Patrick Tan

Lots of things going on lately...

Today I drove to class on Research. Spent time in the library for research paper, and stayed a couple of minutes at the prayer room to deal some issues with God.

Then I had an advisor check-up with my advisor Ma'am Marcia Anderson. Ma'am Marcia is a nice old lady, currently my professor in Old Testament 1. I love her Bible storytelling during class. I am learning a lot. I am so looking forward to talking with my adviser because I want someone to share my feelings and experiences at ASCM. In my second semester at ASCM, I still feel out-of-place. Professors are kind and great, but I need some company. My classmates in the masteral are either older or too foreign to relate with. I want to be part of the 'in' crowd, the younger people of the bachelors. It's liberating able to talk with Ma'am Marcia about my love life and my struggles in life.

I'm looking forward to go the our semestral retreat this September 18-20. I have a deep need... Chapel time at school has been very difficult lately. Because He has been calling my attention, as in. Dreading and at the same time looking forward to go to chapel tomorrow.

I've been wanting to fast lately for a need. But so far, I haven't made a move. I've noticed also that I'm always craving for food. I'm not getting fat, yet the pleasure of eating and eating is getting out of hand. I think I have lots of things in mind, a problem. It will be a hard battle to fast. Looking for a right time.

I am planning to leave my job. There has been problems in the company. I am also getting unmotivated also. It's not fun work anymore. Everyday I drag myself to do the piling loads in my e-mail. I thought of joining Book of Hope team, because I think it's fun and cause-ful. I'm afraid of the change that will follow, especially on support. But in general, I am in auto-pilot to trust God and pray that His will for me be done.

Today, at two different times, I saw the girl again, with a guy following her. It didn't broke my heart. I am getting weary and dry.