My notebook is showing signs that I need to format it soon. Last night I left the notebook to defragment by itself, and when I wake up I find it just 20% defragmented. I wanted to go to CD-R King in Glorietta from school this afternoon, but it closes early around 5:30PM that I couldn't make it. I'm itching to have it formatted. Even the iPod had not been playing this morning and last night because of a corrupt file according to windows. But I managed to fix it. Thank God.
+++
Today I had to wake up at 7:30AM to the repeated wakings of my mom. Hard to get up because someone kept me awake till 2AM :) Came at school at 10AM to work on my last paper for this semester in the library. Traffic is still bad, what's with these days? Chapelled at 11. Didn't realize yesterday was Teachers Day, so we honored the admin, staff and professors with prayer today. I was only able to greet Dr. Ayuk a "Happy Teachers Day." Had lunch with Emmanuel, Van and Ate Marilyn. Returned to library to really finish the paper, as I waited for Jo. They won the NT Drama Contest so they got the cash prized which they spent in Yellow Cab. So I had to wait a little more. But it's all good, 'cause I was able to finish the main content of my paper. We had to kill some time because she had to leave past the coding hours.
The Mind of the Melancholeric Man: Musings on Life and Ministry by Patrick Tan
Corcovado
by Antionio Carlos Jobim (King of Bossanova)
Um cantinho
Um violão
Este amor
Uma canção
Pra fazer feliz
A quem se ama.
Muita calma pra pensar
E ter tempo pra sonhar
Da janela vê-se o Corcovado
O redentor
Que lindo!
Quero a vida sempre assim
Com você perto de mim
Até o apagar
A velha chama.
E eu que era triste
Descrente deste mundo
Ao encontrar você
Eu conheci
o que é felicidade
Meu amor
Quiet nights of quiet stars
Quiet chords from my guitar
Floating on the silence that surrounds us
Quiet thoughts and quiet dreams
Quiet walks by quiet streams
And a window that looks out on Corcovado
Oh how lovely!
This is where I want to be
Here with you so close to me
Until the final flicker of life's ember
I, who was lost and lonely
Believing life was only
A bitter tragic joke have found with you the meaning of existence
Oh my love
by Antionio Carlos Jobim (King of Bossanova)
Um cantinho
Um violão
Este amor
Uma canção
Pra fazer feliz
A quem se ama.
Muita calma pra pensar
E ter tempo pra sonhar
Da janela vê-se o Corcovado
O redentor
Que lindo!
Quero a vida sempre assim
Com você perto de mim
Até o apagar
A velha chama.
E eu que era triste
Descrente deste mundo
Ao encontrar você
Eu conheci
o que é felicidade
Meu amor
Quiet nights of quiet stars
Quiet chords from my guitar
Floating on the silence that surrounds us
Quiet thoughts and quiet dreams
Quiet walks by quiet streams
And a window that looks out on Corcovado
Oh how lovely!
This is where I want to be
Here with you so close to me
Until the final flicker of life's ember
I, who was lost and lonely
Believing life was only
A bitter tragic joke have found with you the meaning of existence
Oh my love
Today, traffic was so bad it was an hour and a half drive to Makati, plus it rained. I met a client San Lorenzo Village. And in their office I met a designer acquaintance who I referred in their company, he's doing great. He's also teaching Multemedia Arts in Benilde. He told me they are looking for more teachers and offered to refer me. I obliged. This may be the break I need from my current company. I really want to quit. Hope it works out. Could this be one of his tricks for me to settle on the good but not the best? My heart is longing to go to full time service but circumstances do not permit.
Today I learned from the office newspaper that the Philippines won the title for Miss International 2005 in Tokyo. Nice.
One hour after I would be teaching drums at church. Traffic was still bad. Arrived in Binondo 30 minutes late. Taught drums. Had dinner with one of my students, Daryl.
Fetched mom in supermarket. So we went home together. Dad is still in the funeral of his childhood friend.
Amazing race back on TV.
Today I learned from the office newspaper that the Philippines won the title for Miss International 2005 in Tokyo. Nice.
One hour after I would be teaching drums at church. Traffic was still bad. Arrived in Binondo 30 minutes late. Taught drums. Had dinner with one of my students, Daryl.
Fetched mom in supermarket. So we went home together. Dad is still in the funeral of his childhood friend.
Amazing race back on TV.
