Here's what Ptr. Sam Sade shared during our retreat in his session "Keeping in Step with the Church". Though he numbered it seven, he added two more by the end of his session. We call it in the biz, impromptu :)
Clarify the win - Vision, vision, vision! Know where you are going. Ask, What do you celebrate when you look back? As a minister, are you celebrating conversions and disciples?
Think steps not programs - Programs are activities to keep people busy. Steps are programs to get people to the place where you want them to be. Steps are easy to follow/monitor, obvious (the need is obvious) and strategic (not "just because").
Narrow the focus - Do one or two things well rather than being a jack of all trades. Remember less is more. (This is something I really need to work on.)
Teach less for more - Teach them what they really need to know, not just trivial things, but things they can apply for the betterment of their lives. I remember a teaching professor remarked back in a conference about teaching today's seminarians, he said something like this, "I am less concerned when Calvin was born (and other "important" dates of church history), and more concerned about their contributions to today's church and the Christian faith system."
Listen to outsiders - Once in a while (or more than that) take evaluation from the people outside your organization. Because the longer you stay in an organization, the more your bias for or against the organization. Andy Stanley talks about how they value feedback from new employees, because it helps them see their organization with "fresh eyes".
Replace yourself - This is similar to what I heard before from Chuck Quinley: Work yourself out of your job. Meaning, learn to train, empower and disciple others to continue and enlarge the vision's flame.
Work on it - Simply put, nothing happens without industry and hardwork.
Think outside the box - If you don't think outside the box, you're only reaching people other churches are already reaching.
Dream big dreams, take great risks - Never fear to dream big. The safety of "dream small, fail small" is unchallenging and pessimistic. Learn to take great risks (with faith and anointed ears) and cross over to living an adventure.
The Mind of the Melancholeric Man: Musings on Life and Ministry by Patrick Tan
Day in the Life: Wedding Preparations
Today Netty and I went to had my body measured for my suit for my wedding. I'm wearing a black suit (black coat, black vest, white shirt and plum-colored tie). Plum is our color motif. Anyway, I was a bit shy before the designer of my suit. Because I am ignorant at this. Somehow this time I have difficulty visualizing what I want to wear. I just want a suit (everyone else will wear barong tagalog). The trip to the tailor (what do you call that?) was a success.
After that we went to Glorietta for dinner. It's good to sit down and talk. Netty knows that these days when we talk about wedding, I get stressed out. Don't misinterpret. I want to get married. I'm excited to get married. Thinking about it, it's not the provisions that's stressing me, because I'm confident about God's provision for us. I am beginning to realize that going round and about the details was the culprit. It's something I have to face. After dinner we headed to Gloria Jeans coffee to set some dates and payables for our wedding. It went well. Actually I really appreciate Nette for doing what she's doing, those well-organized planners and list of things to do. I thought I should be doing that being a born planner, but somehow wedding planning is of a different caliber. I feel I am becoming passive-aggressive about this and other things. Something I need to change. Oh the unfruitfulness and apathy of Facebook and the web ...
If wedding preparations stresses me out. Talking about future ministry stresses her out. I am glad that we had a conversation about it. This time I was the one opening up and she was the one listening. I'm glad that I had a chance to pour my heart out about what's happening in my mind. I always thank God for having a godly and supportive spouse-to-be.
Please do continue to pray for us. Our wedding preparations (provisions) and our ministry direction. May God alone be glorified when it's all said and done.
After that we went to Glorietta for dinner. It's good to sit down and talk. Netty knows that these days when we talk about wedding, I get stressed out. Don't misinterpret. I want to get married. I'm excited to get married. Thinking about it, it's not the provisions that's stressing me, because I'm confident about God's provision for us. I am beginning to realize that going round and about the details was the culprit. It's something I have to face. After dinner we headed to Gloria Jeans coffee to set some dates and payables for our wedding. It went well. Actually I really appreciate Nette for doing what she's doing, those well-organized planners and list of things to do. I thought I should be doing that being a born planner, but somehow wedding planning is of a different caliber. I feel I am becoming passive-aggressive about this and other things. Something I need to change. Oh the unfruitfulness and apathy of Facebook and the web ...
If wedding preparations stresses me out. Talking about future ministry stresses her out. I am glad that we had a conversation about it. This time I was the one opening up and she was the one listening. I'm glad that I had a chance to pour my heart out about what's happening in my mind. I always thank God for having a godly and supportive spouse-to-be.
