I'm in school now. I'm finished with my class..

Where can I go
Where my heart's thought is valid?
I am broken
Tasting my own bittersweet medicine.

Am I entitled to be happy?
Am I entitled not to be alone?
I am facing a cold stone wall
Whispering thoughts my mind can't conceive.

I buried myself in words
Written by people enticed with themselves
In this hollow cold space
Hearing dirges I can only hear.

My dear traveller, I wish you can feel my innermost being
Feel the deep cut thru my chest
I have proven silver cannot satisfy
The deepest tragedies of my heart.

Still awake doing nothing. In front of the PC. Waiting for something (to happen) I do not know. I want to sleep, but as if my day is not yet satisfactory. Wanting to do something but today I choose not to. Listening to iTunes. Spent sometime creating ideas for ministry. My head is wasted. Tomorrow my body will follow. Need to go to class by 9.

After Carecell last Saturday at Ice Monster in Banawe Avenue. We held our Carecell at Zarah, Justin & Doris' house.

Billy Graham Will Do His Last Crusade

"People ask me if I fear death. I don't," Graham said at the press conference. "I look forward to death with great anticipation, to meeting God face to face."

Wait In Vain

What's up with me tonight? I'm in a senti-mode right now...

Wait In Vain
Annie Lennox

+ From the very first time I rest my eyes on you | My heart said follow through | But I know now that I'm way down on your line | But the waiting feeling's fine

+ So don't treat me like a puppet on a string | Because I know how to do my thing | Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb | I wanna know when you're gonna come

+ You see, I don't wanna wait in vain for your love | 'Cause summer is here and I'm still waiting there | Winter is here and I'm still waiting there

+ Like I said, it's been three years since I'm knocking on your door | And still I can knock some more | Is it crazy look, I wanna know now | For I to knock some more?

+ In life I know that there is lots of grief | But your love is my relief | Tears in my eyes burn | While I'm waiting for my turn

What's on my playlist tonight:
+ Wait in Vain - Annie Lennox
+ She Loved Me - Sarah McLachlan
+ Never Fall in Love Again - Burt Bacharach
+ Superstar - The Carpenters
+ Say You Love Me - Patti Austin
+ Solitaire - Neil Sedaka
+ Broken - Robert Downey Jr.
+ Summer Breeze - Seals and Croft
+ A Song for You - The Carpenters
+ Hurting Each Other - The Carpenters
+ Toledo - Elvis Costello

When She Loved Me

This was the song Jessie the Cowgirl sang in Toy Story 2 when she reminisced the good times she had with her person. When she was the apple of her person's eye. It's heartbreaking watching this part of the movie.

When She Loved Me
Sarah McLachlan

+ When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful | Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart | And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears | And when she was happy, so was I, when she loved me.

+ Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all | Just she and I together, like it was meant to be | And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her | And I knew that she loved me.

+ So the years went by, I stayed the same | And she began to drift away, I was left alone | Still I waited for the day, when she’d say "I will always love you."
+ Lonely and forgotten, never thought she’d look my way | She smiled at me and held me, just like she used to do | Like she loved me, when she loved me

+ When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful | Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart | When she loved me.

Christ shield me today
against poison, against burning,
against drowning, against wounding,
So that there may come to me abundance of reward:
Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ on my right,
Christ of my left,
Christ when I lie,
Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in quiet,
Christ in danger,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

- Saint Patrick of Ireland
From Jesus Freaks Volume II

Got Jesus Freaks 2: Stories of Revolutionaries who Changed the World - Fearing God not Man. Thanks Brznf! A true dependable Jesus Freak.

I attended chapel service today. It's good to be ministered to for a change. Worship was great. We sang 'To The Ends of The Earth.' Dr. Tappeiner spoke about God's message on our school's divine purpose on earth. That we must become ourselves 'tools of transformation' in order to transform others.


I found the book today in Glorietta.

Hotel Rwanda

Today I had one-hour class in Theological Research in school. Despite its 3rd week of meeting, it was my first time to attend this class due to work. Our professor was a Russian named Ms. Brylko, also a former student of ASCM. After class I stayed up until 4PM doing VFT work with free wireless internet in the library. :)


After school I decided to go to Robinsons Place to watch a movie. Then I saw Hotel Rwanda. The movie is about the true story of man named Paul Rusesabagina who became a hero during the Rwandan genocide in 1994. I wasn't even aware that this happened years back. The movie is very good. My latest favorite. A story of initiative, love and humanity. Don Cheadle and Sophie Okonedo's performances are remarkable. Now I want to get the book about it.

