Confession of an institutionalized disciple

Today I went to Starbucks in an attempt to make friends with anyone there. This time it was a failed attempt. There were groups of young people huddled, chatting, others going over assignments and readings together. But somehow it hindered me from going to them. Obviously there is fear in myself. Fear of being rejected. Fear of ridicule. Fear of the unexpected. But now I think about it. What would happen if I take initiative and reached out? Regardless, I have this discovery. That why most Christians stay on the four walls of the church, and would rather not go out to the wells where people gather. Because somehow we find security with the familiar. I find control over the situation when I'm inside the church. But I realized this very fortress becomes the prison that keeps me from doing what I'm called to do--discipling others. See, I've realized that my vision must be free to fly, boundless. And institutionalized church organizations keep it from soaring. The fish are not in the church (at least the fresh ones). They are out there ready for harvest as Jesus said. Lord, may this be a learning experience for me. I'm definitely not yet giving up. I'm thinking of going to a person I know who could mentor me regarding this.