Please do continue to pray for us. Our wedding preparations (provisions) and our ministry direction. May God alone be glorified when it's all said and done.
Ondoy says, "Wake up!"
It is during these times of tragedies we couldn't help but think if it is the effect of our nation's plight before the Lord. Controversies, corruptions and meaningless chatters, swept away by the raging flood. May it they never rise again. But it wouldn't be as easy as it sounds. Isaiah 1 deals with the plight of Judah before the Lord:
"When you come to appear before me, who has asked this of you, this trampling of my courts? Stop bringing meaningless offerings! Your incense is detestable to me ... When you spread out your hands in prayer I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen ... Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." (Isaiah 1:12, 15, 17)
Just as the Lord addressed the chosen nation for their callousness in the midst of the suffering of the community around them, He still does so today to the church. Don't get me wrong, the church is on the move, I have heard and seen great efforts to send relief coming from the church. But bringing it closer to home, as a person of God redeemed by the One who says, "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me to preach good news to the poor, to bring freedom to the captives, to declare the holy year of our Lord," am I part in prayer and help of the people in need of them? The Word of God cries "Justice!" Often times we get too comfortable in the four walls of our churches that we grow indifferent of what's happening just outside it's walls, it has become a prison of indifference.
I heard Rick Warren talk about the benefits and curse of technology. The technological revolution has helped us get information to and from us at the speed of light. But if I am watching for example, the tragedies of Ondoy on TV, I could feel sympathy, or perhaps tear a bit. But if I leave it at that, I failed to respond to the need, it becomes a coat of indifference in my heart. A couple more tragedies, tsunamis, Katrinas and Ondoys, and we are left with a hard calloused heart who deceives itself by thinking emotional sympathy without action is enough to justify one's lack of power to do something about it. Jesus saw the need, felt the need (compassion), and most importantly, met the need (Luke 10:34).
"Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow ... If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land." (v. 17, 19) Praise God if you are already living true Christianity, never stop doing it. If not, if your heart is stirring against the injustice you see on TV, do something, anything! No matter how small.
After Isaiah calls the attention of the church. There's another institution he brings to rebuke:
"See how the faithful city has become a harlot! She once was full of justice; righteousness used to dwell in her--but now murderers! ... Your rulers are rebels, companions of thieves; they all love bribes and chase after gifts. They do not defend the cause of the fatherless; the widow's case does not come before them." (v. 21, 23)
It is not hidden from our sight, not far from our ears our nation is going through. The Philippines has among the highest corrupted governments in the world. And every day I see and hear it's corruption even to the grassroots government--even SK's, 15 to 17-year-olds! It is sad that our beautiful nation has come to this. It has become a culture of abuse of power and the hopelessness and helplessness for the oppressed and suffering. Someone says, this is no time to blame one another. Yes, but we have brought rulers to powers to lead us. And we have been led nowhere.
Nevertheless, God says, "Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow ... If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land." (v. 18-19). Is there hope for our nation, I believe there is. What can I do? Stop indifference: (1) Pray for the Philippines, (2) vote wisely this election, (3) be the change and (4) lead others to do the same.
It is during these times that I am led to think that perhaps God uses these acts of God to compel us to come before Him in repentance and once more to depend on Him. It is during these times that remind us that instead of tearing down one another, we ought to be helping each other. It is sad that it always has to come to this. When will we learn? May this "new slate" bring us new hope and direction towards nearness and rightness with God. My hope is that we will become a fertile ground of God's word to work when the time comes and it's near:
"I will restore your judges as in days of old, your counselors as at the beginning. Afterward you will be called the City of Righteousness, the Faithful City. Zion will be redeemed with justice, her [repentant] ones with righteousness." (v. 26-27)
"When you come to appear before me, who has asked this of you, this trampling of my courts? Stop bringing meaningless offerings! Your incense is detestable to me ... When you spread out your hands in prayer I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen ... Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." (Isaiah 1:12, 15, 17)
Just as the Lord addressed the chosen nation for their callousness in the midst of the suffering of the community around them, He still does so today to the church. Don't get me wrong, the church is on the move, I have heard and seen great efforts to send relief coming from the church. But bringing it closer to home, as a person of God redeemed by the One who says, "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me to preach good news to the poor, to bring freedom to the captives, to declare the holy year of our Lord," am I part in prayer and help of the people in need of them? The Word of God cries "Justice!" Often times we get too comfortable in the four walls of our churches that we grow indifferent of what's happening just outside it's walls, it has become a prison of indifference.
