The Mind of the Melancholeric Man: Musings on Life and Ministry by Patrick Tan
God in the Clouds
It is not true to say that God wants to teach us something in our trials. Through every cloud He brings our way, He wants us to unlearn something. His purpose in using the cloud is to simplify our beliefs until our relationship with Him is exactly like that of a child— a relationship simply between God and our own souls ... [Oswald Chambers]
Forgiven
Blessed is he whose transgression are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit has no deceit.
When I kep silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.
Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord"--and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
David
Psalm 32:1-5
Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit has no deceit.
When I kep silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.
Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord"--and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
David
Psalm 32:1-5
Prayer for the Night
Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge.You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.
You have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.
I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure,
because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
You have known the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Psalm 16
Who God is:
- He is my refuge ... I am secure
- He is my righteousness ... I will be confident and not be burdened by Guilt
- He is my Father ... I can come to Him as I am, I can say and pour out my heart to Him
- He is my counselor ... I am led to the right path
- He is my inheritance ... I will never be empty-handed
- He is my right hand ... I can trust him
- He is my security ... I will not worry
- He is my ever present help ... I will not fear
- He is my joy and pleasure ... I will delight in Him
My response:
- I will praise the Lord
- I will not be shaken
- My heart will be glad
- My tongue will rejoice
- My body will rest secure
- I will be joyful
When All Options Fail
I was thinking about two Toy Story movies I recently saw where there's a scene when all options have run out and it seems that all hope is lost.
The first one, I don't know if it is Toy Story 1 or 2, where Andy's family makes the move and accidentally leaves Woody and Buzz. Buzz taped onto a rocket from the previous ordeal. And in their final effort to catch up with the moving van, they ride a remote control race car. The race car finally loses battery. But wait, the rocket! And Woody has one lone match he forgot he has. He lights it, but as it nears the rocket it's snuffed out by a speeding car. You would think that it's over. There's no way they could ever catch up with the van. But when all hopes fail, even the audiences', the writer has one more twist up his sleeve that we don't know about. Suddenly Woody remembers that Buzz's helmet can act as a magnifying glass. So he tilt's Buzz's helmet so that the sunlight pass thru it sparking fire on the rocket and it flew so fast they were able to catch up with the moving van.
The second is in Toy Story 3. By the end of the movie, there's a scene where all the toys were trapped in a conveyor belt that ends up in a burning furnace. They run away from it as fast as they could to no avail, the conveyor belt was faster than their little legs. The antagonist bear who supposed to have a change of heart was able to climb out of the moving belt, and reaches toward on-off switch, but instead of helping the team, he leaves them to fend for themselves and they all fell off the conveyor belt. Inside is a funnel that drops to the fire. Everyone is by the edge slowly inching towards the drop. At this point, it seems hopeless. Despite Woody's attempts to move away from the drop, others succumb that it's their end finally. At this point, I am close to tears because it seems hopeless. But again, the writer has one more twist up his sleeve that we don't know about. Suddenly a giant claw appears, operated by the three green alien plush toys, carrying them away to safety.
We can only assume. We know the story ends, but how or when, we are not certain. There are times and circumstances in our life when it seems (the keyword, "it seems", meaning we only assume that) it's the end of the road. I mean, given the facts and add to it our human ability to compound things with our emotions, it's hopeless. We lose hope, we give up, we bail out. But the Chief Writer alone decides how the story will end. The Chief Writer ... decides. It may seem going downhill, but they are necessary. The Chief Writer allows us to to experience disillusionment to glorify the salvation that's about to come, to elevate and to appreciate His salvation.
The Chief Writer is the God that brings us out of our Egypts. He is the One who provides a way out when we are tempted to give up. He is the Way ... the Life.
Today, may you realize that the story doesn't end here even when all hopes seems gone. The Chief Writer has finished the script and He invites us to discover His beautiful story. That there are times to mourn, only for a night, but in the morning is a beautiful praise. So never grow weary, even for a time you need to muster all your courage and strength to hold on. Salvation is near.
"Hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption." Psalm 130:7
If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared.
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.
