Patrick Tan

This afternoon I went to Chiang Kai Shek College to do prayerwalking with my leaders. It was drizzling and windy at times. But we still prayed in the sidewalk across the school.

After that we stopped by McDonalds for snack. During that time, I decided to visit Mhian, a youth leader whose family left the church. I didn't found her there, only his dad and Eman his brother was around. We chatted for a while, settled unresolved issues. May God's will be done if they would return to our church.

After that I went to SM North to meet Kuya Sur. I met Pastor Sur during summer and was able to spend time with him during my two weeks stay at AIYS. He's very jolly person with sense. He gave a book called "The Top 10 Mistakes Leaders Make." We talked about lots of things. I really appreciated that he 'stirred' my thinking about life and my work. Some of the questions were:

- How do the prosperous/rich walk in faith?
- How will I express my obedience to God after his calling?
- What would you do if you serve a furious and mad king (Tale of Three Kings)?

I thank God for bringing another person who I can look up to. I need people like Kuya Sur in my walk to keep me focused, motivated and not lose vision. I wanted to share my story to him in good time.

I've shared to him my concerns of revealing my calling to people who knew me before. I am quite confident of being discovered walking through the pastoral path. I expect some will not understand, but others will. It's in this point in our lives we make identity for ourselves, make unpopular choices which are unnecessarily right or wrong, because in the end it's one man for himself.

How does the prosperous walk in faith? My previous notion of walking in faith is to be deprived of financial stability, putting your faith in God to take care of you. But I realized this is a narrow-minded concept of self-pity and depravation, unless it is a true calling of God. So tell me, how does the prosperous walk in faith? It doesn't always have to deal with financial or material poverty.. Does walking in faith mean sacrificing? Can relationships be sacrificed? Personal achievements and fame? I still have to discover the answer to this question.

How do I express my obedience to God's after his calling? I delayed my enrollment in bible school, which was my immediate way of expressing obedience. I feel these are the things God asks me to do: Pursue pastoring to the young people and the campus, and do missions.

Now I have really talked a lot haven't I? As the saying goes, "Silent waters run deep." Regardless if people think I am boring, I learned to appreciate myself.

Just random thoughts...