Influencers

Just thought about the people who have influenced me one way or the other ...

Bossa Nova music - Gina Morata

She was my music teacher back in high school Chiang Kai Shek College. I remember everytime I have recital she would choose for me bossa nova pieces to play. First piece I played was "So Nice/Summer Samba". Also played "The Wave" & "Masquerade".

Acid Jazz music - Duke Shih

Duke was our bassist in my band that spanned from 3rd year high school to college. He had a lot of acid jazz selection CDs which played in his car.

Playing instruments - Dad

My dad calls himself a "frustrated combo". Perhaps I come from a musical lineage. My dad taught me to play the guitar on his Stratocaster.

Web design - JP Tantiansu

JP introduced to me the world of web design back in college. He introduced me to Flash, Photoshop, Dreamweaver & HTML. Became part of his design company Eggshell Media.

Youth Ministry - Jess Tomagan

Met Kuya Jess way, way back when I was still a teen. His attitude towards ministry has really inspired me to pursue ministry myself. Am very grateful that he has taught me a lot of things in ministry, family & life. Our relationship had grown from a mentoring relationship to colleages in ministry.

Aquarium hobbying & animals - Dad

My dad loves animals. He would have dogs and cats in our house when I was a kid. I remember as an elementary student he bought me my first 5-gallon green stripped aquarium. It had a hallow blue castle where fish could explore. My favorite fishes then were red swordtails, tiger barbs & red tail black sharks. In high school I ventured into salt-water aquariums. Today I am not keeping any pets because of my lifestyle, but I still enjoy watching them.

Diving - Criz Ah

Criz introduced me to scuba diving in the early 2000s. Together with his siblings we took 9 classes on basic diving. I have a diving license but I have only dove on two occasions: Anilao (Batangas) and Balicasag (Bohol). This is because they would often schedule their trips on weekends.

Handwriting - Mom

My mom is to be credited for my creepily lovely and legible penmanship. I didn't learn it, it was already in the genes. I remember becoming the class secretary one time during high school because of my hand writing and teachers would often task me to write notes on the board for the class to copy.

Bible school - Sur del Rosario

Kuya Sur was the one who encouraged me to enter bible school. The first time I met him was on our district convention in Caliraya in 2003. He challenged me to come to Asian Institute of Youth Studies in APTS Baguio that summer where I received my calling as a minister. I remember later in the program we had this talk in the chapel where he challenged me to pursue ministry and equip myself. So October 2004 I enrolled in ASCM. And by March 2010 I will be graduating.

Still thinking of more influencers ...

Acts 7: Loving in the Fullness

Acts 7:60, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them."

Often times when someone offends us, we hold them accountable before the Lord. I may not take revenge but the desire of his destruction is eating it's way into my heart. First, sin is done to us, then second, we choose if we let sin spring out of our own hearts, unleashing our monsters within. Stephen knew that such indulgence to what seem to be a just thought of retribution will only disqualify him from the race. "Sin is crouching at your door, it desires to have you, but you must master it." "Anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment."

Lord, may I be wise enough not to indulge myself with hate, resentment and bitterness disguising themselves as self-dignifying resolves. My soul, be the one who gives away generously. My you be taken advantage more than you take advantage of others. Follow Stephen, who would not have endured if not for the fullness of God's love and strength. Love not out of your lack in personal capacity to give but out of the fullness of the Love that has been richly lavished upon you. 

Acts 7: Discerning God's Timing

Acts 7:25, "And [Moses] supposed that his brethren understood that God was granting them deliverance through him, but they did not understand."

Many times we disguise our personal agendas as the will of God. Moses knew why he was who he was, where he was--the position and influence: to deliver his brothers from the slavery of Egypt. He knew God had plans for him. Often times we know we are called, yet we are not patient enough as God would want you to be. So we create fleshly means to meet divine goals. We settle for our Hagars than waiting for the son of promise. We go ahead of God. 

Lord, may I be in faithful anticipation of the great unfolding of Your plans in my life. Grant me that I discern Your will--to the smallest detail of what I ought to do and not do. Holy Spirit speak to me. Move through me that I may fulfill my lot.

Acts 7: Lovely in the Sight of God

Acts 7:20, "It was at this time that Moses was born; and he was lovely in the sight of God ..."

This passage is a wonderful assurance that I am loved by God. The Psalmist went on to say that even before I was conceived in my mother's womb, God has already ordained the days of my story. There are times when our search for human love and acceptance seem to be in vain. Be reminded that I am lovely in the sight of God. I am the apple of His eye. Such love that can unconditionally love someone as once evil as Saul. His love is not a product or a reaction. It's immovable yet moving.

