opportunity of visiting this beautiful city.
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| The Grand Palace compound. |
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| This is in Wat Arun ... entrance to the hall of Buddhas. |
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| This was during the consultation. We stayed in Bangkok Christian Center. |
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| This was in a mall featuring wax exhibit. |
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| This is the temple of Wat Arun. The tower was massive and very intricate. |
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| This is in Wat Pho that houses the massive golden lying Buddha. |
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| This was on Saturday when we visited Ancient Siam. It's a park that features replicas of famous sites all over Thailand. |
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| This is the king's palace in the Grand Palace compound. I took this shot. I love it. |
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| This is in Ancient Siam. There's a mini-zoo inside it. Took photo with their resident python. |
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| This was when we arrived in Bangkok, we were met by Ptr. Abe and Ptr. Chad. |
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| This was the last night of the consultation. We went to a dining compound that had cultural shows. These two girls were on their way to the performance. We stopped them for a quick snapshot. |
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| This is in Shakey's in NAIA 3 with Ptr. Rodel and his wife Ate Alice. Ptr. Rodel is the Southeast Asia regional coordinator for One Hope. |
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| This is in Ancient Siam. The background is a replica of the Pavilion of Englightenment. Very beautiful architecture. |
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| These are the delegates of the APYL consultation. 9 countries were represented here. |
It is finished!
My M. Div course that is. Last April 1 I graduated in Masters of Divinity after 6.5 years of taking it up. I wrote in my FB message:
On April 1, I will be graduating from Asian Seminary of Christian Ministries (www.ascm.net) Masters of Divinity (Oct 2004-Apr 2011). I entered ASCM after responding God's call in my life at the Asian Institute of Youth Studies May 2004 (after graduating in UST) in APTS Baguio City. This season has been a fulfilling and molding experiece. ASCM has equipped me to do what God has called me to do: to serve the next generation and to impact the nations for God. Through your support, encouragement and prayers you made this possible. Thank you for investing your life in me. To God be the glory for the things He has done!
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| With my family. |
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| Our friend Mutya attended the graduation. I'm the last of the remnants of this group. Most of them had already graduated or moved to other places already. |
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| My beloved adviser and professor Dr. Zonia Tappeiner. She and her husband Dr. T made an impact in my life. |
Help me overcome my unbelief
"' ... But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us' ... 'If you can'? said Jesus. 'Everything is possible for the one who believes.' ... 'I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" - Mark 9:22-24
" 'Why couldn't we drive it out?' ... 'This kind can come out only by prayer.' " - Mark 9:28-29
Many times we get used to the normal. Normal is getting by. Getting by what's there and existing. Getting used to our limps and crutches. We used to believe that God will take them away, but "I've been asking for awhile and the answer hasn't come yet.". So we take on a new notion that it's something that will be permanent, something that we should deal with from day to day. And our prayers become something like, "If you [God] can do anything ... help us." Two things are revealed from the father's prayer: First his lack of faith, seeing his son suffer this sickness "from childhood" made him believe that perhaps God can't do anything about it. One pastor says, "So small a prayer might be an insult to God." We must be reminded that God is sovereign--He know's what He is doing ... and God is all powerful--He is able to do anything. Yes, anything. Second observation is that this father lacked faith in themselves. He thought his family's circumstance is too small to be dealt with by an Almighty God. "If you can do anything ..." is like saying ... "Well, if you have spare time, but if I'm interrupting it's fine." How many times we pray prayers like that as if God had something better to do, more important to do. But God is more than willing to hear us and meet our need. Experiencing God tells us the beauty of serving our God. He is sovereign (He knows what he's doing), He is all-powerful (He can do anything) and He is Love ... God is Love. He does what's best for us and for His glory. Imagine that, a God who can do everything and He's on our side and He knows what He's doing.
"Everything is possible for one who believes." Everything is possible, that's the promise of Jesus himself. Impossible does not exist in God's vocabulary! Imagine what opportunities are open to a child of God. But this promise has a premise: "for one who believes." "One" can mean anyone. Jesus does not say "a child of God" or "the faithful". But it's an invitation for anyone to come and believe. Yes, even the worst of sinners and the unreligious. This invitation to believe the impossible is for everyone. The main ingredient is belief--or faith. Faith in what or to whom? Faith that God can and that He will. "Without faith it is impossible to please God." "Faith can move mountains."
What is the main ingredient of your prayers lately? Is it full of faith or a recitation or duty? God longs to share an intimate conversation with us. Like a parent longing to hear a young child's exploits after a day's work, God longs to hear our exploits, our victories and even our failures. When we ask, He won't say, "let's set an appointment for that," or "let me check my schedule." "Would a father give his son a snake when he asks for an egg? ..." His promise, "If fathers would know how to give good gifts to their children, how much more will our heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him."
Let it be the father's response be our response and prayer. "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Let us return once again to this child-like faith and trust to God and say, "Yes, Lord, I believe." God help me overcome my lack of faith--Ultimately it is God who will draw us to himself to know Him and trust Him.
" 'Why couldn't we drive it out?' ... 'This kind can come out only by prayer.' " - Mark 9:28-29
Many times we get used to the normal. Normal is getting by. Getting by what's there and existing. Getting used to our limps and crutches. We used to believe that God will take them away, but "I've been asking for awhile and the answer hasn't come yet.". So we take on a new notion that it's something that will be permanent, something that we should deal with from day to day. And our prayers become something like, "If you [God] can do anything ... help us." Two things are revealed from the father's prayer: First his lack of faith, seeing his son suffer this sickness "from childhood" made him believe that perhaps God can't do anything about it. One pastor says, "So small a prayer might be an insult to God." We must be reminded that God is sovereign--He know's what He is doing ... and God is all powerful--He is able to do anything. Yes, anything. Second observation is that this father lacked faith in themselves. He thought his family's circumstance is too small to be dealt with by an Almighty God. "If you can do anything ..." is like saying ... "Well, if you have spare time, but if I'm interrupting it's fine." How many times we pray prayers like that as if God had something better to do, more important to do. But God is more than willing to hear us and meet our need. Experiencing God tells us the beauty of serving our God. He is sovereign (He knows what he's doing), He is all-powerful (He can do anything) and He is Love ... God is Love. He does what's best for us and for His glory. Imagine that, a God who can do everything and He's on our side and He knows what He's doing.
"Everything is possible for one who believes." Everything is possible, that's the promise of Jesus himself. Impossible does not exist in God's vocabulary! Imagine what opportunities are open to a child of God. But this promise has a premise: "for one who believes." "One" can mean anyone. Jesus does not say "a child of God" or "the faithful". But it's an invitation for anyone to come and believe. Yes, even the worst of sinners and the unreligious. This invitation to believe the impossible is for everyone. The main ingredient is belief--or faith. Faith in what or to whom? Faith that God can and that He will. "Without faith it is impossible to please God." "Faith can move mountains."
What is the main ingredient of your prayers lately? Is it full of faith or a recitation or duty? God longs to share an intimate conversation with us. Like a parent longing to hear a young child's exploits after a day's work, God longs to hear our exploits, our victories and even our failures. When we ask, He won't say, "let's set an appointment for that," or "let me check my schedule." "Would a father give his son a snake when he asks for an egg? ..." His promise, "If fathers would know how to give good gifts to their children, how much more will our heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him."
Let it be the father's response be our response and prayer. "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Let us return once again to this child-like faith and trust to God and say, "Yes, Lord, I believe." God help me overcome my lack of faith--Ultimately it is God who will draw us to himself to know Him and trust Him.
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