Patrick Tan

The sky is dark today. Looks like it's gonna rain.

Yesterday, I went to school to enroll. I got three subjects and one minor. 10 units in all. It was nice to see again schoolmates and professors. Can't wait to go back to school. Tuition was a reality-checker. And it's only now that I realized how high the tuition was. So I managed to pay only half.

After enrollment, I went to RP to meet Kuya Sur and Ate Love. I wore this flowery red polo shirt that everyone was looking at that made me feel uneasy. After an hour of roaming around, I met Kuya Sur outside RP instead, cause he's waiting for Ate Love naman. So we ordered some food. Finally I was able to talk to Kuya Sur. Like before, I am really grateful that he helps me articulate my situations and decisions. I've been so wanting to talk to him about my next move in work. My initial plan was to join a ministry organization. After much questions and feedback from someone who's worked in one, I had doubts if this is the kind of work for me. I realized that perhaps I am longing for an output of an extended territory in ministry, which is true. That's why I'm serious to finish my seminary. But profit is still necessary for me for I need to support myself and family. I am not ready about going to an 8-5 office. And my work set-up before was ideal to me. Not that I regret resigning from the company, believe me I don't. But now I think I have to look for something similar. I need also an output for my creativity.

His prayer for me is that God would begin to close every open door of opportunity so that only one door would be left open for me to enter. I own that prayer.

It's raining hard.

One benefit that I realized since I resigned from my job was that I was able to spend more time with God. I sleep early and wake up early in time for devotion. I pray more, I read more. I realized I trusted my work, it gave me face, not that it's totally wrong. Work is important for living. But this circumstance directed me to trust more in God. I remember our conversations about walking in faith, not that I have taken hold of it fully, just a glimpse of it.