Qualities of Table-servants: Acts 6

Acts 6:3, "Therefore, brethren, select from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may put in charge of this task."

The demand focus on prayer and the ministry of the word because of the increasing number of converts led to the rise of Stephen in God's vineyard. Verse three reflects the qualities of a servant leader that one ought to pursue and excel in:

1. Connected - "from among you" - One must be in faithful fellowship in one's community. By "walking slowly through the crowd" as Maxwell puts it, I may be able to not only see, but experience and identify the needs of the people.

2. Team player - "seven men" - One is has to understand that he is not called to rise into rockstardom, but he enlists himself as one of the many. One must be able to get along well with those who pursue the same objective as you are--to serve tables. Much is accomplished when the many is united. Disaster is expected when the many is divided.

3. Integrity & Credibility - "of good reputation" - The virtue of unity of one's character at all times. Integrity surpasses all qualities a servant leader must pursue with priority. Integrity is vital not only as a leader, but as a human being. By walking in integrity, I honor my people and I honor myself. By walking in integrity, I earn the respect of all people, including myself. By walking in integrity, I honor and worship the God who is righteous and holy.

4. Empowered - "full of the Holy Spirit" - What I cannot do and achieve as a natural born leader I can with the anointing and leading of the Holy Spirit. Thus the glory is not mine to revel upon but God's.

5. Wise & Discerning - "of wisdom" - With a leader who is wise in judgment, a nation rejoices and is blessed (Proverbs). Such gift of wisdom and discernment must be sought from the Lord. "He who lacks wisdom must ask ..." (James).

6. Responsible & Dependable - "put in charge" - A responsible and dependable servant is a joy and blessing to his master. A leader ought not to be a talker but one who speaks well of himself by acting upon his God-given task of servanthood. 

My soul, may you be found exceling in such qualities. Follow the example of Stephen, a young man "full of faith and of the Holy Spirit." He who served beyond what was required of him--to serve widows--now being used by God to proclaim the gospel of peace and reconciliation with such boldness and passion for the risen Christ. May the world find you as one bearing the image of God "like the face of an angel" amidst its tribulations and persecutions. Indeed such is the quality of the servant Christ whom all of us ought to pattern our service on.

Independence vs. Dependence

Everyday my sinful nature asserts its superiority by struggling to be independent from God's rule. It entices to once more meet our flesh's cravings and pleasures more than our spirit's. But just as yesterday, today I have to once more put on the armor and battle this unholy desire back to the coffin where it belongs. Such is our total contradiction to the world. The world salutes independence, we strive to kill it. The world looks down on dependence as weak and frail, our weakness makes perfect His power. We strive to devotedly be dependent to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Dependence is a virtue not often pursued but with Christ a daily commitment to renew ourselves of such virtue.

Leviticus 20

Leviticus 20:24 & 26, "I am the Lord your God, who has separated you from the peoples ... Thus you are to be holy to me, for I the Lord, am holy, and I have set you apart from the people to be Mine."

In every law God sets up for the people of Israel, he concludes with "I am the Lord" or "I am the Lord your God." "Do not ... for I am the Lord." "You shall ... I am the Lord your God." Every law rests on the foundation that it is worthy of allegience because:

1. "I am the Lord your God." I have made myself a slave under the authority of Christ. Once my loyalty was to sin and therefore under its rule and judgment. But now the Lord has brought me out of Egypt to be free from it. I shall not be mastered by sin anymore because I am now under the service of the Lord's house.

2. "I have set you apart." One of God's defining character that makes Him worthy of worship and loyal allegience is His holiness. I live now in God-country--a land flowing with milk and honey. My identity is now with Christ. Therefore my identity must be shown in broad daylight through the things I do and do not do, by the words I say and do not say. I am now apart from the world and a-part of His holy army. I am to be an example to the world, a model to follow. "Follow me as I follow Christ." I am set apart so that God may dwell in my camp. That I may become a channel of His blessing and righteousness to the world. 

This is the moment

Just woke up from a very shallow sleep. I'm preparing to go out now to pick up my fiancee at the airport. It's gonna be a long day today: District ministers meeting at nine. Badminton fellowship at two. And carecell at five.

Leviticus 16 & 17

Leviticus 17:11, "For the life of the flesh is in the blood and I have given to you on the altar to make atonement for your souls, for it is the blood by reason of the life that makes atonement."

