Saturday evening. I'm here at our staff annual retreat in the room with Kuya Larry. Punta de Fabian in Antipolo is not as cool as Tagaytay, but the place is very nice, the facilities and all. I bet the price is also "nice." But I'm very thankful that I was able to join this retreat even though I'm just part-time staff. But still they treat me as family (I'm the bunso of the team, since I'm the youngest). On our trip we are joined by the National Book of Hope Team of Taiwan.

This morning we went to Pagsanjan Falls. It's a great place, though I still like Tapiyya Falls of Ifugao better. But I enjoyed the journey to Pagsanjan Falls as canoes take you upstream through wide rivers and narrow rushing rapids. It was all nature, no sign of human creation or desecration, except for small sari-saris here and there. Water is very, very cold and one could see small fishes beneath the surface of the water. The river is walled by two great walls of lush green vegetation with occasional trickling of small falls above. They say above the cliff is Caliraya. When we reached the falls, we took pictures and swam in the rapids. On the way back I tried on rowing the canoe reminiscent of my dragonboat days. Went home tired and slept the whole afternoon 'til evening.

Tonight during our sessions the "newbies" were asked to share a bit of their journey to Book of Hope & APCC (Asia Pacific Campus Challenge is the department I belong). For me it was really unannounced because my name wasn't really on the list on paper. But anyway, so I shared. I didn't realize that I am already here for 6 months. Since November 2005 when I resigned from work until now. God is really faithful, I mean as you journey in time, you can really see how God has made His promises and still doing it, revealing Himself and His work for me and to me progressively. After I spoke I didn't really feel that I got my message completely across, so I figured I will outline it below.

Through this retreat I sensed that I fit in this place (for now. I don't know what God has for me in the future). I am beginning to appreciate the people, and so I am beginning to open up. I met a very interesting girl from Taiwan, she doesn't speak English fluently but her passion for Jesus is amazing. We agreed to continue communicating when she gets back to Taiwan so she could practice her English. In the future, I am looking at the possibility of working full-time. But for now, I need to finish my studies, if the Lord wills.

Time to sleep. We have service tomorrow.



My Journey to Book of Hope

2003.12
- AG Philippines General Assembly in Caliraya, Laguna. I was introduced to Kuya Sur and he invited me to join Asian Institute for Youth Studies in April 2004
- In 2003 I was also professionally working on Hopenet.net website for APCC.

2004.03
- Graduated in UST with a Bachelor of Science in Architecture. Dilemma to work between secular and ministry began. Began to pray.

2004.04
- First contact with Ate Beth for student arrangements for AIYS through phone, text & e-mails.
- Went up to APTS for AIYS 2004. Got to know Kuya Sur better, challenging me in the ministry.
- Met Kuya Ty & Ate Cina Silva, the directors of BOH-APCC.
- Prayer answered through word of the Lord from one of classmates.

2004.06
- Inquired and began to enroll in ASCM but denied because of late application.

2004.10
- First semester in ASCM.

2005.04
- Mission trip to Badjaos in Bataraza, Palawan with Pastor Joedy and Good News Christian Fellowship of Dagupan City. Made a lasting impression to the leadership of BFGFC youth.

2005.05
- Began preparation for Book of Hope distribution in Filipino-Chinese schools of Manila with Ate Angie Tud.
- National Youth Congress in Iloilo City.

2005.06
- Second semester in ASCM.
- 5 out of more than 15 schools were approved in Book of Hope distribution.

2005.07
- Volunteered in Book of Hope distribution for Gospel Church of Manila in Jose Abad Santos High School. My first Book of Hope presentation in classroom.
- Book of Hope distribution in Metropolitan Nursing College, Hope Christian High School, Sun Yat Sen High School, Manila Patriotic Academy, and Jin Nan Institute with Affect Destiny Team from Las Vegas.
- Book of Hope distribution in Tondo High School.
- Hopefest and weekly student fellowship held at church but short-lived.

2005.10
- Invited to speak for Chi Alpha Campus Ministries of Compostella Valley in Davao City.
- Finally after much hesitation, I finally quit my job in Vignettes for Training as one of the last pioneer designers (2002) in the company.
- Third semester in ASCM (the loss of job, emotional stress and school work brought together an all-time low in me).

2005.11
- Called Kuya Jerry Balbuena to inquire for job openings in Book of Hope. But Ty and Cina are not in Manila.
- Two weeks after, as I am about to ask Kuya Jerry to cancel interview for other job options, the Silvas arrive and scheduled me for interview.
- November 21, Monday officially started work in APCC.

2006.05
- 6th month in APCC.
- Currenly working on Hope Education Foundation text books for Swaziland on literacy and AIDS awareness program.