I heard Rick Warren talk about the benefits and curse of technology. The technological revolution has helped us get information to and from us at the speed of light. But if I am watching for example, the tragedies of Ondoy on TV, I could feel sympathy, or perhaps tear a bit. But if I leave it at that, I failed to respond to the need, it becomes a coat of indifference in my heart. A couple more tragedies, tsunamis, Katrinas and Ondoys, and we are left with a hard calloused heart who deceives itself by thinking emotional sympathy without action is enough to justify one's lack of power to do something about it. Jesus saw the need, felt the need (compassion), and most importantly, met the need (Luke 10:34).
"Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow ... If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land." (v. 17, 19) Praise God if you are already living true Christianity, never stop doing it. If not, if your heart is stirring against the injustice you see on TV, do something, anything! No matter how small.
After Isaiah calls the attention of the church. There's another institution he brings to rebuke:
"See how the faithful city has become a harlot! She once was full of justice; righteousness used to dwell in her--but now murderers! ... Your rulers are rebels, companions of thieves; they all love bribes and chase after gifts. They do not defend the cause of the fatherless; the widow's case does not come before them." (v. 21, 23)
It is not hidden from our sight, not far from our ears our nation is going through. The Philippines has among the highest corrupted governments in the world. And every day I see and hear it's corruption even to the grassroots government--even SK's, 15 to 17-year-olds! It is sad that our beautiful nation has come to this. It has become a culture of abuse of power and the hopelessness and helplessness for the oppressed and suffering. Someone says, this is no time to blame one another. Yes, but we have brought rulers to powers to lead us. And we have been led nowhere.
Nevertheless, God says, "Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow ... If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land." (v. 18-19). Is there hope for our nation, I believe there is. What can I do? Stop indifference: (1) Pray for the Philippines, (2) vote wisely this election, (3) be the change and (4) lead others to do the same.
It is during these times that I am led to think that perhaps God uses these acts of God to compel us to come before Him in repentance and once more to depend on Him. It is during these times that remind us that instead of tearing down one another, we ought to be helping each other. It is sad that it always has to come to this. When will we learn? May this "new slate" bring us new hope and direction towards nearness and rightness with God. My hope is that we will become a fertile ground of God's word to work when the time comes and it's near:
"I will restore your judges as in days of old, your counselors as at the beginning. Afterward you will be called the City of Righteousness, the Faithful City. Zion will be redeemed with justice, her [repentant] ones with righteousness." (v. 26-27)
Reunited and it feels so good
I just discovered that I could now import my old Blogger blogs to my current one. So finally my 1st, 2nd and latest blog spanning five years now (started summer of 2004) could be joined together to form one timeline in one blog. This is great because once in a while I would check what I did in the previous years.
Chasing The Vision
I loved Ptr. Sam Sade's (during ASCM retreat) take on 1 Corinthians 2:9-10 as he relates it to vision. The verse says, "'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.'--but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit." God has prepared for each believer a vision of what He wants for us to accomplish. "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived ..." And sometimes that vision is too crazy, too risky, too far out that it almost instantly gathers criticism, disbelief and discomfort from the people around. God asked Noah to build an ark miles away from the nearest body of water. But God never fails to allow His chosen to see a glimpse of what He sees. "God has revealed it to us by his Spirit." Thus for the vision-carrier it is so clear that it ignites him to act--despite the difficulties and threats ahead. But in the end, he will find himself as an integral part of God's tapestry of His-story. There's no place I would want to be than where God wants me to be. Therefore, whatever God has put in your heart to accomplish, remember that no one else has the passion for this vision as vivid and as fiery as to the earthen vessel He has chosen to fill--you. Go and chase the adventure!
Day in the Life: Vision
Just came back from ASCM retreat last night. It was once more a time of refreshing and rest for me. But I am glad I'm home. Ready for work and ministry. I've been away two weeks for this and the Chrysalis Institute. So my body's kinda already looking for ministry.
During the retreat I've been given a vision from the Lord through another person. The vision was an image of me climbing a rope ladder. The destination upward is unseen. And I was climbing it with shaky hands that the whole ladder shakes. My friend asked me if something keeping me worried these days. I knew it. Besides the wedding (but I've settled in my heart that God will uphold us), I've been struggling in my heart for these past two weeks. The word that the Lord that has spoken to me has been that of one thing. Discipleship, taking risks. I was reminded to remember His promise before I entered the seminary. That calling was so vivid it's hard to forget. Yet somehow I find myself today scattered in ministry. Ptr. Sam Sade's message on Keeping in Step with the Church where in one of the points he talks about Narrowing My Focus. It hits me bullseye. Anyway, I remember other people who have given me visions of where I would be going. I was told I am worried and fearful. Yes, I am, with a lot of things, especially people--what people would say if I took a step. This two week journey might have been very important for me. I think I know what I will do, with the assurance of the Lord. Lord, I ask for more grace when my pace is slow. My desire is that you be glorified in my life.
