Just stay put and put a tight grip...

Mom is feeling better. They will go to the doctor for another check-up.

It's weird I'm in this state of lack of direction again. I'm thinking for something to be thankful about. Of course there always is. My work is ok, my school is ok, my ministry in BFGFC is ok. It's the typical me--the smallest flaw ticks me off. I need to tell myself its not the end of the world.

I'm thankful that last night I was able to chat with a good friend and colleague and ministry who is experiencing the same thing or even worse than me. It's good that someone understands and someone to be encouraged with.

This too shall pass as all the problems and challenges I went through. I always say that when we're in the middle of the storm it sucks, and that's the worst time to make any judgment calls and decisions. The most we have to do is to stay put, put a tight grip on the Rock until the storm passes.

As I told my friend, I don't want to be the type of leader who just go through his leadership position without impacting the place where the Lord has put me. I just can't accept that. But in my situation I'm in, I could easily blame external factors. But I will choose not to do that.

See, even as I write this I'm feeling better. I should do this often.

But I already know what's the problem (with me), and the answer is so simple, yet because of our stubbornness it looks as if it's the hardest thing to do. I'm hear myself saying "what I don't want to do, I do. And what I need to do I do not do."

Lord, just hit me one more time.