Just came home two hours ago from our church's Christmas party. Great fellowship and food time. Just that an unanticipated number of Christmas games were played because there were more than one game master, one was me, and another one who led something like Eat Bulaga's Itaktak Mo game gone wrong :) So we finished around 11PM already. Got home around 12, because I had to meet a client before the Christmas vacation.
I realized that exchange gifts has lost its essence in the context of large groups and small amounts. I handed about a number of mugs, picture frames and towels, obviously shaped under a Christmas wrapper. It's like what's the point if you participate in an exchange gift then you give away what you received, I don't understand that. I wasn't able to participate in the exchange gift because didn't have time to buy today because of preparations.
Youth camp is less than a week from now. It's what has been demanding my attention nowadays. Last week I was like ruffled because of sudden disruptions in plans after what seemed to be a smooth-sailing preparation. But indeed God is faithful and good, this week one by one every concern is being solved and everything's falling to place. It's really amazing, knowing that there's no other explanation how it happened except that God is very involved. Praying and expecting great and marvelous things for the camp. To date pre-registration has been hitting around 90-100 youths. Very, very excited.
This year's Christmas season is a bit different for me. Somehow I wasn't able to soak in it. It was a promising foresight months ago, but now that it's here I feel needing more of the Christmas spirit. I don't mean losing sight of the true meaning of Christmas which is the birth of Jesus Christ and that sense of gratitude. But I'm looking for that MAGIC that as if year by year eludes me as I grow older. I miss that. Perhaps because my attention is in the camp. Perhaps it's the climate, it's quite sunny during the day and warm in the evening, unlike earlier this December. But still there's more to celebrate, somehow I realize it's no different day than others, thanking and in silent awe and gratitude of the blessings of family and loved ones in my life, of grace abounding.
Listening to Jars of Clay's 2007 Christmas album "Christmas Songs" worth listening to. I like their music especially those of nostalgic and folk. Also can't get enough of listening to the Relevant Podcast, the guys there are really, really funny. I'm addicted to podcasts now. I also got myself a one year subscription of Relevant Magazine.
3 more days to Christmas. Merry Christmas to all!
The Mind of the Melancholeric Man: Musings on Life and Ministry by Patrick Tan
Psalm 77
Thanks for preparing me beforehand.
1 I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands
and my soul refused to be comforted.
3 I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;
I mused, and my spirit grew faint.
Selah
4 You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
5 I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
6 I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart mused and my spirit inquired:
7 "Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"
Selah
10 Then I thought, "To this I will appeal:
the years of the right hand of the Most High."
11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
12 I will meditate on all your works
and consider all your mighty deeds.
13 Your ways, O God, are holy.
What god is so great as our God?
14 You are the God who performs miracles;
you display your power among the peoples.
15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
Selah
1 I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands
and my soul refused to be comforted.
3 I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;
I mused, and my spirit grew faint.
Selah
4 You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
5 I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
6 I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart mused and my spirit inquired:
7 "Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"
Selah
10 Then I thought, "To this I will appeal:
the years of the right hand of the Most High."
11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
12 I will meditate on all your works
and consider all your mighty deeds.
13 Your ways, O God, are holy.
What god is so great as our God?
14 You are the God who performs miracles;
you display your power among the peoples.
15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
Selah
My Father
My father is one of the most significant persons that shaped me for who I am today. Though significant doesn't necessarily mean in a positive way. My father is not perfect, just as all earthly fathers are. I feel regret when I think of our relationship. I wish it had been better. I hope I can paint him as objective as possible.
I grew up in a middle-class family. My parents were young then, hopeful and adventurous. My father was a great business man. We used to own a printing press in Manila. Among our extended families on both sides, my family was the most well-off. It was my mother's dream, I believe everything was because of my dad. He is a very hard-working man. And he didn't fail to give us what we need. I remember me and my brother celebrating our childhood birthdays with a party every time. We would go up every summer to Baguio, together with extended families at the expense of my father. But he wasn't all extravagant. In fact he was known for his tight-fistedness when it comes to money. He despised the lazy and the dependent. Perhaps this was because he grew up fatherless. His father died during his teen years. He learned the hard life while still young.
