The Mind of the Melancholeric Man: Musings on Life and Ministry by Patrick Tan
Went to Cartimar this afternoon for some fish-shopping. I'm slowly rebuilding my reef aquarium. It was very traffic in Cartimar, luckily we got a parking space immediately after arriving. I was also on the hunt for Christmas ponsettias, which I theorize would cost cheaper since Christmas day is over, but when we got to the plant shop there was not a single ponsettia to be found! I theorize they purposely kept it because it is already out of season.
I've been also on the hunt for other Christmas stuff or items that were in sale. I got a camping tent for P999.00. The tent occupies 4 persons; good for camping. I'm still looking for a cheap capiz parol. Also got a microwave oven on sale at P2500.
Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. Probably I'll fill up my reef tank. Eat my fill at noche buena.. I'm doing baked potatoes hopefully.
I've been also on the hunt for other Christmas stuff or items that were in sale. I got a camping tent for P999.00. The tent occupies 4 persons; good for camping. I'm still looking for a cheap capiz parol. Also got a microwave oven on sale at P2500.
Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. Probably I'll fill up my reef tank. Eat my fill at noche buena.. I'm doing baked potatoes hopefully.
I decided to wake up earlier - 10AM.. A great accomplishment for a sluggish sleepyhead. Last night we moved our bed to another position that I can place my stuff beside my bed, including my alarm clock. But even when the alarm clock was right beside my ear, I was not awaken by the clock but a houseperson saying that the alarm clock is ringing. I'm bad at waking through alarms.
I found my dad talking on the phone with pastor. Another issue in the church. When will this stop? Later I'll be going to church to practice for Sunday worship.
These are the times when I ask myself, "Where is the church headed?" I feel pointless, my work senseless and no direction to go to. Last night my family were talking about moving church. It seems hopeless and stubborn. I am an objective person. A person who does things for a purpose, for a goal. My motivation is driven by carefully laid-out and God-inquired plans. When there is no vision the people scatter. I feel like a sheep without a shepherd. Three years in the youth ministry proved to be a great experience... but how long can I hold up? I've been inquiring to the Lord of my struggles. What is in store for 2005? I am growing weary.
I found my dad talking on the phone with pastor. Another issue in the church. When will this stop? Later I'll be going to church to practice for Sunday worship.
These are the times when I ask myself, "Where is the church headed?" I feel pointless, my work senseless and no direction to go to. Last night my family were talking about moving church. It seems hopeless and stubborn. I am an objective person. A person who does things for a purpose, for a goal. My motivation is driven by carefully laid-out and God-inquired plans. When there is no vision the people scatter. I feel like a sheep without a shepherd. Three years in the youth ministry proved to be a great experience... but how long can I hold up? I've been inquiring to the Lord of my struggles. What is in store for 2005? I am growing weary.
Wake Up Call
Is this all there is? Is this what God has in store for his people? I believe that there is much in store for this people of God. I long for the day when our people will be active participants of the Word. People would never have to leave to look for greener pastures because the Church gives them sustenance. Vision is the key in order that we achieve this plight - a vision as clear and as vibrant as a flowing mountain stream. Vision that will move heart and minds towards one purpose, one goal – a body united in Christ.
We ought to have an environment where a person can exercise his faith, his love for other people, his leadership, and or prayerfulness. And that environment is to be provided non-other that Church. The Church is the hope of the world today and church leaders ought to spur the Church towards its mission – to reach out to the hopeless world.
We are accountable my friends, accountable to our weaker brothers and ultimately we will answer to God when that Day comes. I pray that in this time God will bring revival to us while my strength is still young. As the Scriptures say, “Remember thy Creator in the days of thy youth.” I fervently long to see that day.
We ought to have an environment where a person can exercise his faith, his love for other people, his leadership, and or prayerfulness. And that environment is to be provided non-other that Church. The Church is the hope of the world today and church leaders ought to spur the Church towards its mission – to reach out to the hopeless world.
We are accountable my friends, accountable to our weaker brothers and ultimately we will answer to God when that Day comes. I pray that in this time God will bring revival to us while my strength is still young. As the Scriptures say, “Remember thy Creator in the days of thy youth.” I fervently long to see that day.
It's two days after Christmas. Still nothing to do. My banaue trip has been cancelled due to lack of people who will go with me. I don't like it when people say they will come with you and the next thing they won't. It dampens my adventurer spirit.
Christmas day wasn't exciting either. We had our grandparent's family reunion at our house. Not all my cousins came. Things are very different now, when the family has grown older. I miss my childhood Christmas. When everybody is there, gifts, noche buena and the happiness of being togeter. Now it's different. My grandma is no longer here, my grandfather is sick and unable to speak and understand. Each of my mother's siblings already lived on far places. Each cousins have grown up and grown cold with each other. I remember I have two cousins who were nearly as same age as me and we get along together when we were kids. But after they moved to another place and seldom see them, I became estranged to them. Lots of things have changed, and I long for those old moments to return. But I guess it's already impossible. Just take it like a grown man.
God I really miss those times. I hope that when I have my own family, we will have our own get together with my parents and brother's family, together with my friends' families.
Christmas day wasn't exciting either. We had our grandparent's family reunion at our house. Not all my cousins came. Things are very different now, when the family has grown older. I miss my childhood Christmas. When everybody is there, gifts, noche buena and the happiness of being togeter. Now it's different. My grandma is no longer here, my grandfather is sick and unable to speak and understand. Each of my mother's siblings already lived on far places. Each cousins have grown up and grown cold with each other. I remember I have two cousins who were nearly as same age as me and we get along together when we were kids. But after they moved to another place and seldom see them, I became estranged to them. Lots of things have changed, and I long for those old moments to return. But I guess it's already impossible. Just take it like a grown man.
