Definitions in Daily Life: Irony

After church we stopped in downtown Caloocan for an early dinner at KFC. Beside our table were a 40-something woman with a kid and a 80-something feeble old man. From their conversation I suppose that they are father and daughter. As we begin to eat, the daughter says to the old man, "Pa, magsisimba lang ako, dito ka lang 'wag kang aalis (Pa, I'm going to church, just sit here and don't go anywhere" something like that. Then as she goes out of the door she "entrusts" the old man to the guard to look after him while she catches the evening mass, like how you leave your stuff to the bag/stuff depot when you go to the supermarket. The poor man just sits there, slowly finishing what's left of his spaghetti. As we finish a hefty bucket meal and leave, the "pious" daughter is yet to return. Sad. I was like, I wouldn't do that to my parents and my children will not do this to me.

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." ~ Yahweh (Exodus 20:12)

"If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." ~ Paul of Tarsus (1 Timothy 5:8)

Leadership Gold by John Maxwell

My next reading is the latest from John Maxwel

l called Leadership Gold: Lesson's I've learned from a lifetime of leading. Reading the introduction, pareng John (close?) wrote this book with the premise that he will only write it once he reached 60 (tanda na pala niya). Indeed there's always something to be learned from grey hairs. I've seen this around the bookstores and despite my mild reservations of Maxwell books (because sometimes or lately (?) most of his latest books that I encounter are recycled/"paraphrased" from previous ones). But once in a while you encounter a good find from his line-ups. I think this one is one of them (last one I read from him was The 360 leader which is really good).

Check-out the Table of Contents:

(Unsolicited comments in parenthesis is mine)

1. If It's Lonely at the Top, You're Not Doing Something Right (True! This really caught my attention that's why I bought the book. It's so true, before I use to believe and conclude that "it's lonely at the top" but really it should not be. Thank God for this relevation :)
   
2. The Toughest Person to Lead Is Always Yourself (Second thing to catch my attention. It's also so true)
   
3. Defining Moments Define Your Leadership
   
4. When You Get Kicked in the Rear, You Know You're out in Front
   
5. Never Work a Day in Your Life (Good mantra)
   
6. The Best Leaders Are Listeners (True)
   
7. Get in the Zone and Stay There
   
8. A Leader's First Responsibility Is to Define Reality
   
9. To See How the Leader Is Doing, Look at the People (Yes, yes, yes!)
   
10. Don't Send Your Ducks to Eagle School
    
11. Keep Your Mind on the Main Thing
    
12. Your Biggest Mistake Is Not Asking What Mistake You're Making
    
13. Don't Manage Your Time--Manage Your Life (Whoa!)
    
14. Keep Learning to Keep Leading
    
15. Leaders Distinguish Themselves During Tough Times
    
16. People Quit People, Not Companies (Whoa moment there)
    
17. Experience Is Not the Best Teacher
    
18. The Secret to a Good Meeting Is the Meeting Before the Meeting
    
19. Be a Connector, Not Just A Climber
    
20. The Choices You Make, Make You
    
21. Influence Should Be Loaned but Never Given
    
22. For Everything You Gane, You Give Up Something
    
23. Those Who Start the Journey with You Seldom Finish with You
    

St. Patrick's Breastplate

Shared this prayer to my cellgroup this evening. A prayer that reminds us that He is always with us, never even a moment that He lost track of us. So there's no reason to fear and be discouraged.

I arise today

Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,

Through the belief in the threeness,

Through the confession of the oneness

Of the Creator of Creation.

I arise today

Through the strength of Christ's birth with his baptism,

Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,

Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension,

Through the strength of his descent for the Judgment Day.

I arise today

Through the strength of the love of Cherubim,

In obedience of angels,

In the service of archangels,

In hope of resurrection to meet with reward,

In prayers of patriarchs,

In predictions of prophets,

In preaching of apostles,

In faith of confessors,

In innocence of holy virgins,

In deeds of righteous men.