- Song of Ascents (130:3-7)
The second is in Toy Story 3. By the end of the movie, there's a scene where all the toys were trapped in a conveyor belt that ends up in a burning furnace. They run away from it as fast as they could to no avail, the conveyor belt was faster than their little legs. The antagonist bear who supposed to have a change of heart was able to climb out of the moving belt, and reaches toward on-off switch, but instead of helping the team, he leaves them to fend for themselves and they all fell off the conveyor belt. Inside is a funnel that drops to the fire. Everyone is by the edge slowly inching towards the drop. At this point, it seems hopeless. Despite Woody's attempts to move away from the drop, others succumb that it's their end finally. At this point, I am close to tears because it seems hopeless. But again, the writer has one more twist up his sleeve that we don't know about. Suddenly a giant claw appears, operated by the three green alien plush toys, carrying them away to safety.
We can only assume. We know the story ends, but how or when, we are not certain. There are times and circumstances in our life when it seems (the keyword, "it seems", meaning we only assume that) it's the end of the road. I mean, given the facts and add to it our human ability to compound things with our emotions, it's hopeless. We lose hope, we give up, we bail out. But the Chief Writer alone decides how the story will end. The Chief Writer ... decides. It may seem going downhill, but they are necessary. The Chief Writer allows us to to experience disillusionment to glorify the salvation that's about to come, to elevate and to appreciate His salvation.
The Chief Writer is the God that brings us out of our Egypts. He is the One who provides a way out when we are tempted to give up. He is the Way ... the Life.
Today, may you realize that the story doesn't end here even when all hopes seems gone. The Chief Writer has finished the script and He invites us to discover His beautiful story. That there are times to mourn, only for a night, but in the morning is a beautiful praise. So never grow weary, even for a time you need to muster all your courage and strength to hold on. Salvation is near.
"Hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption." Psalm 130:7
If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared.
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.
- Song of Ascents (130:3-7)
First Sunday
Last Sunday we started attending Life Source Christian Fellowship. This will be our home for this season. We arrive early because the service starts at 10AM but we have to get our parents to Binondo before 8:30AM. After we parked a few blocks away from the university church we find out that the church is still closed so stayed at McDonald's for a second breakfast.
We are still in transition. Though I would like it to end soon and just start doing ministry, I believe it won't go away any moment soon. Sitting with my pancakes I look across the table and Nette is quiet. She is also adjusting to this set-up. She has gone through a lot: moving out of ICS, moving out of Makati Carecells and moving out of Binondo. She doesn't recover easily with parting relationships as I do.
As we arrive at church we find a familiar face. My friend who also just moved out their church.
The preaching was about the Lord's prayer. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Prayer is not changing the mind of God but aligning yourself to the will of God.
Prayer. My time alone with God today is dismal. I am reminded by the importance of community. It keeps you somehow on your toes specially in the spiritual disciplines (in my opinion). And Binondo is good at that. There is something in me that keeps on nagging me that I need to get my act together. But I can relate to the priest of Psalm 42, in despair, in longing, and yet hopeful. I am not looking for an emotional spiritual high, but it would help. I feel nothing, like a windless day. How do you push yourself, how do you "put your hope in God, until you once again praise Him?"
After the service we had small groups, and my friend breaks down. I've been thinking about that, how come I am not emotionally engaged with the situation we are in (I am not talking about sympathizing with my friend because I feel him). Am I in denial of something? Yes I realize that the church we came from was a security we cannot enjoy anymore. I acknowledge that I am floating, uprooted. What do I still need to acknowledge to myself? I know there is but today I still don't know. Where is God in all these? He is a Father waiting for my return. Lord, help me see what you want me to see.
We are still in transition. Though I would like it to end soon and just start doing ministry, I believe it won't go away any moment soon. Sitting with my pancakes I look across the table and Nette is quiet. She is also adjusting to this set-up. She has gone through a lot: moving out of ICS, moving out of Makati Carecells and moving out of Binondo. She doesn't recover easily with parting relationships as I do.
As we arrive at church we find a familiar face. My friend who also just moved out their church.
The preaching was about the Lord's prayer. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Prayer is not changing the mind of God but aligning yourself to the will of God.
Prayer. My time alone with God today is dismal. I am reminded by the importance of community. It keeps you somehow on your toes specially in the spiritual disciplines (in my opinion). And Binondo is good at that. There is something in me that keeps on nagging me that I need to get my act together. But I can relate to the priest of Psalm 42, in despair, in longing, and yet hopeful. I am not looking for an emotional spiritual high, but it would help. I feel nothing, like a windless day. How do you push yourself, how do you "put your hope in God, until you once again praise Him?"