During the retreat I've been given a vision from the Lord through another person. The vision was an image of me climbing a rope ladder. The destination upward is unseen. And I was climbing it with shaky hands that the whole ladder shakes. My friend asked me if something keeping me worried these days. I knew it. Besides the wedding (but I've settled in my heart that God will uphold us), I've been struggling in my heart for these past two weeks. The word that the Lord that has spoken to me has been that of one thing. Discipleship, taking risks. I was reminded to remember His promise before I entered the seminary. That calling was so vivid it's hard to forget. Yet somehow I find myself today scattered in ministry. Ptr. Sam Sade's message on Keeping in Step with the Church where in one of the points he talks about Narrowing My Focus. It hits me bullseye. Anyway, I remember other people who have given me visions of where I would be going. I was told I am worried and fearful. Yes, I am, with a lot of things, especially people--what people would say if I took a step. This two week journey might have been very important for me. I think I know what I will do, with the assurance of the Lord. Lord, I ask for more grace when my pace is slow. My desire is that you be glorified in my life.
Lessons I brought home from the Chrysalis Institute
Slow Is Fast - Don't hurry in building your foundation for ministry. It is a tested principle that those who rush and force-produce fruits do not last long. Take time to lay the foundation in building your ministry. This can apply to discipleship and smallgroups, in that it's ok too start small. Don't rush growth. Fruit grows naturally. Devote oneself to nurturing your people and momentum will build on itself.
The Virus Principle - This principle is applied in order to change cultures. Imagine a circle, this is the old culture. One cannot affect change inside the circle. It would be just like walking along the path of a tsunami, you get washed away. The key to affect change is starting outside the circle. Imagine now outside the circle another circle of new culture is nurtured and grows. Soon the old culture will be swept by this new growing culture. It's called the virus pricniple because one's job is to keep everyone infected with your passion and vision, and let it spread and conquer territories.
The Laser Principle - This principle is about the importance of knowing the one thing and focusing your energy on it. This is the reason why Coca-cola was more popular than Pepsi, because Coke focused on one thing, and that is Coke. The thing is, the likelihood of success of one's vision is when the vision communicates only one thing as oppose to many things.
The McDonalds Principle - The McDonald's principle is about the importance of consistency. McDonald's is one of the leading fast foods in the world because it had a system that maintains it's consistency wherever you find McDonald's all over the world. That means that when I go to the other side of the globe I will be served the same kind of food. This applies to how our ministries must be consistent in it's content and value that is served to our people.
Added Value Service - People would naturally flock to service that gives value for their money. All churches demand it's members ten percent of their income. Therefore it is only but practical that a wise Christian will go to the church that gives them the value for their money. Another insight is that when as ministers we give what the people need, compelling people to support your ministry would be easier than the mistake of pulpit dramas and threats. Sometimes we lose vision where to begin. It begins with serving people.
Foundation of Relationship is Trust - In leadership, building relationship is important. So we need to understand that the foundation of every relationship is based on trust. An important insight here is that trust does not equal intimacy. Because before I misunderstand that to build relationship one must become intimate or close to a person (discomfort follows after, or the feeling of not being yourself). Understanding this principle frees us from guilt and helps us keep focus on building credibility through one's consistency and integrity.
People: Paul's Crowning Glory - During our daily morning bible study of 1 Thessalonians, one of the beautiful insights we've learned is the importance and the dynamics of Paul's relationship to the Thessalonian church. In one verse he says that for Paul his reward (contrary to our common view of a heavenly reward for our labor), Paul's reward is the love and faith of the people he's nurtured, exhorted and encouraged. Have we ever looked at our people as our crowning glory? Have we appreciated their contribution this way? For Paul God's people were his crowns.
Leader = Vision + Communication + Resources - This is Ptr. Joey's definition of leadership. A true leader has a vision. A true leader has a clear picture of where he is headed. A true leader knows how to communicate this vision to other people so that they could follow him. And a true leader has the resources that will propel him and the people following him to that vision. A leader who does not know where he is going cannot lead. A leader on the other hand who does not know how to compel people to his vision also cannot lead.