I arise today

Through the strength of heaven:

Light of sun,

Radiance of moon,

Splendor of fire,

Speed of lightning,

Swiftness of wind,

Depth of sea,

Stability of earth,

Firmness of rock.

I arise today

Through God's strength to pilot me:

God's might to uphold me,

God's wisdom to guide me,

God's eye to look before me,

God's ear to hear me,

God's word to speak for me,

God's hand to guard me,

God's way to lie before me,

God's shield to protect me,

God's host to save me

From snares of demons,

From temptations of vices,

From everyone who shall wish me ill,

Afar and anear,

Alone and in multitude.

I summon today all these powers between me and those evils,

Against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my body and soul,

Against incantations of false prophets,

Against black laws of pagandom

Against false laws of heretics,

Against craft of idolatry,

Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,

Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul.

Christ to shield me today

Against poison, against burning,

Against drowning, against wounding,

So that there may come to me abundance of reward.

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,

Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ on my right, Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,

Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,

Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,

Christ in every eye that sees me,

Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today

Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,

Through belief in the threeness,

Through confession of the oneness,

Of the Creator of Creation.

Thoughts about Ministry

Currently working on projects. At the same time a rush of thoughts and ramblings on my mind.

Full-time ministry. Is there such thing as a full-time ministry? Forgive the question. Or to make it clearer, which is better, full-time ministry or tent-making ministry? I've been faced with this question with the recent events in my personal ministry life and while reading Reimagining Church.

RC talks about the absence of full-time ministry in the NT church. (I'm just rambling now to myself, these are my personal opinions and I do not nullify both spectrum of ministry). Indeed when you think about it, Paul was a tent-maker, Peter and John were fishermen. I think it's just that during their time, there's no such thing as "church ministry". Ministry was their daily life. Their work (as well as their Sunday) was ministry, ministry in an image rarely known or acknowledged by us--because we see ministry as something done in the church, by the church and for the church. In their time there was no line between the church and secular, their form of ministry was seamless, it was their daily life. Their daily life was their community of faith--and even the term "community of faith" is so much different from what we have right now. They minister to the community of faith even outside of what we would call "church" (the common misunderstanding of church as a weekly spiritual and social club). I'm ranting now.

I came to this rambling because for the past few days my weeks have serious pockets of vacuum, because of semestral break. But I'm thinking, what happens when seminary life is behind me. What will a full-time ministry look like? I am content with what I'm doing right now, being part of and ministering to a community of faith. But what does the rest of the week leave me to do? "Church" administration, planning, visitation etc.? I think no minister should work alone, in fact, this is the task of the community of faith. This is not a false rant of ministerial laziness but a picture of what my role in the community of faith should be (In fact, when I said that I was bummed out these sembreak days, I do have a lot to do at work, but somehow there was this desire to do "ministry"). Perhaps I'm on a bias for "part-time" ministry right now because my exposure to the image of full-time in my environment is not what I believe to be the optimal usage of time and resources.

Let me quote Frank Viola of RC if it makes any connection: “Since the [pastor or a handful of leaders carry] the spiritual workload, the majority of the church becomes passive, lazy self-seeking (“feed me”), and arrested in their spiritual development … God never called anyone to bear the heavy burden of ministering to the needs of the church by himself … [Yet] the masses continue to rely on, defend, and insist upon [this kind of system]. For this reason, the [congregation] is just as responsible for the problem of clericalism as is the clergy."

"If the truth be told, many Christians prefer the convenience of paying someone to shoulder the responsibility for ministry and shepherding. In their minds, it's better to hire a religious specialist to tend to the needs of God's people than to bother themselves with the self-emptying demands of servanthood and pastoral care." (Frank Viola)

Also heard in an interview of Brian McLaren in Neue Podcast. This is how I understood what he said. That there is a danger in the "professional" clergy ministry because it's can be a potential ground for hypocrisy and lack of spiritual accountability to God and the body.