Today I preached at church. First sermon was quite pressured, just like first sermons every Sunday because it's the 'premiere' of your sermon, you get nervous. Second was smooth sailing. Praise God. I brought the tie but I failed to wear it, because I felt conscious about wearing it.. so pastor-like. It might also distract me from the message. In the afternoon we had Worship Class. I was pretty exhausted.
After the class, my family went to SM San Lazaro, parents went shopping at the supermarket. They go there every Sunday afternoon. And because of that, I was not able to control "panic buying". Lawrence, Brznf and I ate pizza at Chef D'Angelo and I bought to CDs from Praise. I thought of buying clothes before that, but I thought it was not really necessary.
Tomorrow, it's back to work. My boss is already looking for me. I'm dead.
After the class, my family went to SM San Lazaro, parents went shopping at the supermarket. They go there every Sunday afternoon. And because of that, I was not able to control "panic buying". Lawrence, Brznf and I ate pizza at Chef D'Angelo and I bought to CDs from Praise. I thought of buying clothes before that, but I thought it was not really necessary.
Tomorrow, it's back to work. My boss is already looking for me. I'm dead.
Woke up 7AM today. Despite sleeping quite late chatting with new "found" friend. I had to finish my sermon and I did. I thought it was quite long that it might not fit in a 45 minute schedule. Anyway, I still have to finalize it. I missed the ball game of Lorenzo Ruiz Academy, I thought it was on one of the court locations, but they changed courts pala. And it was raining, traffic was bad, I hurried to church for cellgroup. Took my discipleship group to Philippine Christian Bookstore. Ate at McDonalds. Then went home. I learned that my youth's team lost. Bummer.
I am sad that things at youth ministry aren't going so good as before. But I guess it's just a season. Lord, help me. But life is good, sooo good :D Can't wait for the next week. I'm preaching tomorrow. I wonder if I would wear the tie the See sisters gave me on my birthday... hmm.
I am sad that things at youth ministry aren't going so good as before. But I guess it's just a season. Lord, help me. But life is good, sooo good :D Can't wait for the next week. I'm preaching tomorrow. I wonder if I would wear the tie the See sisters gave me on my birthday... hmm.
He Reigns!
He Reigns
Newsboys
+ It's the song of the redeemed rising from the African plain | It's the song of the forgiven drowning out the Amazon rain | The song of Asian believers filled with God's holy fire | It's every tribe, every tounge, every nation | A love song born of a grateful choir
+ All God's children singin' "Glory, glory, hallelujah! He reigns, He reigns!"
+ Let it rise above the four winds caught up in the heavenly sound | Let praises echo from the towers of cathedrals to the faithful gathered underground | Of all the songs sung from the dawn of creation, some were meant to persist | Of all the bells rung from a thousand steeples, none rings truer than this
+ All God's children singin' "Glory, glory, hallelujah! He reigns, He reigns!"
+ And all the powers of darkness tremble at what they've just heard | 'Cause all the powers of darkness can't drown out a single word
+ All God's children singin' "Glory, glory, hallelujah! He reigns, He reigns!"
Newsboys
+ It's the song of the redeemed rising from the African plain | It's the song of the forgiven drowning out the Amazon rain | The song of Asian believers filled with God's holy fire | It's every tribe, every tounge, every nation | A love song born of a grateful choir
+ All God's children singin' "Glory, glory, hallelujah! He reigns, He reigns!"
+ Let it rise above the four winds caught up in the heavenly sound | Let praises echo from the towers of cathedrals to the faithful gathered underground | Of all the songs sung from the dawn of creation, some were meant to persist | Of all the bells rung from a thousand steeples, none rings truer than this
+ All God's children singin' "Glory, glory, hallelujah! He reigns, He reigns!"
+ And all the powers of darkness tremble at what they've just heard | 'Cause all the powers of darkness can't drown out a single word
+ All God's children singin' "Glory, glory, hallelujah! He reigns, He reigns!"