Until highschool I went to a Filipino-Chinese school, surrounded by classmates more well-off than me. Somehow I grew envious of them. Because they had mansion-like houses, multiple cars, multiple shoes, had the latest toys. They would go abroad with their families. Somehow I wished I hadn't been exposed to those so I won't envy and look for things that our family does not have. Come to think of it, if I grew up without those, I would be content. And yet because of this I grew unimpressed of my hard-working father. My parents got saved in 1990. And since then up until today, I felt that he had lost the enjoyment of life. He ceased to enjoy his hard-work at the expense of his family. At the expense of my mother. We don't go to trips anymore, we don't eat out as much. But still he was a hard-worker.
My father is a very patient man. He rarely loose his temper. Among my parents, my mom was the more nagging one; my father always kept his mouth close. Just don't push him too much. I remember a time in my highschool when I used to be a rebellious child. I answer back, I murmur. But I didn't anticipate what happened one day. It was morning and we were preparing to go to school. I forgot what he was scolding about me that time. I murmured and suddenly like an unexpected earthquake, he drags me from inside the car, out in the street. It was the morning rush so cars and jeepneys were in a halt. And in the view of everybody, I was beaten by my father mercilessly. That's when for the first time I learned my lesson. It was days that we didn't talk until one day everything went back to normal. But somehow that experience contributed to how I feel about my dad.
It was a dream come true when got into the College of Architecture in University of Santo Tomas. I had a very promising career. I knew he believed in me, he was proud of me. It was during this season that his mother got sick. Today I learned that it was because of my grandmother's medical bills that our printing business went crashing down. I remember the season when they would borrow money, run away from the landlord, and eventually giving the whole printing press as payment to the people he owed. I believe it was a devastating blow on him.
Then it was time that I graduated. That time I'm struggling between pursuing ministry or a professional career as an architect. During that summer my call was confirmed. And by 2nd semester I enrolled myself to ASCM. I was a very idealistic, passionate man, full of hope. I was driven. Yet I failed to get the blessing of my parents. I skipped it, somehow I assumed that they would support me whatever road I chose. But that was not the case. My father hated the fact that I didn't pursue my career. It was understandable I think because after all the hard-work of taking your eldest son through college. All has gone to waste. I remember my mom telling me she prayed that I will be called into the ministry. And during the early years of my post-college life, our relationship (my father) grew even colder. He was a frustrated man. I was torn between my family and my calling.
I remember one Sunday morning we were on our way to church. He was so frustrated at me that he didn't want to drive to church (which he usually does), so I drive instead. The trip to the church was an ordeal, because my father kept on airing his frustrations about me foolishly running after a ministry. I felt really, really bad. My dignity trampled upon. And even I was a grown man, such hurtful words I heard that day, in the presence of my mother and brother, really devasted me as a person. We arrived at church, I was playing for worship, he was so disturbed in his spirit that he left church even before the service had started. Later in the week he apologized to each other through text and somehow the issue calmed down for a while. There were many more instances like these but this one was the worst of all.
Today, he works as an employee, supervisor, at his aunt's printing press. He is still a hard-working man at his mid-50s. He has lost his passion, his dream. I believe he doesn't have even a vision for our family anymore. He just works and works. He leaves early in the morning, goes home at five-thirty, takes an early dinner, and most of the time sleeps early. He hardly celebrates victories and remembrances. He is a tired man. He still reminds us brothers about not spending too much time in ministry at the expense of family. He never reprimands us directly, somehow it would be painful for him to bring upon sadness to his children. I feel sad for my mother. I wished they're relationship would be more romantic. He has taken the backseat. I wish that he would take that leadership role in the family. I longed for my father to lead our family.
I feel robbed when I think of how I didn't get a chance to bring my relationship with my father to full maturity. He was a hard-working man, but where has it taken him? Nevertheless, until today I longed for his approval and his acceptance. He hasn't express his affection to us verbally, sometimes through occasional cards and text messages. But every time I cry to myself when I wonder if I am making my parents proud; if I am making my father proud. The approval I so desired before all men was my father's.
But I have still a lot of things to be thankful for. He might not have influenced us toward business. But he gave to me and my brother the passion for art. My father taught us to play guitar which sparked our artistic inclinations. My father is a jack of all trades. He is good at fixing things. It's as if he knew how to fix everything. He also taught me how to drive. Even though our relationship is not perfect, somehow I will be grieved when he leaves, after all he is the only dad I will ever have. I remember one time that I dreamed of his death, it was more like a nightmare. They heard me screaming and wailing loudly in my sleep. I woke up to my dad slapping me. And waking up to my father, I cried even louder, held him tight and didn't let him go. Somehow I realized, I love my father.