These authors can easily be misunderstood as people who move to the other extreme of the pendulum (I wish they would've kept a clearer picture of balance). They could misunderstood to be too idealistic. I could be misunderstood also, like I said perhaps this would be a reaction "from where I'm coming from" (from what I'm exposed to) and not necessarily from other points of view. In all things, there should be balance. If we as ministers could do our best to paint an image of what true ministry should look like--servanthood, humility, care and maturity among other things (as opposed to what positional leadership entails), we can secure His flock (they were never ours) from disillusion towards ministry and breaking away from the faith community.

Just thinking and rambling aloud.

To think of it, it doesn't really matter if we are called to full-time or "part-time" ministry. In fact, They are just labels that further divides the body of Christ. Regardless of our calling, all of us are called to be connected and intimately involved--serving and being served--by the community of faith. And that whichever and wherever God leads us, let's do our best to be true and faithful to which he was called us to do.

TV Time: Anak, Bato sa Buhangin

Was able to catch "Anak" by Vilma Santos on CinemaOne. I enjoy watching old movies that I like. And Anak is one of them. I think it's part of Vilma's "womanhood" trilogy, with "Bata-bata paano ka ginawa" and "Dekada '70". I also love "Dekada '70" for the superb acting of Christopher de Leon and Vilma Santos.

One of the soundtrack in Anak is "Bato sa Buhangin" popularized by Cinderella during the 70s. I also like listening to 70s OPM.

Kapag ang puso'y natutong magmahal

Bawat tibok ay may kulay at buhay

Ngunit kung ang pagsuyo'y lilipas din

Bagay kaya ang bato sa buhangin

Kay hirap unawain bawat damdamin

Ang pangakong magmahal hanggang libing

Sa langit may tagpuan din at doon hihintayin

Itong bato sa buhangin

The Hard-Beaten Path

Sometime today I thought what a burden a pastor/shepherd carries when his flock turns against him, when they criticize him, it's almost unbearable, unfruitful and can even be deadly. I fear for the time when it's my turn, whether would I be able to handle it with grace and finish the race. Suddenly I had this desire that the Lord would take me or that He would come already. A hard-beaten path we have chosen, but there's assurance that at the end of that road He waits for His hard-beaten warrior, falling at His feet, weary to the point of death but nevertheless remained faithful to the end.

"For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." ~ Paul of Tarsus (2Ti 4:6-8)

I feel better now.

The Long and Winding Road

Had an "emo" moment this afternoon (I'll write about it on my next post), then this song plays on the radio. 

VERSE

The long and winding road that leads to your door will never disappear

I've seen that road before

It always leads me here

Lead me to you door

VERSE 2

The wild and windy night that the rain washed away has left a pool of tears

Crying for the day

Why leave me standing here

Let me know the way

CHORUS

Many times I've been alone

And many times I've cried

Anyway you'll never know

The many ways I've tried

But still they lead me back

To the long winding road

You left me standing here

A long long time ago

Dont leave me waiting here

Lead me to your door

Day in the Life: Carecell Day

Today was a bit tiring (What's new?) But very fulfilling. I had to wake up early today for the district ministers meeting at Word of Hope. The meeting was held on their new auditorium in a new building just beside the new building. Truly they are blessed. And a treat when Dr. Dave Sobrepena encouraged us with the word on vision. Contrary to the rumors and comments about him and the church, I mean you have to give them credit for taking the church a long way to becoming one of the biggest churches in the metropolis. He should be doing something good. God bless him.

After the meeting it was along journey to Binondo as I took what seemed to be short-cuts but I thought it took me longer time to arrive at my destination. I like doing that for the variety of it. When I arrived at Binondo, went to Starbucks to pass time by continuing my reading on Reimaging Church. Some how past half way through the book, things are taking a drastic turn of opinion as I feel that the concept he is arguing and the "established norm" (for lack of a better term for it) he is trying to contradict is a bit purist. I feel that there is no black and white here, no 100% right and 100% wrong. Balance is needed.