Life Stewardship Lessons
My Life Stewardship Lessons:
- Don't live beyond your means
- Never fall into debt
- Don't spend money you do not have
- Learn to be content
- Lend assuming you already gave it away
- Reward yourself for a job well done
- Be generous and invest in people
Redeemer, Saviour, Friend
Redeemer, Saviour, Friend
Darrel Evans
+ I know You had me on your mind | When You climbed up on that hill | For You saw me with eternal eyes | While I was yet in sin | Redeemer Savior Friend
+ Every stripe upon Your battered back | Every thorn that pierced Your brow | Every nail drove deep through guiltless hands | Said that Your love knows no end | Redeemer Savior Friend
+ Redeemer, redeem my heart again | Savior, shelter me from sin | You’re familiar with my weaknesses | Devoted to the end | Redeemer Savior Friend
+ So the grace you poured out on my life | Will return to You in praise | I’ll gladly lay down all my crowns | For the name of which I’m saved | Redeemer Savior Friend
Darrel Evans
+ I know You had me on your mind | When You climbed up on that hill | For You saw me with eternal eyes | While I was yet in sin | Redeemer Savior Friend
+ Every stripe upon Your battered back | Every thorn that pierced Your brow | Every nail drove deep through guiltless hands | Said that Your love knows no end | Redeemer Savior Friend
+ Redeemer, redeem my heart again | Savior, shelter me from sin | You’re familiar with my weaknesses | Devoted to the end | Redeemer Savior Friend
+ So the grace you poured out on my life | Will return to You in praise | I’ll gladly lay down all my crowns | For the name of which I’m saved | Redeemer Savior Friend
Father, Let Me Dedicate
Father, Let Me Dedicate
Lawrence Tuttiett, 1825-1897
Rearranged by Michael W. Smith
+ Father, let me dedicate all this life to Thee | In whatever worldly state Thou wilt have me be | Not from sorrow, pain or care, freedom dare I claim | This alone shall be my prayer: "Glorify Thy name"
+ Can a child presume to choose where or how to live? | Can a father's love refuse all the best to give? | Let my glad heart while it sings Thee in all proclaim | And whate'er the future brings, glorify Thy name
+ Be glorified in me, be glorified!
---
"... But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead."
Paul the Apostle
His letter to the Philippians (3:7-11)
Lawrence Tuttiett, 1825-1897
Rearranged by Michael W. Smith
+ Father, let me dedicate all this life to Thee | In whatever worldly state Thou wilt have me be | Not from sorrow, pain or care, freedom dare I claim | This alone shall be my prayer: "Glorify Thy name"
+ Can a child presume to choose where or how to live? | Can a father's love refuse all the best to give? | Let my glad heart while it sings Thee in all proclaim | And whate'er the future brings, glorify Thy name
+ Be glorified in me, be glorified!
---
"... But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead."
Paul the Apostle
His letter to the Philippians (3:7-11)
Today. I came home from our school retreat. This was the first time I joined the retreat. I was too shy to come last semester. Two days in San Mateo, Rizal. Before this I hesitate to come because I really don't have a group that I can fit into. Though I knew some people, it wouldn't be enough to meet my neediness for attention. So I signed up in a room with the international students. Our room was little Asia.. 3 Burmese, 1 Chinese, 1 Cambodian, 1 Thai and 2 Filipino guys in one room.
The worship sessions are great. They had an acoustic worship going on. Dr. T and Dr. Q, our academic dean and president delivered the word on prophecy. The sessions were held on a second-floor conference hall made of wood. When the students jammed during worship time, the floor would literally shake, I thought it was scary, though I did some jumping myself.
I came to the retreat with questions and burdens I want to give to Him, hoping that He would receive it. And He did. Praise God! He's mercies are new every morning. Though a few questions I am still waiting for an answer. "Lord, should I quit my job?" Lord, when will I meet my partner?"... I tried my best to offer myself to Him, but several thoughts bug my mind. In the end, I forced myself to yield myself to Him. It was hard but necessary. It's breaking a hard rock. I hardly feel anything. I had to rely on His Word. His Word leading an emotionally blind man, I had to listen attentively. I was hoping that someone would share His Word for me. But I received none. I struggled to find an explanation for all of this... Maybe His disciplining me, because I'm not a baby anymore. I'm a grown up man.
Students. I met some good people. Nevertheless, I still feel alienated. Somehow, I thought everyone belongs to some group. Good thing Rey and Emmanuel was there. I also loved this Chinese guy named Clark, since we had something in common, me being a hilaw na Chinese, there was an instant connection. I would try hard to speak Mandarin, and he would talk to me, most of the time I wouldn't understand, so then we speak in English. It was great. It's hard to move around when you don't know the people you are with. "Know" meaning "know" enough to be comfortable with. To me, most of them are just people with names. Somehow I have this feeling that they also wanted to communicate with me. Why do I always put up this wall?
In fairness, I joined the Scrabble Tournament. I look so nerdy. Of all the sports tournaments offered by the retreat, I chose to join the Scrabble Tournament because I don't know the sports. I also had some good conversations with some people, about life and music.
No classes the rest of the week. It's good. I can rest and do my work.
