Wineskins

(A lament)

Is this all there is?

Is faith not valid?
Faith to cling to an Unseen Force
Unseen but made Himself known
Faith to step out of your foothold
Even you venture into high cliffs of uncertainty
Is faith not valid?

Is love not valid?
Love to see not savings
But a compassion to save the soul
Love compelled to serve
Even washing the filthiest feet
Is love not valid?

Is forgiveness not valid?
Forgiveness that never holds back
Healing scars that deepens our brotherhood
Forgiveness that never closes doors
Even wounds are opened seventy seven times
Is forgiveness not valid?

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Is this all there is of You, O God?
Make Yourself known
That every people will know that You are just
And has never forsaken His people

Throw another shade of light
A light that will make men see
That You are a God who understands
Every thoughts and actions of a man

Lord, in my waking days
May I never sin to Thee
Establish Your kingdom, O God
As You live Your will in me

I believe it is a good week ahead. Thank You.

Yesterday, went to Cartimar to get saltwater for my aquarium. I cleaned my aquarium for 4 hours. It was gruelling carrying pails of saltwater three stories high. Woke up today with soring muscles.

I'll be going to Manila Faith Assembly of God this afternoon. I'll be playing (pinao) for my good friend and mentor Kuya Jess' wedding on Saturday. Time sure flies.

There still lots of stuff to do. Work, school. But I'm just content at this moment. I believe it is a good week ahead. Thank You.

Your Love Is Extravagant

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship intimate
I find I'm moving to the rhythms of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place
Your love is extravagant

Spread wide in the arms of Christ
Is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known
You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again

Love what You're doing in me, Lord
And I'm thankful, Lord
What You're doing in my heart
You're changing me, changing me

Deeper than the deepest ocean
Higher than the highest mountain
Reaches high above the heaven
Still it finds its way to me

And You're patient, Lord
And You're kind to me
Though I'm failing You sometimes
Your love never has failed me

- Darrel Evans

Got to see two movies this evening in cable. 'X-men 2' & 'Panic Room' starring Jodie Foster. Seems like years since the Panic Room was in theaters when it was only two years ago. I like Jodie Foster, also in movies 'Anna and the King' & 'Contact'.

I would like to watch movies in theaters but haven't got time because of schedule. I would like to see 'Alexander' & 'Santa Santita'. Saw in TV they were promoting 'OK Ka Fairy Ko The Movie.' Something in me got excited, somehow it reminisces me of my younger years.

There is an on-going three day sale in a mall today. So wanted to go to the other mall (Robinson's Place) because there are more selections there. But time doesn't permit so instead went to Tutuban where there's a Robinson's Department Store. I got a Guess shirt at 70% discount (it was around 2k in original)- imagine that. Hope I can drop by the mall tomorrow afternoon.

Life of Pi

I just finished reading "Life of Pi" - a novel by Yann Martel. A good book, a must read. Talks about the life of an Indian boy named Pi, his family as they travel across the Pacific with their zoo. Unfortunate fate hit them as their ship capsized leaving Pi, an orangutan, a hyena, a zebra and a Bengal tiger in a lifeboat.

My eyes caught this book many times in the bookstore until I purchased them. I was frustrated by a slow pace in the first part but after that it was mildly engrossing. The end had a surprise twist - left you hanging in thought. A very good story, but I wouldn't credit it to the author, because this was taken from accounts of the real survivor Pi.

I wish someone has read it so I can discuss my thoughts on this book. 

It's 1:35AM. I feel very, very tired now. My body wants to sleep, but my mind still have other things in mind... Just a little blogging...

My schedules had been cramped right now. I'm juggling school, work and church all at the same time. Business has been good, my projects currently counts to five. What a blessing! - Imagining I didn't even looked for them, they just came to me. Just got my fortnight paycheck from by boss. I'm itching to spend it on buying a laptop.. but not yet. These are the better days. Prosperous.

I'm already getting adjusted getting back on being a student. Every Tuesday and Wednesday I go to school and focus on doing requirements. Most of the vacant time is spent in the library, reading, secretly muching and napping. It's cool they got free internet and everyone's browsing on either Yahoo or Friendster.

I experienced this week of what it means to be 'in season & out of season.' This week started rough and its been like this the whole week. Sucks. I am distracted. But school was like an unavoidable force inching its way into my schedule. I have to go and study and connect even when I'm out of season. It was hard. I wish next week would be better.

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Today, I dropped by to my friend's church to pick up some tapes. I'm playing keyboards in his wedding few weeks from now. When I arrived I met one of his youth. And to my shock she was pregnant! I was grieved. She is one of the more active young people in his church. She was still in school and very young.. a surprise twist of life. I felt very concerned for this kid. Before I left, I prayed with her for strength, financial providence and good health.