An hour before our youth Doris came for me as I told her that I was there, and we went to church together. We had everything laid out but at five there weren't any youth in our cell except to old-timers. Despite feeling down, it was a divine guidance that we just started to be spontaneous and sing songs of praise until the presence of the Lord was intense and four of us began to sing new songs and spoke in tongues. It was a much needed release and refreshment from the Lord. Sometimes ministry can overshadow the simplicity of worship--connecting to the source, to the reason why we are doing all of these. After which was a time of encouragement and ministry as we prayed for one another. This is my ideal small group ministry. Not dictated by any program or plan, but lead by Jesus Christ himself. (Viola talks about the headship of Christ in a community). And after that refreshing time, like it was on cue, the youth we're expecting (new visitors, some were second-timers, highschool basketball varsity players) finally came. So we proceed as we've planned. As if the Lord decided to refocus our eyes first, that ministry should be done with awareness that ministry is also worship, before He sent the youth to be ministered by us. And what a joyful time it was of bonding and encouragement. We had games and get-to-know activities. By sharing time we got to connect to the hearts of the students as they opened up their frustrations and hurts. I am broken by listening to their frustrations and hurts from their families, parents and fathers. My heart cries for such young hearts being disappointed and bruised by a hurting world. Sometimes you are tempted to feel hopeless yourself as if you would question what could you do. But thank God for His Word that is always there to comfort and lay out a promise that He works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose. Indeed all of us have a purpose God gave for us to fulfill. It's just a matter of surrender and let Him use you for it.

After the time with them we had dinner at McDonalds, the young adults group who just came from their own small group which they held in a nearby resto, decided to join us for company, wanting to stay and fellowship some more. It was sweet. I ordered a Big Mac (rarely do I order a BM but this time I felt as if I could eat a cow) and enjoyed some extended fellowship and encouragement time by each other. After that we went home, took some of our youth home and got home ourselves.

It was tiring. Ministry can be tiring. But it's always worth every energy and sweat. May God be glorified for what has transpired today.

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." ~ 1 Corinthians 15:58

Day in the Life: So kakapagod!

Twas a long day today ... in a nutshell:

10AM - Went to Western Union just a few blocks from where I live. Picked up some funds after months of seemed hopeless waiting (I waited for like 5 months!). I thought my boss already ran off. But to be fair US is in some financial crisis right now.

11AM - Proceed to Book of Hope to pick up New Beginnings. Speed drive to Mapua.

12NN - Lunch with Mapua students Alain and Hazel. Ate student sisig meal. I miss college when you eat because you gotta eat. Food is really cheap. Great time of kwentuhan and fellowship.

2:30PM - Went to PGH with Brznf. We're planning to conduct a Christmas outreach program for the children's ward in PGH.

4PM - McDonalds. Really hungry and tired.

8PM - Praise Team practice. Really trying to keep myself from being cranky.

10PM - Lola Ellis, dinner with my brother.

Ramblings: On Carelessness, Pessimism and Depression

I need to get out more. I miss what I use to do. I think I was freer a few years back. I mean in terms of how I use to go around at will. I was supposed to go to Banaue next week but whadyaknow I'm tied again to the city. I told our small group this evening that shaving my hair reminded me of that feeling. That feeling of "careless abandonment", despite the unclear future you go ahead and "shave your head" or do something crazy or out of the ordinary, and perhaps you may enjoy the fruits of your faith or suffer the repercussions of your foolishness. I miss doing that. Is that a "youth" phase? I hope not.

And now for some ramblings ...