Motherly, Fatherly & Brotherly Leadership - In 1 Thessalionians 2, we see the progression of leadership style Paul applies to the church. In the beginning, as spiritual infants, Paul is as a mother who nurtures her children. This means, giving them what they need to grow. As a growing child, Paul is as a father who exhorts and brings correction and discipline to the child (Proverbs talks about training the child the way he should go). And as grown mature Christians, Paul is as a brother who walks side by side with them in mutual labor and encouragement.
Scriptural vs. Superficial Relationship - In our bible study, Dr. John Dettoni challenged us to evaluate our relationship with the people we are leading. Are these relationships scripturally based on love, authentic concern and selfless service, or are we falling towards a superficial kind of relationship with the people we lead by becoming impersonal, mechanical and too "goal-oriented"?
Sustainable Organization - This is the challenge of creating sustainable organizations that produces authentic success and productivity through authentic concern towards people and wise and proper stewardship of resources.
Confession of an institutionalized disciple
Today I went to Starbucks in an attempt to make friends with anyone there. This time it was a failed attempt. There were groups of young people huddled, chatting, others going over assignments and readings together. But somehow it hindered me from going to them. Obviously there is fear in myself. Fear of being rejected. Fear of ridicule. Fear of the unexpected. But now I think about it. What would happen if I take initiative and reached out? Regardless, I have this discovery. That why most Christians stay on the four walls of the church, and would rather not go out to the wells where people gather. Because somehow we find security with the familiar. I find control over the situation when I'm inside the church. But I realized this very fortress becomes the prison that keeps me from doing what I'm called to do--discipling others. See, I've realized that my vision must be free to fly, boundless. And institutionalized church organizations keep it from soaring. The fish are not in the church (at least the fresh ones). They are out there ready for harvest as Jesus said. Lord, may this be a learning experience for me. I'm definitely not yet giving up. I'm thinking of going to a person I know who could mentor me regarding this.
Stand and Pray
Ephesians 6:10-20
Two words keep on repeating. Stand and Pray.
The premise on these three instances of standing is putting the full armor of God.
Stand against the devil's schemes, his temptations and oppressions (v. 11). It's a lie that one cannot resist him or his temptations. James tells us to resist him and he will flee. One can fight him in Spirit and the full armor of God.
Stand when the day of evil comes (v. 13). The days of evil are inevitable as everyone experiences tragedies and loss in varying levels in different times. Preparation is the ally of the God's soldier. A soldier of God must endure and not run away on days of hardships.
Stand firm (v. 14). Paul is not only speaking of momentary vigilance. At another place in this verse he says to be alert at all times. While we are in the world, the enemy will continue to try and destroy us (for we are God's crown of creation which he will never be). This is our defense against the enemy.
Three things praying is mentioned by Paul. Two mentions the manner we ought to pray. Three, what we ought to pray for.
Pray in the Spirit (v. 18). Pray in humility to the leading of the Holy Spirit, as one aligns with His will for whatever one is praying for. Pray in the unknown tongue the Spirit has bestowed to the one who has been baptized in fire. Perhaps the most powerful offense a Christian has in his spiritual artillery.
Pray at all times (v. 18). There are two "modes" of prayer. We may call it formal and informal prayers (for lack of a better term). Formal prayer are set appointments with the Lord to offer our worship and supplications to Him, absent of distractions within and around our body, mind and soul. Informal prayers are one must be accustomed to for we may not yet know it. By constantly being aware of the Spirit, just as one does his work with a companion, in simple conversations and supplications (Nehemiah's prayers are described as arrow prayers).
Pray with all kinds of prayer and requests (v. 18). The keyword here is "all kinds". It is comforting to realize that our God is a God who is able to answer "all kinds" of needs one can have. He is not only a Master Provider, but a loving Father, that desires to see the joy in His children, even in the simplest joy and surprises of life.
Pray for all the saints (v. 18). As the Christian grows he must understand that he is part of a bigger picture of God's story. Therefore, we must not only pray for our needs, but the needs of others, especially those of the faith.
Pray the fearless declaration of the gospel (v. 19, 20). As a Christian bearing the name of Christ, one must realize that he has become part of an ever-growing and ever-extending kingdom of God in the world. And one must pray for the agressive expansion of the gospel. Paul mentions praying for him as God's minister, but we ought also to pray for ourselves for confidence in living a victorious life, perhaps the only visible image of Christ to your family, friends and spheres of influence; Confidence to stand and speak for what is right against the world's backward flow to corruption.
