APYAC Reflections

“Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades. - Rev 1:17-18

I thank God for reminding me not to be afraid. That He is the First and the Last. For me it meant that He has seen my future, therefore I will be secure. It also means that from start to finish He is the main thing and should be my top priority. Everything I do should end up for His glory and nothing else.

My time spent in APYAC (Asia Pacific Youth Alive Conference) has showed me that the Philippines is a blessed nation in that we have a relatively larger percentage of believers in the general population. Our nation enjoys religious freedom and everyone generally has knowledge of Jesus. I am reminded of God's promise to Abraham:

 “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” - Genesis 12:2-3

God blessing us with spiritual blessing is not just for our benefit, but so that "all peoples on earth will be blessed through" us. For me this means that as a nation we should be looking on how we can be a blessing to the nations. It challenges me as a leader on the way I am utilizing my influence to make our youth aware of the need and the cries of the nations, and to mobilize them to reach them. And in this I feel that I am wanting. There is more to be done for the Philippines. Lord, may You give me the strength to do what needs to be done. I know You shall see me through. You are the first and the last. I will not be afraid.

APYAC has also reminded me of my personal calling. I have come to this point where once again I am juggling too many things. The question is if each of these commitments is helping me realize God's call in my life. With too much on my plate, I can't be excellent in all of them, and I've become mediocre and even bad in some. I am called to serve the youth of the nations. And I have to clean up my act. God will make all things beautiful in His time. 

I'm also confronted with my personal relationship with God. My busyness has affected my relationship with God. It can be better. God has since been putting me in places of influence, where I sometimes half-hearted to take upon. Feelings of guilt, unworthiness and apathy. The result is I'm not fully the person that I can be when these kairos moments come. But once again, I am reminded of who I am in Christ, that I am a minister of the gospel. That I have been called and that I've been called to sacrifice and give up the desires of the world. I am reminded of the one of the messages during the conference. Actually it's the first session given by the General Superintendent of AoG Malaysia:

By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. 25 He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. 26 He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. - Hebrews 11:24-26

I still remember his outline. (1) Faith sometimes changes things. (2) Faith sometimes do not change things, it changes you. (3) Faith demands a quality decision. I pray that God will be patient with me and continue to change the condition of my heart. The more I'm thrust into places of influence, my heart is confronted to its wicked tendencies: to pride, envy and insecurity. I cannot afford to delay and be found unfit for service. Yet I shall fall into His amazing grace. May God in the end find me faithful to Him alone. May my heart's longing be only the pleasure of its Master.