The Old Testament's law of atonement is so detailed in it's ceremonial process (in Tagalog, mabusisi). Blood and life shed. The offer-er must make atonement for himself before he could make atonement for the people and their objects and places of worship. Three of four animals are slaughtered, one is spared and banished--a lot cast upon it but divinely appointed.

How often times we take for granted the atonement Christ that replaced this ancient process of cleansing oneself to enter God's presence. Today when I sin, I don't come before Him with a bull and a ram to slaughter. I would confess my sins to him and believe that I have once more been forgiven through the blood of Jesus and then go my own way. When I come before the Lord to minister to His people, I don't come to church with a second set of clothes made from a single kind of cloth for His holy ministry. I don't come before Him with a pair of goats, one to slaughter and the other to confess our sins onto it and let it wander off the streets of Chinatown. I come and speak blessings and declare how loving and good our God is and His passionate desire to bless us. Then after we socialize in fellowship. In the process are we losing reverence for His holiness? Indeed today is in an age of grace. 

What Christ has done cannot be justified by these simple words. Bearly. But let this be a reminder to you my soul not to take lightly this freedom that has caused the shedding of a Life. Do not live in careless abandon to sin. But in every thought, word and action examine them in the revealing light of the mind of Christ.

Be holy, steadfast and one-minded

Lord, fill me with Your Spirit, Your wisdom and strength. My soul, struggle and fight for the purity that God has bestowed upon you. Do not anymore lay aside the treasures of His presence. Strengthen your defenses. Die daily like the apostle Paul. Everyday you are engaged in battle for who is the real lord of your body. You cannot escape this battle. Do not let the flesh win and rob you of the joy--that times of refreshing in the presence of God. You know that the unclean will stand between you and Him. Be holy as the Lord is holy. Be steadfast. Be one-minded. You are called to be is son, a man of God He has called you.

Acts 4

Acts 4:7, "By what power, or in what name, have you done this?"

Such arrogance and prideful disposition that the world interrogates the servants of the Most High. The world questions our motives, our intent, our calling, seeing that we are only ordinary men. Indeed we are ordinary men--experiencing an extra-ordinary God. The world marvels and realizes that they had been with Jesus. Lord, my I proclaim Your name with boldness and confidence as one that has been with and is experiencing You. Unashamed. My soul, do God proud. 

Missing Netty

It's almost a week now when Netty went to Thailand for a vacation. Her sister gave it as a Christmas present in the premise that she might not have that "sistah" bonding anymore when we get married. My week was simple. I just did school and work. And every once in a while when she calls from Thailand, feelings of longing would rise, leaving me tearful after conversations because the call time is limited. I miss her. I miss her thoughtfulness and love. Good thing the wait is over. Tomorrow she'll be coming home. Will be picking her up at the airport at 5AM.

The Rush of Things

This morning I woke up with a rush in my heart. I slept with unfinished work. So I quickly opened my computer. Checked e-mails and updates from work. Then it dawned to me, what am I hurrying about? Work life has been like this for the past few days, like I was always running after something, that deadline, that time saver so I could do more. It was the first time again that I conciuosly chose to open my computer first before doing devotion when I could have. There is a temptation saying once again, "You are okay now (spiritually ok) good enough for another long haul of mediocrity." But I don't want this kind of attitude anymore. My flesh wants to stand independent once more, my spirit clings tight in dependence to the Source of all things. Indeed it's a constant battle for who will lead this body of mine.

Leviticus 13 & 14: Leprosy and Sin

Lev 13:46, "He shall remain unclean all the days during which he has the infection, he is unclean. He shall live alone, his dwelling shall be outside the camp."

Leviticus spent two lengthy chapters in dealing with leprosy, from determining symptoms of leprosy to dealing with contaminated objects and dwellings. Such is the prescription for contamination: isolate, banish and ultimately destroy. I can't help but relate this to how God looks at sin. Like leprosy, sin must be isolated, banished and destroyed. How wasteful is the life who bears it's beating. It makes a person unclean and unfit to live in God's camp. For sin can spread and infect/contaminate other parts of the body.

My soul, do not allow sin to work it's way deeper in the spiritual skin that it contaminates the joy and peace of God in your spirit.

But leprosy can be healed. What a great picture God has prescribed for cleansing the poor leprous man: He shall take two turtledoves. One he shall slay (by drowning it), and the other shall live. The live one shall be dipped in the blood of the slain bird. Sprinkle the blood on the man, and set the blood-drenched bird free to the open field. Christ died on our behalf that we may live. Indeed for every atonement of sin a life must be shed. And finally it required the ultimate sacrifice of the God-man Himself to cleanse us once and for all. The Life-giver slain to give life.

