Patrick Tan: September 2006

Driving along a dark alley on my way home I was halted by a police car and realized I was driving on a one-way street. The cop came and took my license. Came back informing me that I would be fined P2000 for one-way traffic violation. I pleaded for a second-chance. He asked me where I came from. I came from school. Where? In the seminary. You go a seminary? Are you studying to be a priest? Sort-of. Then he checked out my books and stuff from the passenger seat to confirm I was a seminary student. I was. He asked for an ID. Then he said he'll let me go just this time.

I pondered a bit what just happened. What made the cop let go of me when he learned I'm a seminary student? Was it because he's earning pogi-points from God by being extra-lenient to people like me? Or would God tolerate my violation by giving me an escape? Whatever the answer is, I'm just glad he let me go.

Today I went early to school. I'm playing in chapel service. After chapel, went with Emmanuel to eat. Felt sleepy after so I slept in the car until 4:30PM. An hour after it was time for Hebrew class.

Just got home. Quite tired. I came from school. Today was our Drama Festival for Gospel and Acts subject. I felt I wasn't able to contribute because I avoided an acting part instead I volunteered as technical and props person. I sucked at doing both. We were only composed of 7 people. Seconds before the curtains opened my computer hanged from the connection of the LCD, scratching the video and powerpoint intros that I made - it wasn't shown, plus the people were like mocking a steady blue light. I just ended up playing impromtu stage music and closing song. In retrospect, I believe our entry is still competitive, but its my contribution that I'm ranting about. I know some of my groupmates were pissed at me because I wasn't fulfilling my roles so I apologized to them after. I'm just thankful that it is over.

I'm not really good in acting. I don't like being involved in one. But once in a while like pushes me over its fence. I remember in highschool playing Shakespeare but received negative results though I gave it my best. It was just there were people better than me. I acknowledge that. Drama projects at OT class were another thing I don't like, but have to do it for the grade. I know it's just isn't my element. Just let me play in a band or something or plan an event.

Finally I was able to get rest today. I was able to spend a good devotional time. I sought Him, even though it was hard to get back at first. But after my devotional time... God really speaks in different ways.. It's amazing. While I was watching a feature about ASEAN bio-diversity, He pointed me to a peculiar creature of the sea... a nudibranch - or sea slug. These small colorful creatures are related to the snails and inhabit the coral reefs. Then I thought how God took time and energy and such creativity to create these astounding creatures. I remembered how Jesus tells us that God cares for His creatures,

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father... So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows (Matthew 10:29-31).

There was God's love right there. I was watching this documentary and I was teary-eyed. I could imagine how God's inifinite greatness created these creature, how much more he created someone in His likeness, in His image, given us a portion of His being. He loved me.

I am finally relaxing. Haven't blogged for a while because since last week I was bombarded with lots of stuff to do. It happened that my freelance work, school, campus ministry and other responsbilities conspired to demand high-priority tasks due that week. By the end of the week I was officially burned-out. But still I really thank God for HIS GRACE that brought me through. Without that, I would have already broken down. To Him be all the glory and the praises. Some highlights of my week:

Chi-Alpha Universidad de Manila launching last Thursday. There were around 20 plus students from UDM who came. We had games, food.. I also shared the message. Next week it's PUP's turn to launch their Chi-Alpha.
ASCM Concert last Friday, I was in-charge of visual and media. Because of this and another design due, I was out of sleep Friday. But the concert turned out awesome!
Youth Leadership Conference of Section 2 last Saturday.

I'm planning of enjoying my day tomorrow big time. I've been also experiencing some back pains from sitting in front of the computer for a long time. Please do pray for me.

A little update on what happened on the weeklong celebration of my birthday... ok, the weeklong was just stir. But this year's birthday was fun.

SATURDAY. The youth at church "surprised" me with balloons with personal notes in them that I needed to pop. Before they came out I knew there was already something fishy going on. But it did surprised me with the way their surprise gift. I was touched. They told me that I shoot burst the balloons by sitting on them. I told them I'm scared of bursting a balloon with my butt (Since the dawn of my childhood party days and friend's I never joined a pop-a-baloon relay). So I just stomped on them! But they managed to convince me to pop just one. We celebrated with lots of food and my favorite ice cream! Thanks guys!

MONDAY. At 12MN text messages started coming. In the morning I had to go to school. This week's our foundation week. And I had to compete in a poster-making contest. It was great. I think we did good. I came in an hour late. Just then I was told that the time limit is 2 hours. Eventually, we did not made it within 2 hours. But we still finished the poster. I don't like unfinished projects I told my partner. Feedbacks we're positive. I think we worked on it for 3 hours. After that had lunch with Erene and Emmanuel. Then went to Reef Check to do some review on the website I was doing for them. They liked it. Went home. Celebrated with family.

TUESDAY. Had Bible Study with Metro students at 2. Then went to Central AG to meet UDM students and celebrate again. This time it was a triple-celebration. It was Glady, Harold and my birthday that were celebrated.

New Blogger

I moved to the "new" blogger. I tried importing my blog to Wordpress but I realized it has a hard time loading and the interface is not so good. Then it began, my blogger is publishing weird. Paragraphs are not being recognized. Good thing, blogger has a new version (beta) with new features. So hopefully the Blogger team could still merge my old and new blogs. For those who's still looking for my previous entries you can check it out here. So bear with me as I start building up my blog again. Happy blogging!

Some good features:

Category tags (Finally!)
Movable and customize widgets

Jesus You Are

"It was the pure Language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than anything in the world. He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning."

Paulo Coelho
The Alchemist, 1988

Had a very tiring week. Stressful. Work, school and ministry catching up on me. Yesterday morning and this morning I drove for more than three hours visiting churches to promote for our sectional youth event. Weirdest day today. I was caught by an MMDA for changing lanes in the U turn slot in EDSA-Pasay. I thought my license would be confiscated. I've been caught a number of times. Mostly in Makati. But today was different. I was fined, my license returned and I will just have to pay the fine in the bank. After that, went to Blue Wave to have lunch. On the way out, we were halted by the parking attendant asking for my parking ticket. I had none. I entered the parking lot without paying, unknown that there was a parking fee & unknown that I entered through the exit gate (My bad. The exit sign was so big, but swear I didn't see it when I entered). And the guy was like asking me to pay P80 fine. They were saying they didn't leave their post. But how could a car sneak under nose without noticing? They called their OIC. My argument was they were giving me a fine for a mistake I commited because of their negligence. My hats off to the OIC. He reprimanded the parking attendant. But he also reprimanded my gently saying "ignorance of the law is not an excuse". All the time I thought their was parking fee, but wala naman pala! They let me go. Driving to church I thought, those drained my energy. It snowballed until youth fellowship. I was really drained.

My lolo is getting cremated on Monday. After church went to the funeral. Keeping vigil on the funeral also contributed to my stressful week. I wasn't also able to spend much study time since my works are in the laptop. Returning home, my mom told me that our househelp, the one who took care of my lolo, saw my lolo at our house, in their room, sitting on a wheelchair, smiling back! That caught me off-guard. I hate that feeling. I thought my mom shouldn't have told me that.

Tomorrow, my parents aren't going to church, they're staying in the funeral. Just me and my bro.

Still after all these... God, You're the best! Thank you for the grace that is continuously leading me in the completion of the good work You have given me.