I felt mixed emotions. I believe that there are no accidents in getting pregnant. I mean, one has come a long way to be pregnant. How can a person not avoid this kind of temptation? But that's that. There's nothing we can do about it. I'm glad that this kid has already accepted the baby - a baby girl. And I pray that this baby will be loved by the people around her.

Today there was a transport strike. I learned about it just after I woke up. I am going to school and meet a client in Makati. I couldn't care less about the strike. I thought there would be those law-abiding drivers who will still take out their jeepneys and earn a day's wage. But as I went out, there was hardly any jeepneys. I did manage to get to where I would like to go. It just took me a while to walk to and from the train station.

It's second week of school. I had a 9:30 class in the morning. Set alarm at 7am, woke up 7am but unconciously fell asleep and woke again at 8am. It was rush time. Don't wanna give a late-comer impression in class, but I'm not really a morning person. So hurriedly I took a shower, put on clothes and run to the LRT station.

The class had just started when I came. Today is Stress and Conflict Management. We were made to sit in a circle and do some 'bonding.' One of my classmate is Kuya Chad Visca, the District Youth Director of STDC.

We took lunch together and we parted ways after that. I went to office in Makati to sign some papers and talk with my boss overseas.

Went back to school. Lounged at the farthest corner in the library and reviewed for my Bible class. Dozed of a little. One hour before class I went up to the prayer room to pray and pour out my heart to God. It was a refresher and He was there. "Get up, take up your mat and go home..."

My class in Romans to Revelation is fun. There's always a new insight to discover; a new fact to be learned. I got to share some insights that got the approval of my professor. I am learning.

He is truly a God who never fails to supply the needs of his people. Now all of my web designing projects is coming to a close, new projects are coming in, three new projects to be exact. I didn't ask for it. It just came in my doorstep. I'm very glad that He never fails to provide for those whose life is used for Him.

First Day of School

It was the first day I went to bible school. I left earlier in the afternoon. I had to go and resume my gym. After almost a month of idleness to go to gym, I finally decided to return and get those muscles pumping. It was refreshing. I'm back on track. Left gym at 3:30PM. Bought a notebook and took the train to bible school.

I came in rather early so I stopped by KFC to have an early dinner. Came in just on time. My classmates were rather an adult bunch which comprised of Indians, Koreans and Filipinos. I was the youngest of the group. A couple of yuppies and the rest were in their 40's above. My professor in Romans to Revelation, Pastor Bagalawis, started to round us off and asked to introduce ourselves. He started on the other side of the room, I was one of the last who would be speaking... my heart was pounding.

It seemed I felt out of place at first. I almost wanted to cry like a lost kid. I am at my early twenties. I am the only one from Assembly of God. I wore teeny clothes. I figured tomorrow, I'll wear more mature clothes to blend in. Maybe I'll get some glasses, besides, I've been whining about how my not-so-good vision is giving me headache.

So there, it was my turn. "My name is Patrick Tan, I'm from Binondo Assembly of God. I'm currently in youth ministry. I'm currently the youth ministry leader. This is my first class in this school." I spoke loudly, as to impress the folks, but still my heart was pounding so hard it could have jumped out across the room.

Then our prof laid out our course outline. Whoa it was overwhelming. Good that I listened to my adviser about taking only few subjects, because one subject alone had so much book reading, assignments and more book reading.

The second half of our class already started our first lesson - Paul's letter to the Romans. It was very insightful, we still haven't got passed chapter one. My professor knows what he is talking about. I'm sure I will learn many many things from him. The class discussion was participated by only a few people, some who have known my professor before. At one time I tried raising my hand to give a comment, but I noticed my hand was half-raised to none at all. I lost the opportunity when someone gave my answer... Well, maybe next time.

We ended early, but it has just started. I would be going home with book readings and assignments.

All in all, the first class was very promising. It would take effort and proper planning in order to smoothly juggle my work, my ministry and now my studies. I am ready to learn.

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The Comforter Has Come

Jars of Clay

O spread the tidings 'round, wherever man is found,
Wherever human hearts and human woes abound;
Let ev'ry Christian tongue proclaim the joyful sound:
The Comforter has come!

The long night is past, the morning breaks at last,
And hushed the dreadful wail and fury of the blast,
As o'er the golden hills the day advances fast!
The Comforter has come!

O boundless love divine! How shall this tongue of mine
To wond’ring mortals tell the matchless grace divine -
That I, a child of hell, should in His image shine!
The Comforter has come!

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