My soul, do not take for granted the Life that has been shed so that you may be clean, so that you may live in fellowship of His presence and dwell in the camp.

Devotion: Leviticus 11 & 12

Leviticus 11:44, "For I am the Lord your God. Consecrate yourselves therefore, and be holy, for I am holy."

God has set up statutes and laws that sets his people apart from the world. "You shall not eat ... touch their carcass ... [or] pick up their carcass ... or you will be unclean." "Do not render yourselves detestable (11:43). This is what makes me holy, set apart. Lord, may You continually render Your strength and Your vision that I may refrain from picking up or touching the carcasses of sin. Surround me with Your joy and Your presence that I may not wander, chasing after the pleasures of the world. "I have hidden Your word in my heart that I may not sin against Thee". Instill upon my an intense hate for sin that I would not be found dead with it, but have compassion to those who are enslaved by them.

Acts 3: Times of Refreshing

Acts 3:19, "Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord."

Times of refreshing in the presence of God only comes by repenting and returning to Him. There are times when the spiritual emotionalism wears down and one has to decide for himself to faithfully walk the long, narrow journey to the Promised Land. The moment we step into the common movements of life we are immediately exposed to the fallen nature. We get our feet dirty by the mud of the world. Thus we need our feet washed once more in His presence and let ourselves be refreshed. I have realized that I am a not a strong man independent of Him to keep myself pure daily in my thoughts, words and actions. But I am a weakling, like a child, in constant dependence to the sustenance of my Father.

Acts 3: What I have I give to you

Acts 3:5, "I do not possess silver or gold, but what I do have I give to you."

Poverty's human impulse is to keep what remains of his. But our poverty in Christ moves us to give all that we have. "Blessed are the poor in Spirit. For their's is the kingdom of heaven." We give more because we know the One who sustains and recompenses. Lord teach me not to loathe of the things I am not able to give, but what I have I will share generously and keep not to myself.

Such are the things we have: eternal life, worship ...

Devotion: Leviticus 9 & 10

Leviticus 10:3, "By those who come near Me I will be treated as holy. And before all the people I will be honored."

We see that before Aaron was to become the high priest of Israel, he had to cleanse and atone for his sins by the offerings. He need to do this so that (1) he could make an atonement for the people (9:15) and (2) he could enter the tent of meeting where the presence of the Lord was. As a Christ follower leading followers keeping myself pure and holy--my sins atoned for--is very important before I go on the frontlines of warfare and lead the army. Doing "which He had not commanded" has caused the life of Nadab and Abihu, and would be the devastation of my ministry. We see that as leaders we ought to be a step ahead of our flocks in terms of purity and holy living. "Let not many of you become teachers ... knowing that as such we will incur stricter judgment" (James 3:1).

Devotion: Acts 1

"Wait for what the Father had promised ..."

1. Wait for God's direction, not my own decisions. The disciples waited by "continually devoting themselves to prayer" (14). God is teaching me to wait for the ministry of victory he has prepared for me. I must also be praying continually while waiting.

2. "The Father has promised." His calling indeed never change, does not cease to be in constant fulfillment in me. It's our hopes and faithfulness that always go dim. God is faithful. My soul, be still and know that He is God. You can trust in Him, put your faith in Him because what he has promised He will make to pass in His perfect time.

3. "What" - His anointing, his blessing. He will not bless our plans if it is not according to His perfect will. No eye has seen and no ear has heard what God has prepared for those who love Him." Take comfort in the thought that each day and week of waiting brings you closer to the fulfillment of His promise.

After ASCM Retreat

Friday, February 13, 2009, ASCM 2nd Semester Retreat, Tagaytay City
“Dear Lord, thank you for this time, this opportunity that I can come before you once again. Thank you for your presence. Thank you for your unfailing mercy and grace.

My soul, do not forget this time when once again God has rescued you from your sinful nature, from the chains that has bound you. God has already broken them and set you free. He has given you a new spirit, a new heart. His message to you was to walk with Him, as simple as that. You were expecting some mind-blowing revelation? But simply put, “spend time with me. Walk with me.”

Lord, I don’t want anymore to be barely living this ministry life. I want to live it with passion. Indeed I am a son of God. I am called of God. I am called. I am anointed to preach the good news. Lord, direct my steps. Now that my future is once more brightened by your Marvelous Light.

Lord, teach me Your ways, and I will walk in Your truth. Give me a totally undivided heart that I may fear Your name. Purify my heart, cleanse me Lord I pray. Remove from me all that is standing in the way of Your love.

My soul, remind yourself that nothing, nothing, nothing will separate you from the Love of God.