Pessimism. Despite my outward countenance I could say that I am quite a positive go-getter person. This topic came during our sharing time, how we need to have a more positive outlook on life and circumstances. Pessimism just imprisons you of your own assumpsions that you won't be able to prove until you step out in faith. I go back again to that thought of "careless abandonment". Even when I was already on that barber's chair I was undecided which way to go--go semikal or my regular haircut. But since I'm already sitting on the chair I don't have the luxury of time anymore. So I had to choose--take the risk of a shaved head or go with the accepted norm (I've noticed that even the food I eat has already been streamlined to selected choices). And in that unaccountable moment of the present you choose--even the one that requires the bigger risk. 

What am I trying to say? Careless abandonment. Sometimes life doesn't give us hints of which road to take. Missing road signs? But whatever comes in life you take credit for it, you bear responsibility over it, and not blame others for it. In this life it is necessary to be at least armed with one thing--faith (or three--love & hope). Faith in a divine hand that ordains your steps. That every ground you tread is where God is doing his next "field lesson". 

Onto another subject. Depression. Sometimes I do not understand why people go through lengthy whiles feeling sorry for themselves. Pointed words but true nevertheless. By the way, I'm a choleric with a dash of melancholy. I mean, life slams you hard on the ground, then why don't you pick up and and clean up yourself and fight all the more? I think that's where "crying over spilled milk" comes from. Stop crying over the past as if you could still alter them. The past is a hard stone, but the present and the future is as a malleable metal. Dwelling on it just wastes your present, shortens your future. Sayang, sayang, sayang.

"I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME." We have to have that Pauline attitude on life. Whatever life hands us, yes, we will manage, we will endure because quitting and sulking does not belong in the holy dictionary. Our model is Christ Jesus who went through far worse than whatever miserable experiences we can pit up against his, and yet he persisted, he endured (to the point of sweating beads of blood), he died, abandoning this life, overcoming our fiercest limit--death, ressurecting to life--a victor, an uncommon hero because didn't just simply win, he bled and still won. This is the kind of strength--strength that can ressurect even the deadest parts of our being--the kind of strength that permits us to face every fear, every obstacle, hindrance and "temporary setbacks" with a confidence and a sure-win attitude. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Life is too short to be wasted, Patrick. 

A Slice of BFGFC History

Check out this paper by Dr. Eli Javier about Pentecostalism in the Philippines. Apparently BFGFC was also an outgrowth of Manila Bethel Temple (which is now COP)?? I didn't know this ah. Another story added to my BFGFC history files in my head. "It needs to be said that when Lester Sumrall started Bethel Temple, a Chinese class was started which later evolved into the Chinese church.Regular church services later were held in rented facilities at the corner of Recto (then Azcarraga) and Reina Regente Streets in Manila. Today, we have two AG Chinese congregations in Manila (Binondo Full Gospeland United Bethel Church)"

Oh Lord, You're Beautiful

Oh Lord, You're beautiful

Your face is all I see

And when Your eyes are on this child

Your grace abounds to me

Oh Lord, please light my fire

That once burned bright and clear

Replace the lamp of my first love

That burns with holy fear

Note to Self: On Integrity

"[One's] leadership must be of the highest moral standard in all aspects of life; to expect less is to place the church's reputation and ministry in jeopardy."

~ Commentary of Titus 1:6-9

Note to Myself: On Integrty

"What men build with their gifts they can just as quickly destroy by their character." ~ Frank Viola

From Frank Viola's message: http://www.ptmin.org/Dallas2007.mp3

Day in the Life: Of A Bummed-Out Hard Preacher in a New Do

Just woke up at 2AM in the morning after sleeping in the afternoon. I was so tired. And my body still is a bit sore even now. I haven't feel such weariness like this one. By the time I finished speaking in Malabon yesterday afternoon I was already sinking from my chair. I got to speak twice yesterday. Yesterday morning at the morning service, I did a bit of hard preaching about how everyone should be involved in ministry. I mean, it's not enough just to feed people with soft teaching like God's love and prosperity and blessings and forgiveness. There's should be a balance of messages that will move them forward. I thought I did good, but you know sometimes people don't know any better.