Two words keep on repeating. Stand and Pray.
The premise on these three instances of standing is putting the full armor of God.
Stand against the devil's schemes, his temptations and oppressions (v. 11). It's a lie that one cannot resist him or his temptations. James tells us to resist him and he will flee. One can fight him in Spirit and the full armor of God.
Stand when the day of evil comes (v. 13). The days of evil are inevitable as everyone experiences tragedies and loss in varying levels in different times. Preparation is the ally of the God's soldier. A soldier of God must endure and not run away on days of hardships.
Stand firm (v. 14). Paul is not only speaking of momentary vigilance. At another place in this verse he says to be alert at all times. While we are in the world, the enemy will continue to try and destroy us (for we are God's crown of creation which he will never be). This is our defense against the enemy.
Three things praying is mentioned by Paul. Two mentions the manner we ought to pray. Three, what we ought to pray for.
Pray in the Spirit (v. 18). Pray in humility to the leading of the Holy Spirit, as one aligns with His will for whatever one is praying for. Pray in the unknown tongue the Spirit has bestowed to the one who has been baptized in fire. Perhaps the most powerful offense a Christian has in his spiritual artillery.
Pray at all times (v. 18). There are two "modes" of prayer. We may call it formal and informal prayers (for lack of a better term). Formal prayer are set appointments with the Lord to offer our worship and supplications to Him, absent of distractions within and around our body, mind and soul. Informal prayers are one must be accustomed to for we may not yet know it. By constantly being aware of the Spirit, just as one does his work with a companion, in simple conversations and supplications (Nehemiah's prayers are described as arrow prayers).
Pray with all kinds of prayer and requests (v. 18). The keyword here is "all kinds". It is comforting to realize that our God is a God who is able to answer "all kinds" of needs one can have. He is not only a Master Provider, but a loving Father, that desires to see the joy in His children, even in the simplest joy and surprises of life.
Pray for all the saints (v. 18). As the Christian grows he must understand that he is part of a bigger picture of God's story. Therefore, we must not only pray for our needs, but the needs of others, especially those of the faith.
Pray the fearless declaration of the gospel (v. 19, 20). As a Christian bearing the name of Christ, one must realize that he has become part of an ever-growing and ever-extending kingdom of God in the world. And one must pray for the agressive expansion of the gospel. Paul mentions praying for him as God's minister, but we ought also to pray for ourselves for confidence in living a victorious life, perhaps the only visible image of Christ to your family, friends and spheres of influence; Confidence to stand and speak for what is right against the world's backward flow to corruption.
Melancholy minister's guide to relationship building
Yesterday in our Principles and Methods of Teaching class, after our lecture on the 6 characteristics of an outstanding teacher (according to a survey conducted to the recipients of Metrobank's Outstanding Teacher's award. The six were expertise in subject matter, class management, instruction, diagnositcs, communication, relational), our professor asked which of the six we need to work on more. Surprisingly, more than half of the class (we were around 10) admitted that we have to work on relational expertise. Indeed it's an irony if we observe that as ministers we do a kind of work that has to deal with people at its core, and that most ministers have difficulty in relationship building.
This is my observation as well. I have known great leaders and ministers, who manifest the same thing. I myself am that way so let me speak for myself. After much thought I realized that most teachers and leaders either have a choleric (leader) and melancholy (analyzers, organizers) personality. Most of us are also introverts and thinkers. Cholerics talk for business (as oppose to sanguines who talk for pleasure). Melancholies on the other hand, value deep friendships requiring much time to build, so they have few but deep friendships. With these in mind, we will understand why we experience this "difficulty" in relationship building. We don't really have a difficulty in building relationships, we just don't have enough time (as melancholies) to spend time with each person so to build relationship with them. To say it correctly, we build relationships slowly because we invest time and trust in it. We think momentary interactions with people lack validity to invest time and effort to build relationship, so we think it is no use to do it. But we need to understand, in a ministry career that always deal with people, in both short term and long term, we need to understand that every moment counts and by putting our heart in what we do, we create a positive experience for the other person. This is not a natural trait for us, and should be an intentional habit to develop. By understanding how God created us to be, we can use our strengths for the benefit of the group or organization.