Woke up today with a text message on my cell. Chiang Kai Shek College denied us to distribute Book of Hope in their school. The largest and major school in our area denied us. They said it's because they are a non-sectarian, I figured. I made some calls to follow-up other schools. Hope Christian High School approved us already. So far there are 4 schools approved, 4 denied, and 4 waiting. I just pray that those 4 waiting will approve us.

A little later I will be going to school.

I'm at the school library today using wireless internet for the first time. Last week I bought a wireless adapter. Cool!

Today was the day we visit the schools of our area to present the Book of Hope. 5 schools approved Book of Hope to be distributed in their schools. 5 needs to be followed-up. 2 declined our offer. God is good and to Him be all the glory.

Schools welcomed us in varied ways. Some were welcoming, some were not. At 8:30AM our first stop was Lorenzo Ruiz Academy, a Chinese Catholic school runned by priests. Principal was cold to us and asked us to return call the next week.


Ate Anj, presents BOH to school supervisor in Manila Patriotic Academy

Sun Yat Sen High School and Manila Patriotic Academy, welcomed us and signed-up for distribution. I realized it was a very large factor that the Book of Hope is given for free for each student. They get surprised and/or suspicious. They are surprised to know that there are no strings attached. Next stop was Hope Christian High School. Principal was not around. Left proposal to secretary. We went to McDonald's for a quick snack.

Next stop: Philippine Academy of Sakya, a Buddhist school runned by monks. I was surprised that they were kind and welcomed us unlike some of the schools we will encounter that day. The school inside had a room like a Buddhist temple, with golden sitting Buddha. The air smelled like joss sticks. There were monks walking around. Sadly they declined our offer since our material 'conflicts with the teachings of Buddha.' They asked us to leave some books for the faculty and staff. They referred us to St. Mary's Academy which is near the school.

St. Mary's Academy, an all-girl Catholic school runned by nuns. We had a little luck there. The principal was no where to be found. We left the material to the school guard.

Next stop: Metropolitan Hospital College of Nursing, non-sec. They allowed us to distribute, but since it was a college, the schedule of students were irregular. We took lunch there.

More schools to go in the afternoon...

Finally I got to sleep with no worry in mind. Slept in 12AM and woke up 10AM - Wow, ten hours of sleep! That's rare.. hehe.


Last night we surprised Zarah, one of my core, with a Red Ribbon chocolate mousse cake topped with 20 candles lined into the number 20. She figured there was something going on upon a series of blunders we made along the way. But it was fun. Doing something nice for people you love.

Today I was able to pay my tuition at school. I was also able to pay my bills. It came very alive to me that I am living under God's grace. That His mercies are new every morning. Always in time, never delays.

It rained hard today. I have a one-hour class today but missed it again for the second meeting. I had to do a rush work again. I was so sleepy yesterday that I cannot remember how I end up in my bed this morning. The last time I remember was I was in the computer doing some Flash stuff for the rush project. I didn't make the project either until this morning. I figured my agent would be so pissed off because I promised to deliver it that evening. But man, I was out all day yesterday. 9AM I'm already at YLDA in San Lorenzo Village in Makati, and from afternoon until evening I was at school, in the library, closet & classroom.

Figuring I have to missed the class today, I still decided to go to school to at least finish off my enrollment by paying my tuition. Then I learned the check I got from a project bounced and therefore have no money to pay my tuition (The check should clear three days after deposit, my fault, I was supposed to encash it.) Day before that I was standing at the cashier booth paying only less than half of my fee therefore not being able to secure my classcards.

Then the rains came. It came hard. Late afternoon Kim and I went to see Batman Begins. Cool movie. This franchise of Batman movie return from the 'black' genre unlike the two former movies (Batman Forever & Batman and Robin). It was quite a long movie. I liked the story arc though not Christian Bale as Batman. He was too skinny I think. The mask he wore is not so good either though understandable since it was the first of its kind. Ken Watanabe appeared only at first, it was unfortunate since I like him very much also in The Last Samurai.

Everyday I am falling for this girl...

We did an impromptu trip with my male leaders (Me, Johan, Brznf, Lawrence & Jerald) last Sunday, since it was holiday the following Monday. We went to Tagaytay that Sunday, stayed in a cozy inn. The next day we stretched our creative imagination further and decided to go beaching in Nasugbu, Batangas. Definitely made male bonding there. On the way home we caught a flat tire. Good thing Johanssen knows how to change tires. Johanssen, one in my core group of youth leaders, is like McGyver, who knows almost every practical chore: changing tires, driving, cooking, starting a fire. We arrived in Manila 8:30PM.