Open the eyes of my heart, Lord. I want to see you.
Knees to the Earth
Christy Nockels
Wonderful Savior, my heart belongs to Thee
I will remember always the blood You shed for me
Wonderful Savior, my heart will know Your Word
So let me embrace You always as I walk this earth
Be blessed, be loved, be lifted high
Be treasured here, be glorified
I owe my life to You, my Lord
Here I am
Beautiful Jesus, how may I bless Your heart?
Knees to the earth, I bow down to everything You are
Beautiful Jesus, You are my only Word
So I will embrace You always as I walk this earth
The worship sessions are great. They had an acoustic worship going on. Dr. T and Dr. Q, our academic dean and president delivered the word on prophecy. The sessions were held on a second-floor conference hall made of wood. When the students jammed during worship time, the floor would literally shake, I thought it was scary, though I did some jumping myself.
I came to the retreat with questions and burdens I want to give to Him, hoping that He would receive it. And He did. Praise God! He's mercies are new every morning. Though a few questions I am still waiting for an answer. "Lord, should I quit my job?" Lord, when will I meet my partner?"... I tried my best to offer myself to Him, but several thoughts bug my mind. In the end, I forced myself to yield myself to Him. It was hard but necessary. It's breaking a hard rock. I hardly feel anything. I had to rely on His Word. His Word leading an emotionally blind man, I had to listen attentively. I was hoping that someone would share His Word for me. But I received none. I struggled to find an explanation for all of this... Maybe His disciplining me, because I'm not a baby anymore. I'm a grown up man.
Students. I met some good people. Nevertheless, I still feel alienated. Somehow, I thought everyone belongs to some group. Good thing Rey and Emmanuel was there. I also loved this Chinese guy named Clark, since we had something in common, me being a hilaw na Chinese, there was an instant connection. I would try hard to speak Mandarin, and he would talk to me, most of the time I wouldn't understand, so then we speak in English. It was great. It's hard to move around when you don't know the people you are with. "Know" meaning "know" enough to be comfortable with. To me, most of them are just people with names. Somehow I have this feeling that they also wanted to communicate with me. Why do I always put up this wall?
In fairness, I joined the Scrabble Tournament. I look so nerdy. Of all the sports tournaments offered by the retreat, I chose to join the Scrabble Tournament because I don't know the sports. I also had some good conversations with some people, about life and music.
No classes the rest of the week. It's good. I can rest and do my work.
Open the eyes of my heart, Lord. I want to see you.
Knees to the Earth
Christy Nockels
Wonderful Savior, my heart belongs to Thee
I will remember always the blood You shed for me
Wonderful Savior, my heart will know Your Word
So let me embrace You always as I walk this earth
Be blessed, be loved, be lifted high
Be treasured here, be glorified
I owe my life to You, my Lord
Here I am
Beautiful Jesus, how may I bless Your heart?
Knees to the earth, I bow down to everything You are
Beautiful Jesus, You are my only Word
So I will embrace You always as I walk this earth
It's 1 day after my birthday. It was Sunday. Same day as before. Had a little headache because the boys went to Starbucks Intramuros until 10PM. So I woke up pretty grumpy, and prepared for church. I'm song leading today and I thought, I would personally dedicate my worship as thanksgiving to God (isn't that ironic?). Mornings are not really my kind of time. So I lead worship. I quoted Psalm 103:1-5 and started with God is the Strength of My Heart in worship, and brokedown in holding tears at the first song. It was pretty embarassing. Moreover when I began singing the upbeat songs, I'm still teary eyed. Now I think of it I smile. But that time, I am so thankful of the abounding grace that God has showered upon my life. Truly His mercies are new every morning.
Still awake. Though I would stay awake later than th. Actually I just had 4 hours of sleep last night I think. I've been delayed in my work schedule right now. Because of too much procrastinating. I don't want to sleep because I have to work. But now I'm not working. I lack organization with my work right now. It seems I don't want to fix my act because I dread looking at my work piles straight in the eye. There are few more things I dread to look straight in the eye, like my self.
I just stayed at home today. After last week my class in Research became consultation time on our preferred schedules. Even tomorrow in Hermeneutics our time will be spent in the library just doing our research work. Sembreak is nearing. Retreat is nearing. Someone left an anonymous critical post for me in the youth blog. May God deal with her.
I have this invitation from my friend to go scuba diving in Batangas. He's proposing to his girlfriend on Friday... underwater. I wanted to go but I hesistate to leave my ministry. I haven't made a move to settle it. 'Cause today, in almost everything, I am becoming more undecided.