Consider these action steps:
This is my observation as well. I have known great leaders and ministers, who manifest the same thing. I myself am that way so let me speak for myself. After much thought I realized that most teachers and leaders either have a choleric (leader) and melancholy (analyzers, organizers) personality. Most of us are also introverts and thinkers. Cholerics talk for business (as oppose to sanguines who talk for pleasure). Melancholies on the other hand, value deep friendships requiring much time to build, so they have few but deep friendships. With these in mind, we will understand why we experience this "difficulty" in relationship building. We don't really have a difficulty in building relationships, we just don't have enough time (as melancholies) to spend time with each person so to build relationship with them. To say it correctly, we build relationships slowly because we invest time and trust in it. We think momentary interactions with people lack validity to invest time and effort to build relationship, so we think it is no use to do it. But we need to understand, in a ministry career that always deal with people, in both short term and long term, we need to understand that every moment counts and by putting our heart in what we do, we create a positive experience for the other person. This is not a natural trait for us, and should be an intentional habit to develop. By understanding how God created us to be, we can use our strengths for the benefit of the group or organization.
Consider these action steps:
- Seize short-term interactions as opportunities for positive experiences - Since taking initiative in relationship building is not a natural trait for melancholies, be purposeful and intentional with it. Discipline yourself to do it as a minister. Do not see it as already a failed mission (to build relationship at a short amount of time), but an opportunity to create a positive experience (one principle in "The Starbucks Experience") for the person, and also as an investment for the possibility of future interactions with the person.
- Choose deep friendships wisely and continually cultivate and enrich them - Since we value deep friendships, choose the friends where you will invest much time and trust wisely. This does not mean to be exclusive, but see these as long-term investments for you and the other person. It is said we become the people we spend much time with.
- Tap on innate compassion to touch other people - According to studies, melancholies are compassionate people. They are the first to cry at an mushy advertisement. Because their awareness of the emotional, they can easily relate and empathize with the suffering and the hurting. We must tap in this strength. We must also understand, that at the other extreme of this is our innate weakness to over-focus on ourselves when we go through problems. So again keeping ourselves off that weakness is an intentional discipline.
Day in the Life: The Next Three Weeks
- This Friday is my birthday. Though I haven't given it much thought. I have to change that attitude, because every year is a milestone of God's faithfulness to me.
- On Saturday, my family and Netty's parents will meet for lunch in Makati. Our parents will meet for the first time. Praying that it will be good.
- Next Tuesday, I will go to Subic for a Leadership Conference. I am excited already, to learn from experiences of others. To relax and chill. Will be there until Saturday.
- After that, it will be our school's semestral retreat. I need this badly because I need a fresh outpouring from God.
- I recently finished reading "The Starbucks Experience" it's a good read, recommended for us who like people management and strengthening organizations. I'm currently reading "Behavior Management" by Blanchard which is an easy read despite its looks. It was our reading in Church Admin and Finance class in ASCM, and now I'm just starting to read it from cover to cover. I have realized that I have this growing interest in people management and organizations. I feel this and the Leaders Conference will bring me much good.
- Yesterday, I surprised visit Netty in her clinic. I brought food we both like. Potato Chicken salad and Apple Walnut salad in the salad bar in Food Choices G4 (forgot the name); Chicken mushroom soup & chicken sandwich from Soup Kitchen in G5. I missed her greatly, after for some time we've been talking on the cell because their landline is down. Talking in cell for a long time is uncomfortable. We had a "candle light" meal on her clinic. It was very lovely.
- Lately I realized how I look is important to me, no matter how we say we don't. I have this annoying acne for a while perhaps because of stress over work and wedding preparations. And it's really a nuisance.
Great leaders give beyond what is asked of them
I was reminded of this principle twice recently. There is a kind of leader who would not go beyond what is expected of them. First there are those who because of lack of vision and ownership of the organization, they do not see the point of making effort. Every work is a tedious one. Secondly are those who does their job description. Nothing wrong with that. But it is for the same reason that they fail to excel in life--lack of vision, a bigger purpose in life. They do not see themselves as part of a bigger picture wherein their role is vital to the success of the organization. They are those who do not see beyond the fence. I believe there is more. Great leaders give beyond what is asked of them. They give the 110%. They are those who doesn't wait to be asked, but they themselves ask what good can they bring to the organization. They do not negotiate the easiest road. They see what is beyond the fence, and will never stop to reach it no matter how hardships present themselves along the way. Where do we start? (1) Discover your purpose, your life's vision. (2) Commit yourself to causes that will help you live out your vision (or better yet create your own cause) and (3) Be an asset to your organization, own the vision and help it bring it's vision into reality.