I like impromptu trips once in a while. The adventure, the relationships that galvanize while on the road. You learn lots of things like marinating and changing tires.

Today is a busy day. I'm supposed to be in Makati at 9AM. Only had 3 hours of sleep due to a rush outsource project. At 9AM I'll be back at YLDA office to do in-house revision because the team will be leaving tomorrow for Cambodia. After lunch I'm heading off to school to finish my enrollment process and chill at the library to do some assigned book reading. Will be done 8PM. I so want to sleep now but I can't.

Tagaytay-Nasugbu Freaktrip

Just came home from Reuben Morgan's praise and worship concert. It was awesome and refreshing. From our church we were 30 more or less. And the crowds are so game that we kept on jumping to the beat everytime the songs are upbeat. What I loved the most was when he sang "Still", it was so powerful for me.

Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair by Pablo Neruda

Here at Starbucks in 6750 Makati. I came in early around 30 minutes ago. I have a meeting with my client at 10AM. For the past nine days with significant procrastination with regular intervals, I've been cramming to finish a multimedia project for YLDA. My client is off to Cambodia this Wednesday for their regional conference. And though the presentation should be ready by then, I'm so wanting to finish this project so I could take time to focus now on my studies.

I feel like a socialite hanging around here. The barista kept on calling the names of the customers who's waiting for their golden coffee. Such a nice feeling when your name is called isn't it? Across the table is a Korean. I think he is gay. He's got a little pink scarf going on inside his polo shirt. His name should be Khu, based on what is written on his iced coffee cup. 30 seconds after this moment he already went off.

Busy Days Are Here Again

Grabe, super busy. First week in class I was only able to attend my Tuesday class because of a pending work that was due Wednesday but until now I haven't finished. I'm meeting the client tomorrow in Makati for the first review. I haven't also finished my enrollment so I don't have my classcards with me. Tonight I left house at 6pm for band practice at church.

Tomorrow night is Reuben Morgan's concert in Araneta Coliseum. Looking forward to it.

What has happened to our nation? Jueteng hearings, wiretapping crimes, 2004 election cheating, destabilization plots. Let's pray for our nation. God is great and He is still in control. May God's will be done.

Still awake. Cramming at a rush multimedia presentation project due tomorrow. stil 40% complete. I'm sleepy but need to push myself.

Loved the Emirates Airline tagline: "When was the last time you did something for the first time?"

Today's my first class of the semester. I took three subjects: OT Survey Genesis to Esther, Hermenuetics and Theological Research. I still haven't finished enrolling, just the paying part so I don't have classcards yet. But nevertheless I still came to my OT class taught by Ma'am Marcia Anderson, who is also my adviser. I learned a lot the first class. So cool.

After class I dropped by Central AG to visit Ate Merla who vacationed from Iloilo. They said I gained weight. That's good. After coming from sickness and being portable for a month.

So busy today with work. Now comes the classes. I'm back to the old days.

God Answered Our Prayer!!!

Wow. Last night in our core group meeting we were praying for our coming project called Book of Hope in July. In this project we will team up with some foreign missionaries who will help us in the project. But for weeks we have not got any clear date when the foreign team will arrive, so then our project have no specific dates and planning has been afloat. As we prayed, I prayed for the project and said "Lord, please let us know the definite date of the arrival of the foreign team, the event is already near and we are still short of solid planning our strategies." Without knowing the date of their arrival, we cannot pindown our exact event date, which weeks before we need to get the approval of school heads. And just now, as I checked e-mail (a day after), I got an e-mail saying that the team will be arriving third week of July. I remembered our prayer last night and oh my heart just rejoiced and overflowed with thanksgiving! Truly this event is directed by God, and when we are on God's side, who will go against us? God is so good! Thank you God.

The Tragic Fate of Ducky

After color-coding my dad accompanied me to go to Makati to pick up some materials for some project. I still have a little fever & runny nose. I decided to drop by ASCM to check out the class schedule, so tomorrow I will be enrolling.


Tonight, I caught Land Before Time on the Disney channel. I remembered my childhood days when I watch the movie and even until now it makes me teary-eyed. I researched about the movie on the net and found out a very tragic fate that had happened to one of its voice actors. The 10-year-old girl who provided the voice for Ducky died the same year even before the movie was released in 1988. She was shot to death with her mom by his alcoholic dad. Her dad set their house on fire and shot himself after that. It came as a shock for me not knowing this until now. Ducky was the one who was so thoughtful and playful.

Still got the fever. So bored. I can't even lift weights. Today I'm supposed to enroll my 2nd term in ASCM, but I can't 'cause the doctor wants me to stay home.