First Move

Tonight I started to move some stuff to our house. Our house meaning us Netty and I.

FYI, my parents' house is a three floor building/house, we stay on the third floor, the second has smaller space where the kitchen and dining area is, kinda like a mezzanine, and the ground floor is the car park. At the back of our house is another set of rooms where my grandparents once lived, and that's where we are going to be staying as we begin our life together. I would like to see it as a totally separate space from my parents though much of its separate-ness is how we respect each other's boundaries. I admit that I'm far from being an expert about the subject, I might even eat my own words. But that kind of set up is what works for us for the time being.

So like I said, I made my first move. I brought down maybe 60% of my books in the house. I realize I own a lot of books and I might have to give away some of them. For a while I've been wanting to bring down some movable stuff downstairs and clear the area of things that have no relevance to us, but it was harder than I thought. First, every time I tried to move my stuff, my mom would say the house is still dirty and needs to be dusted and cleaned. I thought, what's the point of dusting it now, when after a few days it will accumulate dust again. She would say, that's why it's not wise to move now. I think that sometimes she is just delaying me from moving my stuff down because of denial that I am going to be married soon, but maybe that's just me. But I feel that this is something that's very significant for me, to somehow, assert what's left of my independence (a small portion of it already went to me staying in the same GPS coordinates as my parents).

Frankly I don't know where to begin to make our house our own. The house has two inner rooms and a middle living area with kitchen and sink. Not bad but I so wanted to renovate it. That's why a few days ago I downloaded a freeware called Google Sketchup where you can make a plan of your house and build design it (Sketchup goes way, way back our college days, first heard it from JP, and first time to use it now). My dad arranged for us to meet a freelance carpenter who could make the changes I want. Then again, it takes a lot of skills and courage to assert the changes you want versus my parents' suggestions. But I can see it, I can envision it how Netty and I will make this place our home. I am praying that with the right provisions, we will be able to start this project when we return from honeymoon.

Ramblings (Day in the Life portion is over)

Somehow, that episode of starting and planning and designing our house brought back a lot of thoughts to me about my college degree. What if I pursued that career? Somehow doing those plans and designs brought me satisfaction. I felt somehow my dad was living his dream, even for a while, that I'm putting my degree to use. But then again, perhaps this is because I am in a survival mode financially with the wedding and all that. But I can foresee that family life is not a walk in the park, I need to be responsible to build my family's security. Now family comes second to God.

I'm rambling now. Second to God. I'm reflecting now that I have my own family which comes second to God. It forces me to divide the love for God (worship) part and work for God part (ministry). And now it challenges me to assess: what I use to view as one big ball of worsh-istry or minis-ship, now when it's separated from the other, what has truly been left of my God-worship. I have come a long way.

Despite my thoughts (or fantasizing) of pursuing my architectural accreditation, I am still haven't forget my call. And God has once more proven that, that He is my shield and my great reward (that's why the previous post). I don't want to fit in anyone's shell but God's. Lord, more than ever, please direct my path.