After the service we had small groups, and my friend breaks down. I've been thinking about that, how come I am not emotionally engaged with the situation we are in (I am not talking about sympathizing with my friend because I feel him). Am I in denial of something? Yes I realize that the church we came from was a security we cannot enjoy anymore. I acknowledge that I am floating, uprooted. What do I still need to acknowledge to myself? I know there is but today I still don't know. Where is God in all these? He is a Father waiting for my return. Lord, help me see what you want me to see.
Murmats!
Today at Chi Alpha Ubelt I was able to connect with a high schooler whose name was also Patrick. He came to the center for the first gathering of the High School ministry through Book of Hope distribution done a few days ago. He came by himself. He said that he's already used to attending "youth" because he was active once in this sort of gathering. And later I will discover that he was a volunteer marshall at the Quiapo church, home of the Black Nazarene. And it's no question as I have confirmed that he's an active participant of the January feast. I learned that he is already twenty-one years old, that explains the moustache, but he looked like sixteen if not for the stache. Even though much delayed in education he was pretty determined to finish high school. I admire that because not a lot of young people in his situation would appreciate a high school diploma. Last part of the event was where they will be presented with the gospel story. This was the first time I did this since long ago and I felt I was pretty un-oiled, but praise God it went well. I just pray that the decision made by this guy will grow within him even in the days to come.
Two things:
Categories. Often times we put people in categories. I heard this first from Rob Bell and its true. We put people in categories. Is he Christian or non-Christian? High school or college? Today I was confronted by this almost involuntary labeling, and it screwed by labels. Much often we realize in this time today more than ever, labels don't work anymore. Being a "Christian" is not a guarantee of emulate-worthy, and I have met many "non-Christian" who are doing their part as active members of society. And one would sigh, "if only he/she was a Christian ..." Jesus broke the categories of his day, he broke through social lines and so we must as radical Jesus followers armed with the most potent weapon that breaks barriers: God's love.
The Mandate. We have been commanded to "go and make disciples of all nation". This was the first time again for me to intentionally share the gospel to a person. And even though at first it was like clockwork, by the end of my presentation I was filled with compassion for this person. We dwelled on discussing the validity of good works for salvation. If only he knew Jesus beyond the rituals and tradition just like many of us, even myself (even as Christians ministers we sometimes succumb to "autopilot"). But that moment sort of oiled my heart for the lost. The urgency the mandate and the beauty of an open heart.
I left after my conversation with the kid, they were still wrapping up the program, and Nette and I were to meet somewhere to go home together. In the train I texted the kid my appreciation and he returned, "... murmats kuya." This was new coded language for me. Is this how old I have gotten already, a realization that I'm not young anymore! So I texted him back asking what that word means (I thought it meant another thing, so I asked out of curiosity). He replied "Maraming Salamat" (Thank you). To God be the glory!
Two things:
Categories. Often times we put people in categories. I heard this first from Rob Bell and its true. We put people in categories. Is he Christian or non-Christian? High school or college? Today I was confronted by this almost involuntary labeling, and it screwed by labels. Much often we realize in this time today more than ever, labels don't work anymore. Being a "Christian" is not a guarantee of emulate-worthy, and I have met many "non-Christian" who are doing their part as active members of society. And one would sigh, "if only he/she was a Christian ..." Jesus broke the categories of his day, he broke through social lines and so we must as radical Jesus followers armed with the most potent weapon that breaks barriers: God's love.
The Mandate. We have been commanded to "go and make disciples of all nation". This was the first time again for me to intentionally share the gospel to a person. And even though at first it was like clockwork, by the end of my presentation I was filled with compassion for this person. We dwelled on discussing the validity of good works for salvation. If only he knew Jesus beyond the rituals and tradition just like many of us, even myself (even as Christians ministers we sometimes succumb to "autopilot"). But that moment sort of oiled my heart for the lost. The urgency the mandate and the beauty of an open heart.
I left after my conversation with the kid, they were still wrapping up the program, and Nette and I were to meet somewhere to go home together. In the train I texted the kid my appreciation and he returned, "... murmats kuya." This was new coded language for me. Is this how old I have gotten already, a realization that I'm not young anymore! So I texted him back asking what that word means (I thought it meant another thing, so I asked out of curiosity). He replied "Maraming Salamat" (Thank you). To God be the glory!
So it begins
Today our beloved church Binondo Full Gospel Family Center Assembly of God has released us from church to do campus missions. This is a major breakthrough in our ministry, however we have only just begun. Pray for us as we continue to step out in faith towards the task that God has given us for this season.
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