I remember an illustration about a certain person who walked past a cathedral that is being built. He asked the construction workers there, "What are you doing?" The first said, "I am laying bricks." The second said, "I am building a wall." And the third said, "I am helping build a beautiful cathedral." See, all of them were doing the same chore, but the last one had a broader understanding of his role in the creation of something good. As leaders not only do we have to see the bigger picture for ourselves, but bring the whole team to see what you see.
I remember an illustration about a certain person who walked past a cathedral that is being built. He asked the construction workers there, "What are you doing?" The first said, "I am laying bricks." The second said, "I am building a wall." And the third said, "I am helping build a beautiful cathedral." See, all of them were doing the same chore, but the last one had a broader understanding of his role in the creation of something good. As leaders not only do we have to see the bigger picture for ourselves, but bring the whole team to see what you see.
Day in the Life: Sinusitis & Dads
Today I woke up with a bad sinusitis so bad it hurts my head. It was early early morning. I woke up to the footsteps of my dad who wakes up before the sun rises. I went out of the room with a very painful head. My dad offered me to put some balm on my head, something he usually does for me, one of those father and son moments I wouldn't grow out of. Then I went back to sleep. In fact, I slept many times today. My body is feeling heavy, perhaps because of the flu, or somehow because of the workout video I've been following. Ate Me-anne gave me that.
Making Significant Impact in Middle-Management
This question popped out in my mind today: "How do you make significant impact in middle management?" You are not the top dog, you're not on the grassroots also. One cannot impliment all one's plans in entirety because you're not the top dog. I've learned it's not always good to assume the top dog position when you are not the top dog. Among other things, sustainability--it would be hard to sustain one's cause in an environment driven in the values of the top dog. In relation to downline and co-workers, it's sometimes difficult to expect excellence according to your personal definition of what is excellent. This is a difficult pill to swallow because I am a choleric-melancholy. Choleric--I want to do it my way; & melancholy--I want it to be perfect. I am not saying these ramblings are fair and right. In fact the challenge for me is always push myself to always see the good in people; to lower my "perfection" standards; and see that I am part of a bigger universe, of a shared community having shared experiences. One who always asserts himself to be the measuring rod for every person's behavior and performance is conceited and self-glorifying.
To make significant impact in middle-management I could think of living out these things:
1. Do your best - At the end of the day, it's a good feeling knowing that you've put in your 100% in what you did.
2. Keep your nose where it's supposed to be - Know your job description. If you're nosing on other people's work in a bad way like thinking how it would be better if it was done your way, it's just a waste of your time. Let people do their job. Learn to appreciate their contribution to the organization. Don't misinterpret. Helping others become better is good, if in a humble and sincere approach.
3. Clean-up your own backyard - Similar to #2. Jesus said, before telling other people to wipe their muta in their eyes, wipe your own muta in your eyes first. It's more credible when advise comes from a person who has a good track record.
4. Trust God's promotion - I believe that if you do what you're supposed to be doing, and you're doing your best, God's promotion is around the corner. And even if it doesn't come swiftly, know that when you do your best you just made God glad and you stayed true to yourself.
5. Be confident, but be humble - Confidence is not over-confident. Humility is not false humility. Be confident in what you do. Be humble because you're still learning and you're definitely not the smartest person in the world.
6. Always put oneself in other people's shoes - To keep oneself from being too conceited. Always consider other people's feelings and circumstances. Ask, what would you do if you are in the person's situation.
7. People are the way they are because all people have histories - Think twice before responding negatively to any people. Perhaps they bit you because something horrible happened to them before they met you and you just happened to be a victim of their hurts and past. Retaliating makes you accountable to your actions and does not contribute in making the world a better place.
8. Support your direct report and augment his strengths (Be an Aaron & Hur to your Moses) - Learn to be submissive and teachable. Don't make your boss life even more difficult by being difficult. Your boss is not your enemy. He is your ally in making positive significant impact in your organization. Learn to become a support to him by lifting him up on your shoulders.
9. Be an asset in your organization, not a liability - Instead of gloating and complaining, explore and commit yourself to become a valuable indespensible asset in the organization. Find your unique niche where you can make significant impact.
10. Chill, live one day at a time - Problems do not cease to exist. So relax. Have fun while you pursue your goals. Stop and smell the roses. Live one day at a time, one step at a time. Everyday has a worry of it's own (Jesus said that).
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