Things I rave about this May: Almost every week I'm going away. Today after lunch I'm off to Antipolo and Pagsanjan for our staff retreat in Book of Hope. Next two weeks I'm off to Cebu for the National Youth Congress of AG. Week after that I'm going to Ifugao to do missions with Kuya Alvin and Ate Angie. These are the good days. I thought this year would be boring but it's all good. What's cool about this is that it's not totally a vacation as in lie down, eat drink and be merry, but I'm still doing part of ministry to my Lord. How cool is that. Too bad I'm missing this Saturday's Carecell party, we've just had new staff and I believe something good is up in their sleeves. God is good.

I also anticipating the Da Vinci Code, too bad I'm gonna see it after I got back from Ifugao.

Watched the primier of Pinoy Big Brother Teen Edition. The housemates looks promising. Except that as always ABS ruins the reality of things by its scripted speils, stuff which needs to be left as natural. But as a minister to the youth, this took a particular interest in me as this show is an enclosed case study of different personalities and qualities of young people. As I watched the show, there has been stirring in my heart that truly the youth is the hope of our future.

Had an open forum in our youth group tonight. One thing I reestablished myself tonight: Burdens get lighter ones you share it.

Another day in the life of me. In a few minutes I'll be leaving for a meeting with a representative from Word of Hope for our second All-out Praise and Worship happening on May 28. After that at 1PM, Celebrity Sports Complex for semi-finals of our sectional basketball tournament. at 4PM, Youth Carecell.

Thank God he has given me opportunity to travel this summer. In May, I'm off to Cebu for our National Youth Conference. I'm planning to head there early so that I could spend some time visiting some tourist sites and also visit our former senior pastor in Immanuel Bible College. Perhaps I could go to the beach (yey!), if the Lord is willing. And the next week after that Ifugao naman ulit!!! Yeah! I'll be joining Ptr. Alvin in a mission trip in Kiangan. It's amazing, because I didn't really plan for this, but still, He provides.

But for now, off to the meeting.

The Lord is my Ebenezer! (God is my helper)

Discontent

I don't want to be a person who just happened to be an avid fan of Christian songs
I don't want to be a person who just happened to be a jack of all trades
I don't want to be a person who just happened to be raised on empty religiosity
I don't want to be a person who just happened to be cowardly peaceful toward others

I don't want to be a person who just happened .
I have a calculated purpose, divine at that.

I want to be someone beyond the perceived norm
I want to be a genuinely real, upright and blameless
before Him and Him alone
So I prostrate in humble gratitude, grateful humility

To make a difference just as He made a difference
No matter how small, as long as it matters to Him
Lord, that's what I want to be
From glory to glory change me that I may share Your suffering and glory

Back in office now. Noon. I went back home (1 hour away) to get my external hard disk where my projects for the office are saved. What a waste of precious time! Lately I'm noticing I'm experiencing minor memory loss. I forget this and that, it's weird. Perhaps it's because of stress or too much thinking. Anyway, driving at noon is suicide. Sun is sweltering, blistering whatever you wanna call it, basta ang ineet! Car airconditioning no use, just opened car windows then it went cooler. Going back, stopped at Fruit Magic for watermelon shake pero wala. So got a large strawberry shake and grilled chicken wrap for lunch. I deserve this.

I'm so sleepy na. Have to wake up tomorrow early to get to work. I'm doing 4-day work week this summer. I need to get some exercise now. Tummy is getting healthy and healthier. Perhaps badminton queueing next week.

Thank You God! You are so good!

Been reading this guy's blog. Talk about so pysched Jesus Christ! Astig (I was gonna say 'idol').

"If the Lord had not cut short those days, no one would survive (the world). But for the sake of the elect, whom he has chosen, he has shortened them." Mark 13:20

I just remembered this passage shared by our retreat speaker Ptr. Dimla about how God is cutting short the days of man and that His return is near. True enough, these days are passing like minutes. I remember I just got out of bible school, and now it's mid-vacation, I'll be enrolling again soon. That's scary as in freaky. Days are moving so fast. Next time you never know it's Christmas again(! I like Christmas.) Then it's 2007 and I'm a year older. The passage says that it is for the sake of the elect (Jesus freaks; his chosen people) God is cutting short our days because if not the growing evil in the world will swallow us whole.

Lord, teach us to number our days.

Love Bade Me Welcome

Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back,
Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-ey'd Love, observing me grow slack
From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning
If I lack'd anything.

"A guest," I answer'd, "worthy to be here";
Love said, "You shall be he."
"I, the unkind, the ungrateful? ah my dear,
I cannot look on thee."
Love took my hand and smiling did reply,
"Who made the eyes but I?"

"Truth, Lord, but I have marr'd them; let my shame
Go where it doth deserve."
"And know you not," says Love, "who bore the blame?"
"My dear, then I will serve."
"You must sit down," says Love, "and taste my meat."
So I did sit and eat.


- George Herbert (1593-1633)

Been wanting to get this book for some time now. This got out when the Narnia fever started. Today in National Bookstore as I was about to pay for the book, the cashier told me it's for half the price (50%). It was an unexpected surprise (kaya nga surprise e). So I got to get two more books: "Anyone Can Lead: Guidelines for Leading Outreach Bible Studies" & "Cross Currents: The Story of the Muslim and Christian Encounter in the Philippines" both from OMF Literature. OMF rocks!

