Heart-Connect-Trust-Follow: People will not follow a leader they do not trust. People cannot trust a leader they can't connect with. And people can't connect with a leader with whom they can't find their heart. - Dan Reiland
So simple and true yet we often find ourselves disconnected in one of them ...
Entire article here:
"Connection – It's a Heart Thing"
by Dan Reiland
I've taught this simple four word sequence for many years, and when I finish my long, long overdue book on "Full Circle Leadership", this idea will be included. So here it is: Heart – Connect – Trust – Follow. This sequence of four words is so basic to understanding leadership that I often ask the group I'm teaching to memorize it in the moment, and then spend the rest of their leadership life practicing it.
Let me say the sequence in reverse, you'll catch the impact quickly this way. People will not follow a leader they do not trust. People cannot trust a leader they can't connect with. And people can't connect with a leader with whom they can't find their heart.
Practicing leadership is not a mechanical thing, it's more artful and intuitive in nature. But it does involve sequence. The components of leadership are connected, not random. They involve patterns, and if you understand these patterns, you will lead so much more effectively. When you miss these patterns, much about leadership can seem like a puzzle to you. Almost as if there is no rhyme or reason to what happens as you lead.
For example, I was talking with a pastor who was telling me about his capital stewardship campaign. It was a disaster. He wisely didn't blame it on the economy. The current state of our country's economy can explain a drop in giving, but not a complete disaster. He did say, however, "I did it exactly like I did last time and last time it worked great." We talked further and I discovered that while he did the mechanical parts the same, he missed the elements of change in his church, and therefore violated some basic patterns and leadership sequence.
Let's take this following case study and walk through the four elements in the sequence I've given you. (I'm actually combining the stories of three churches to respect and protect their identities.)
• Heart
The first capital campaign was three years ago and they are in their new building now. The church grew from nearly 400 people to almost 800 since the move-in about a year and a half ago. The giving was coming in strong so they were able to design and build during the first half of the campaign. They are in a beautiful new building and obviously experiencing great growth.
They also have for the first time, sizeable debt, and a lot of new people. About half of the people are new to Christianity and church in general and about half the people came from other churches and church backgrounds. That's the quick scenario.
Now to heart. At the size the church was, about 400, the pastor personally knew everyone. They also knew him and knew his heart. The pastor led with a relational emphasis. This required time with people so that his heart would be known. That's the key to heart – being known. All leadership begins at a heart level. Don't let leading from the heart be a mysterious thing. Leading from the heart is nothing more complicated than being yourself. It's about being real, it's about being authentic, it's about being the person God created you to be, nothing more and nothing less. Again, being known for the real you.
The mistake the pastor made was assuming the new people knew his heart and would follow. He assumed that because the church of 400 loved and followed him, that the church of 800 would do the same. They didn't. The pledges came in meager at best and there was dissention about the debt as well as the over all direction the church was headed. The mistake was leading a campaign from a notebook, not the heart! The notebook is important, but not enough. The leaders did all the same things, but from a mechanical level, not from an authentic place of being real and revealing heart.
• Connect
Without the people sensing that the pastor was leading from the heart they couldn't connect with him. When I say "people" I'm referring to both the original and the new group. You might think the original 400 would remain connected, and a good number did, but these loyalists weren't enough. The pastor made another mistake. He forgot to help the remainder of the "400" (the majority) transition and adapt to the new level of accessibility he had with them. Which of course was much less that it was now that the congregation was almost double in size. The pastor wasn't able to spend as much time with the people or pay as much attention to them individually, so they began to feel like they were losing his heart, almost like they didn't know him anymore.
The pastor didn't do anything wrong, but he did make a big mistake in leadership. As a leader, you must always remember that people relate to you and your church at the size it was when they first began to attend. So the 400 still relate to the church as if it's 400 and expect to relate to the pastor in the same way. The problem is, that can't be done. The pastor loved the people just as much as ever, original and new people, they didn't feel it and therefore the connection was breaking down.
Creating a successful transition isn't easy and you can never make everyone happy, but you must cast vision for how the change (from growth) will affect the people and overall feel of the church. Talk to them about change, let them know the reality of change. Be honest, let them see your heart. Let them know how it affects you personally. This will greatly enhance the people's ability to gain and regain a high level of connection with you.
• Trust
The bottom-line reality is that leadership is about trust. People will not follow people they do not trust. For some, it's based on the facts they have. They don't trust you because of what they know. But for many, they don't have or need facts. This is not an issue of ignorance, its human nature. People trust their instincts. They give and revoke their trust based on what they feel or perceive.
The new people in the church based their opinion on the pastor with a lack of information. They were too new to know him, so they based their opinions on a few sermons and perhaps a hello or two out in the lobby. Otherwise, they see a pastor who is asking for a tithe, an offering, missions support and now building money. And not just building money, but big building money! This proved to be a recipe for disaster for his leadership and the capital campaign.
For this very reason, even pastors of mega-churches will have what some call "vision chats". They literally huddle dozens of times in living rooms, club houses etc. with 30-40 people at a time. It's a grueling schedule. The point is simply to communicate from the heart, and connect in an informal environment so the people can get close enough to begin to develop trust. It's not a complicated formula, but if you ignore it, problems loom. It's amazing what a cup of coffee, dessert, and open and honest questions and answers will do.
The original group of people in the church (the "400") needed something like this as well. They were experiencing the loss of their pastor, at least in the way they knew him. He really hadn't changed or stopped loving them, but his leadership required him to lead from a different place. This is a good thing, but he failed to help the people adjust to that new place. This breaks trust.
Follow
The conclusion has already been inferred. If the people can't see your heart, they can't connect. If they can't connect, they won't trust you, and if they don't trust you, they simply will not follow you.
The people may attend your church for awhile, but that doesn't mean they've bought in and are following. It's not until you make a challenge, or make an ask, that you discover the difference between who is following and who is merely checking things out – and perhaps just waiting to get a glimpse of your heart.
Leadership is more complicated than these four words, but these four words are a great foundation for you to build upon. Remember that once people are following you, that doesn't mean you can at anytime close off your heart, stop connecting, and obviously you can't allow trust to be broken without losing followers.
So whether you are a rookie or a veteran, heed these four words! Heart, Connect, Trust and Follow.