Lord, let me walk straight towards You and never look back. My soul, never once more tell God that you are better far off if you have continued in your former life. Your God is the Almighty God. He is mighty, nothing is impossible to Him. He will lift you up, when you humble yourself. The Lord never abandons His children. And you are His child, you are precious in His sight.

Walk worthy. Walk worthy according to the calling that has been set before you. God has ordained your steps in His book even before your life has begun. Walk worthy because it is only by grace. You are walking on water by the grace that keeps you from sinking. It is only by grace.

My past will not dictate my future. What happened to me and what I did does not dictate my future. Let it be known to the deepest bowels of hell that I am a child of God. I am a warrior of God. I am not disqualified. I am still on the race. Lord, let me finish this race, by Your strength, by Your cause, I am Yours. I will make You proud Lord.

I am anointed by the Holy Spirit. I am empowered. I am covered by the blood of Jesus and nothing shall harm me. I will be a good husband to my wife. I will be a good and godly father to my children. Lord, preserve me and my family for Your glory. Yours is the glory alone.

Day in the Life: Advance Valentines

1AM. In a few hours I will be off for Tagaytay for our semestral retreat. Past few days have been crazy because I'm involved in the retreat's band so we had to practice regularly. Not to mention the usual work load. It's baffling that since the start of the year or even a few months back I haven't actively sought projects to do, but they come by themselves. Indeed it's a blessing from God, that He faithfully provides. But someone told me this week I had to use my wisdom now in choosing my projects because the past few weeks have been crazy-crazy, I have been missing out on sleep. So this retreat is a welcome time for me to rest and reflect. And I still haven't packed my things yet because I'm procrastinating, blogging. :P

Yesterday, Netty and I had our advance Valentines date because Netty will be off to Bangkok for a hard-earned vacation. It was a simple but a lovely date. I gave her two gifts: a travelling pillow and a bag hook that she really liked. I'm glad she really liked it. We had dinner at the Power Plant and watched "Marley and Me" afterwards.

And then today, Netty surprised me at school. She gave me as a Valentines gift a goody bag of sorts: Ruffles Chips, Ferrero Chocolates, Brownies and Nuts--my favorite snacks, and a bag of multivitamins. It was very touching because it was so well thought of.

Devotion: Following at A Distance

Matthew 26:57, "But Peter followed him at a distance ..." 

At times we are like Peter when Jesus was finally arrested and tried. He followed Jesus only "at a distance." Once a faithful and bold disciple, even at times "foolish" for Christ, now following "at a distance"--avoiding any association with this Christ. "He who desires to follow me must pick up his cross and follow me." 

How many times in our Journey that we lag behind and foolishly choose the securities of the world over the daily life of grace God has generously bestowed upon us. We choose to just follow Christ "at a distance." "At a distance" so to follow Him whenever we want, and escape at the first sign of pressure and life's problems. A follower lacking commitment is not follower at all.

Despite his weaknesses in the most dire time, just as every story of the work of Christ grace upon God's children, Christ restored Peter back on the plow of His field to pick up where he had laid off. May this be true and soon for us who are storming through the world's temptations.

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation." A warning for all of us, none exempted. Only in our constant attachment to Christ--abiding in the Vine--does the Christian walk truly be victorious. 

Life update

It's eleven AM and my date with our YA group was just cancelled because our host was sick. Haven't been life-blogging lately because too loaded with stuff to do. School is nearing its end (March 9-13 is our last week) so paperworks are piling up. Plus I'm part of the band that's playing for our retreat next week. And I'm doing a video for our school's foundation concert the other week. Work is unimaginable. They are piling up because I procrastinate. There are times when I'm really bummed out to do work, but there are times when I would even stay up in the wee hours of the morning working them. Two good things from this experience: I get paid and I lose weight.

Ministry is doing better or balanced. Recently we had a planning session, which are months overdue but thankfully we're getting there, and I was reassigned to head our discipleship and small groups department, a new department created by Pastor Z, and the youth was assigned now to one of our youth leaders. Somehow there's a feeling of loss that I'm "giving away" the post, but I remember Dr. CQ said about this: see it not as getting promoted or demoted but stepping in or stepping out of a role, just changing hats. Could this be His move in preparing me for my future ministry?

Netty and I are doing great. We are in this phase of planning for the wedding and God has been faithful to both of our working hands. I already long for that day when we wouldn't part anymore after every date. It's as if we are already one. Of course there are low times but we work it out. I can't wait to be with her. Can't wait. Go around, see the world, build a life.

That's all for now. Ciao!