Life today is pointless. I don't have anything to say. It seems my world is slowly getting smaller and smaller. I need fresh air. I long for something I lost. My routine has become different just a month ago. What's happening to me? I am so alone right now. Now when I look at it, I have nobody to live my life with. I am invisible. It's perplexing to think that just six months ago I was in high spirit, and now I am back in the dumpster. I do not understand my self, therefore I am growing to hate my self.
I need to see God.
I just stayed at home today. After last week my class in Research became consultation time on our preferred schedules. Even tomorrow in Hermeneutics our time will be spent in the library just doing our research work. Sembreak is nearing. Retreat is nearing. Someone left an anonymous critical post for me in the youth blog. May God deal with her.
I have this invitation from my friend to go scuba diving in Batangas. He's proposing to his girlfriend on Friday... underwater. I wanted to go but I hesistate to leave my ministry. I haven't made a move to settle it. 'Cause today, in almost everything, I am becoming more undecided.
Life today is pointless. I don't have anything to say. It seems my world is slowly getting smaller and smaller. I need fresh air. I long for something I lost. My routine has become different just a month ago. What's happening to me? I am so alone right now. Now when I look at it, I have nobody to live my life with. I am invisible. It's perplexing to think that just six months ago I was in high spirit, and now I am back in the dumpster. I do not understand my self, therefore I am growing to hate my self.
I need to see God.
Daily Miracles
MEDAN, Indonesia - Seconds after takeoff, an Indonesian airliner shook violently, veered to the left and slammed into a bustling neighborhood Monday, bursting into flames and killing at least 147 people - many on the ground.Up to 16 passengers survived the crash, including an 18-month-old shielded by his mother's arms.
Devotion Nuggets
"He who walks in integrity walks securely. But he who perverts his ways will be found out." - Proverbs 10:9
"When pride comes, then comes dishonor. But with the humble is wisdom." - Proverbs 11:2
"Even our tears of repentance need to be washed in the blood of the Lamb." - quoted by Jerry Bridges in The Pursuit of Holiness
"What a strange kind of salvation do they desire that care not for holiness... They would be saved by Christ and yet be out of Christ in a fleshly state... They would have their sins forgiven, not that they may practice their enmity against Him without any fear of punishment." - quoted by Jerry Bridges in The Pursuit of Holiness
"When pride comes, then comes dishonor. But with the humble is wisdom." - Proverbs 11:2
"Even our tears of repentance need to be washed in the blood of the Lamb." - quoted by Jerry Bridges in The Pursuit of Holiness
"What a strange kind of salvation do they desire that care not for holiness... They would be saved by Christ and yet be out of Christ in a fleshly state... They would have their sins forgiven, not that they may practice their enmity against Him without any fear of punishment." - quoted by Jerry Bridges in The Pursuit of Holiness
Letters written to God sit in a sorting room in an Israeli post office in Jerusalem October 2, 2003. Hundreds of letters written to God arrive in Israel each year, most around Jewish holidays, to be read and taken to the Western Wall in Jerusalem. 02 Oct 2003 REUTERS/Gil Cohen Magen
More remarkable images at Reuters.
3AM. My back sags with weariness. I can feel it in my body. Just finished doing some projects. Lots more to do tomorrow. Today I was caught into a mental panic when I focused on my 3-month schedule in school/work/ministry. I'm having adrenaline rush in my brain right now. Looking at my carefully drafted schedule in the notebook even looks tiring already. Too much responsibilities. I thought to myself, 'What have I got myself into...'
To add to that restlessness, I got this idea in my mind of going to Singapore. Earlier this evening, someone at church shared the cheap airfare of Tiger Airways. Though I had already an idea of it, I never thought of going to the Planet Shakers Conference in Kuala Lumpur via Singapore until now. So, at a rough estimate, expenses would cost plus-minus P5000.00 only. If that idea would push through, it would be quite an adventure!
I want to sleep now but I got to wait for this 4MB e-mail to complete its upload.
To add to that restlessness, I got this idea in my mind of going to Singapore. Earlier this evening, someone at church shared the cheap airfare of Tiger Airways. Though I had already an idea of it, I never thought of going to the Planet Shakers Conference in Kuala Lumpur via Singapore until now. So, at a rough estimate, expenses would cost plus-minus P5000.00 only. If that idea would push through, it would be quite an adventure!
I want to sleep now but I got to wait for this 4MB e-mail to complete its upload.
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