Patrick Tan

During my Stress and Conflict Management class, it was my time to share my thoughts. We are having the Wise Man game, a role play, where if I were to meet a very wise man in the mountains who know everything about me, what would the wise man say about me that I didn't know that I know.. confusing question, but something like that. I was already prepared since last year's class, but our class has 9 students in all taking turns to answer the question. I was among the last to speak. I was to share three things that about myself that I didn't know I know..

First, I realize that I have a fear for or unwillingness to change.
Second, I have a fear of or not fully developed in terms of intimacy.
Third, I am always concious of the impressions and opinions of other people about me.

Even though I am pro change and rally change to others. I somehow dread change. Dread in a sense of unwilling to or too lazy to receive changes. Many times change has occured in my life and I always didn't like it (refer to blog entry April 22, 2004, "Changes"). My motivation right now is always to ask myself, "What can I achieve or accomplish if I have no fear?" That motivates me to charter the unknown. And most of the time, there is green pasture on the other side of the wall.

What would I do, what can I achieve, if I have no fear?

- to be continued