God I really miss those times. I hope that when I have my own family, we will have our own get together with my parents and brother's family, together with my friends' families.
Nothing to do today.. woke up at noon in time for lunch. My works are done and one pending. Unmotivating to do because this client is stingy while being overly critic. We got some visitors today - My dad's cousin and his two aunties. I haven't seen them for some time. Got to chat with some long lost friends.
Christmas is near.
Today was our Christmas service at church. The youth had prepared two Christmas presentations. One was a human video entitled 'The Bridge' which I got from Master's Commission team when I was in AIYS. The church was full. I led worship. I introduced a song called 'In The Secret', which to some may sound familiar because though a Christian song, it was once a soundtrack of a teeny movie called 'She's All That' which stars Rachel Leigh Cook.
I have been sleeping too late because of the new DSL and the laptop. That's why also lately I'm having pimples. I plan to visit a dermatologist hopefully. Still tired from last two week's schedule. And it seems things kept coming up. I'm not spared from work even in Christmas season... In the States, instead of calling this season 'Christmas' they call it 'Holiday' season. True, as pastor had preached, the world has been putting Jesus in the back seat of Christmas.
After Christmas I'm planning to go back to Banaue. Though I'm not sure because from 8 people who would come with me we decreased to only three. I don't like it when people assume somethings which are not... Haay.
As time goes by, I'm realizing I'm slowly becoming less of the free, adventurous person I once was. They're have been a lot of stuff that keeps me from soaring free.. each one weighing you down.. work, commitments, responsibilities, financial responsibilites, and people.. I guess my social circle is smaller than an average person cause I cannot handle too much acquaintances.
Today was our Christmas service at church. The youth had prepared two Christmas presentations. One was a human video entitled 'The Bridge' which I got from Master's Commission team when I was in AIYS. The church was full. I led worship. I introduced a song called 'In The Secret', which to some may sound familiar because though a Christian song, it was once a soundtrack of a teeny movie called 'She's All That' which stars Rachel Leigh Cook.
I have been sleeping too late because of the new DSL and the laptop. That's why also lately I'm having pimples. I plan to visit a dermatologist hopefully. Still tired from last two week's schedule. And it seems things kept coming up. I'm not spared from work even in Christmas season... In the States, instead of calling this season 'Christmas' they call it 'Holiday' season. True, as pastor had preached, the world has been putting Jesus in the back seat of Christmas.
After Christmas I'm planning to go back to Banaue. Though I'm not sure because from 8 people who would come with me we decreased to only three. I don't like it when people assume somethings which are not... Haay.
As time goes by, I'm realizing I'm slowly becoming less of the free, adventurous person I once was. They're have been a lot of stuff that keeps me from soaring free.. each one weighing you down.. work, commitments, responsibilities, financial responsibilites, and people.. I guess my social circle is smaller than an average person cause I cannot handle too much acquaintances.
'Da King' is Dead
It was a silent yet shocking news. FPJ is dead. The King of Philippine action movies loses to his final battle with sudden stroke. When he was in intensive care somehow I figured that there's a possibility that he will not make it. Even at this early stage in intensive care, the media is already swarming about the issue - as if he is already dead. Infomercial here and there. I hope that wasn't the factor that cut through FPJ's last breaths.
I was listening to news in the car this afternoon and still the main news for the day was FPJ. There was one incident where some of FPJ's supporters during election destroyed the flowers sent by the administration. I laughed when someone remarked from FPJ's camp (an old woman) saying that it was PGMA's fault why FPJ died and they will take revenge.. I mean, the man died on natural cause. Why blame it to the president.
FPJ's impact to Philippine society is undoubtedly huge. The defender of the poor, the oppressed. Fighting with super quick punches and miraculously misses gunshots, now is put to rest.
I was listening to news in the car this afternoon and still the main news for the day was FPJ. There was one incident where some of FPJ's supporters during election destroyed the flowers sent by the administration. I laughed when someone remarked from FPJ's camp (an old woman) saying that it was PGMA's fault why FPJ died and they will take revenge.. I mean, the man died on natural cause. Why blame it to the president.
FPJ's impact to Philippine society is undoubtedly huge. The defender of the poor, the oppressed. Fighting with super quick punches and miraculously misses gunshots, now is put to rest.
Today I woke up from a very angry text from my project manager. I'm delayed of work. I was supposed to give it last night, but after she bid to sleep, I did also. I still haven't regained my lack of sleep from last week. Last week was one of the busiest week of the year. I juggled between school, work and ministry.. I preached that Sunday, and by the grace of God it went well.
Last week I went to two Christmas parties. One was our church's Christmas party and the other was our young people's Christmas party. Of course, the youth Christmas party rocked.
Today, one of my short-term goals had come to pass. I got a new laptop. I've been hoping and confessing it for months, that I will buy one. I got an ASUS A2 laptop that almost performs like my desktop PC. I bought it because I'm a very mobile person. I also had DSL just last week. That was because, we needed a phone line and before when I get online, the phone line is always busy. My dad needs it for business.
Last week I went to two Christmas parties. One was our church's Christmas party and the other was our young people's Christmas party. Of course, the youth Christmas party rocked.
Today, one of my short-term goals had come to pass. I got a new laptop. I've been hoping and confessing it for months, that I will buy one. I got an ASUS A2 laptop that almost performs like my desktop PC. I bought it because I'm a very mobile person. I also had DSL just last week. That was because, we needed a phone line and before when I get online, the phone line is always busy. My dad needs it for business.
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