Last Saturday's youth carecells were awesome. We got to stay 'til 9PM because of the dice game. I am happy to see that we are growing as a group, once you joined all the cells together.

Now that the sembreak's in I feel bummed out. Though there were a lot of things to do--most of them work, I don't find the drive to do them. Perhaps because I got used to doing and going to school. I also thought how my life would turn out after I graduate when a portion of my week's sched at school will be gone. This week I felt a sense of bumness and I thought I needed to do more youth ministry work. But I thought 2nd sem will just be around the corner so better get the max of this sembreak.

By the way, also last Saturday, I got a new haircut--semi-kal. It's a funny experience because even when I was already on the barber's chair I was undecided until I asked the barber if I would look good on semi-kal. And he said as long as I don't have peklat on my head it's cool. So I finally did. You know the feeling of that adrenaline rush--similar to that but quite different. It's a good feeling, a feeling of something new, something fresh in my life. When you feel afraid, worried how the world will think about you then it suddenly vanishes because despite the mind's objections I go ahead anyway. It's liberating. So after that quick shave I proceeded to church for youth. And it's funny that people needed to get used to my new do. Others point blank say it didn't look good (whatever). But most of them asking why did I do it. Others were concerned if I was depressed or had a big problem (only women get their hair done when depressed I think). I sometimes explain that my hair got all unhealthy from the hair gels I put in it that everytime I take a haircut the barber would offer hot oil treatment because my hair is unhealthy already, so I thought just cut off everything and grow a new set of hair. Good explanation? But really, I can't find a good explanation why I did it other than I was really bummed out. And it felt good, doing something crazy once in a while. I need to do more of this.

Hopelessly Romantic

As I read Isaiah, I can’t help but be frustrated and hopeful. Frustrated because its warnings and how it describes a “rebellious people” much reflects a familiar bunch.

“For this is a rebellious people, false sons, sons who refuse to listen to the instruction of the Lord; Who say to the seers, “You must not see visions”; And to the prophets, “You must not prophesy to us what is right, Speak to us pleasant words, Prophesy illusions. Get out of the way, turn aside from the path, Let us hear no more about the Holy One of Israel” (Isaiah 30:9-11). 

I am in a place wherein you think you know what to do, you know because you have already proven that you could. But your advise fall into deaf ears, your helping hand unwelcomed. This comes after your hope gets rekindled by a picture of a brighter future for your community. It’s like when you’re trapped in a confined space and you wanted to get out—get everybody out. Then you discover a small opening—a gleam of hope. Then you started working your way, sincerely, to find the way out, a tunnel. But at the end of that tunnel, a dead end, nothing more, nothing less.

So I thought, what’s the use? What’s the use of hoping? Better not rally for a spark of hope that will soon disappoint after a few battles for it.

Last night in our leaders carecell we were faced again with the question: Why do you do what you do? Why in spite of lack of perceived “return of investments” by the world’s standards, you pour out yourself for a cause—pour out ourselves in serving and taking care of the youth God has entrusted to us, pour out ourselves in serving this local body of Christ? Why do we serve at the expense of the world’s ridicule? Because I believe. Though I am in a constant battle to live out a child-like faith, I believe. I want to believe. Because there is something better than this kind of apathetic acceptance of a mediocre lifestyle.

“Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him” (Isaiah 30:18).

Lord, draw us near to you, that we may draw near to you. Because I believe it is by your doing that we could draw near into your presence. May you find in us, imperfect people as we are, a pure longing for your visitation.

Lord, in my waking and lying down, may I not pursue to please anyone but only You. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight.

(You might be wondering why the title. Besides that I can't think of any title that would sum up this post, in a sense this post is a stubborn allegience to the positive future of our community when God would visit each of us again.)