He Is Not Here.

A photo essay.

It's Ressurection Sunday. Easter service this morning was ok. I led worship. It's amazing when you're in front of the pulpit, a private viewpoint to our congregation. Some are passionately worshipping, others with arms crossed are just mere spectators. I would try to stare longer on people who were not participating in worship. And then it becomes a who-stares-the-longest game. Of course, I have to be a worshipper myself. Didn't achieve that 100%. I had things going on on my head. Thoughts of frustration, helplessness, guilt and loneliness. For me, for my ministry and for the church. Going to retreat before Sunday was a refresher, because I was able to talk to our pastor's wife, exchanging encouragements and affirmations. Also, at one night we had an extended worship as a youth group after the evening session. We all needed that. But after those, I'm left with the question "why?" "What for?" I feel I am lost of purpose of doing such things. Perhaps not losing purpose but I feel that no matter how much I turn things around and before, things aren't gonna change much around here. We had a huge rock sitting on our way. But I must be encouraged. I don't want to let the bad melancholy in me win.

Lord, let Your rain fall down on us.

I am delusional
Boxed in a room of dysfunction
It's a man for himself
A conspiracy to survival

Looking out the window, hoping
Towards bright horizon
May You come so quickly
And sweep us away

What A Day!

What a day it was today! Just got home driving from Fairview a.k.a. "a very far place." Lot's of things happened today. I feel I'm under attack here. First I got a distrubing message in the morning. My car was towed at noon, caused me to pay up P1,500 to redeem the car. In the evening I drove back to a concrete wall causing the bumper to have serious scratches. I bet I'm going to experience a serious nagging tomorrow for the scratched car. All these because I've been trying to get back on track with my devotionals. At least I know I'm on the right track back. It's amazing how the enemy will do everything to distract you away from Him. But thanks to the devotional time this morning, I got home just before what's left of my sanity totally snatched away.

"No one understands as well as He your peculiarities of character. He is watching over you, and if you are willing to be guided by Him, He will throw around you influences for good that will enable you to accomplish all His will for you."

- Messages to Young People
Ellen O. White, ca 1930

Took this pic of a car in traffic while driving off to work yesterday along EDSA... hehe..

Devotions

• Thank You, Lord, that You have prepared an inheritance for us. Thank You that You are our highest reward.
• Thank You that You lead us out of our comfort zones even it would mean bringing us through momentary pain and suffering so that we would become more like You. Lord, make me more like You.
• Thank You, Lord, that You are merciful and full of compassion.
• Thank You that You have the power to change my life.
• Lord, thank You that you give us rest after a victorious battle.
• Thank You that Your word promises that "not one of the good promises which the Lord had made to Israel has failed; all came to pass."
• Thank You because You are our City of Refuge in times when we unintentionally 'kill' someone. Thank You for Your mercy.
• Thank You, Lord, because You put spiritual monuments in my life that reminds of Your faithfulness and love so that I can return in times of disorientation and confusion.
• Thank You because You are the God of unity that causes my heart to live in unity with my brothers.

"No weapon that is formed against you will prosper. And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn - This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their vindication is from Me," declares the Lord. (Isaiah 54:17)

"The weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses." (2 Corinthians 10:4)

Spent this morning running our sectional basketball event. Even with minor hassles at the start, the games for today ended pretty good. I had minor sunburns because their was no roof and we stayed until 1PM.

So Sick

by Ne-yo

Gotta change my answering machine now that I'm alone | 'Cause right now it says that we can't come to the phone | And I know it makes no sense 'cause you walked out the door | But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore

It's ridiculous | It's been months and for some reason I just can't get over us | And I'm stronger than this | Enough is enough | No more walkin' round with my head down | I'm so over being blue cryin' over you

[+] And I'm so sick of love songs | So tired of tears | So done with wishing you were still here | Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow | So why can't I turn off the radio?

Gotta fix that calendar I have | That's marked July 15th | Because since there's no more you
there's no more anniversary | I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you and your memory | And how every song reminds me of what used to be

Your true color is Brown! What's Your True Color?

You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

Went today at our school's graduation ceremonies. Some of my classmates have already graduated. Woke up 8:30AM, prepared to go to school, because I STILL have the last paper to submit. And I did a ministry project for one of my professors. But, while waiting for the shower to be free, I lied down and read for a while and went asleep. Next time I woke up it was 1:30PM! That was bad. I arrived at school at 4PM. The graduates are already lined-up for march. The following hours were humbling, as I am in the presence of graduates and distiguished guests. They had this alumni of the year who was recognized for his faithfulness to the Lord after graduating in ASCM. I thought, could I step up to that kind of challenge/responsibility? The special guest speaker's message was nailed straight to my heart. To sum it up, he shared, "Life is too short to play it safe."

After graduation, we went for dinner in G4. Went to the guys' dorm and watched a movie. Got home 1PM.