I have worries for the future. I'm worried about how will I become a good father to my children someday growing up with my father. Even now I discover things and habits he does which I don't like, now I do involuntarily. I fear that I myself will become my father.
Web 2.0 and Prince Caspian
Day 7 of cough marathon. Somehow the sneezing has stopped. Flu and Flem aren't ready to say goodbye.
+
Just stayed at home today. Work day. Finally after days of wringing ideas for a new website project I've already produced one. It's my first attempt of intentially designing a Web 2.0 friendly design. Web 2.0 is an emerging trend (or has it become mainstream already) on the Internet. Design-wise it's characterized (I think) by bright colors, blog-like layout, wide spacing between texts, generous use of bevels, shadows and reflections, use of graphic art and user-interaction friendly. I never quite got the hang of it at first. But I'm starting to like it.
Several examples are found here: http://tutorialblog.org/wide-web-20-style/
+
Finished reading Prince Caspian today. I was surprised that I was able to finish it that quick. And surprised even that the plot was shorter than I had expected. It's a good read, but The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is still the best for me among the two. I think I'll proceed with reading the others. I learned from Wikipedia that LWW and Prince Caspian are the 1st and 2nd of the series in order of publication but 2nd and 4th respectively in order of chronology. But one doesn't need a lot of refresher reading Prince Caspian because it picks up a year after the Pevensies left Narnia. Somehow I'm intrigued of what will be the outcome of the movie. I read that they have to add some plots and story arcs for this movie to make it more exciting. I hope they'll bring the rest of the books to the big screen just like Harry Potter.
And again, looking for another book to read.
+
Just stayed at home today. Work day. Finally after days of wringing ideas for a new website project I've already produced one. It's my first attempt of intentially designing a Web 2.0 friendly design. Web 2.0 is an emerging trend (or has it become mainstream already) on the Internet. Design-wise it's characterized (I think) by bright colors, blog-like layout, wide spacing between texts, generous use of bevels, shadows and reflections, use of graphic art and user-interaction friendly. I never quite got the hang of it at first. But I'm starting to like it.
Several examples are found here: http://tutorialblog.org/wide-web-20-style/
+
Finished reading Prince Caspian today. I was surprised that I was able to finish it that quick. And surprised even that the plot was shorter than I had expected. It's a good read, but The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is still the best for me among the two. I think I'll proceed with reading the others. I learned from Wikipedia that LWW and Prince Caspian are the 1st and 2nd of the series in order of publication but 2nd and 4th respectively in order of chronology. But one doesn't need a lot of refresher reading Prince Caspian because it picks up a year after the Pevensies left Narnia. Somehow I'm intrigued of what will be the outcome of the movie. I read that they have to add some plots and story arcs for this movie to make it more exciting. I hope they'll bring the rest of the books to the big screen just like Harry Potter.
And again, looking for another book to read.
Visit to the Doctor
Today was my last class for 2007 and I missed it. I was too late because of a home project. I felt too embarassed to show up and our professor has this gimmick of giving late students crazy consequences. Today was also my time to visit the doctor because of my sinusitis. So I decided to go early to the doctor. But first I detoured in Greenbelt to walk around. I went to Powerbooks to get Prince Caspian. It's showing summer of 2008. After an hour and a half I drove to Manila to meet my mom who was already in the clinic. It's been months since I saw my doctor and he has really blown up. He did confirm my ailment as sinusitis because I was experiencing headache when I cough. He also checked my eyes to see what's wrong. For months now my eyes get irritated once in a while and I can't help but scratch it. He said it my eyes were strained due to too much reading and computer. After the check up he prescribed four medicines for my sinusitis and my eyes.
After check up it was bonding time with my mom. We walked around Masangkay Street which was by the way changed in some ways. Masangkay is one of the main streets where I grew up as a high school student in Chiang Kai Shek College. A couple of new building constructions. One thing I noticed was the evolution of street food in the area. Before it was the common hamburger and hotdog stands, fishballs and junkfood. But now there are a number of stir fry stands which is tickling my curiosity. Street cuisine has become a bit sophisticated. Then there's Shakey's Pizza opened in the recent months (or years?) and it's a major flop. Outsiders usually think the common Fil-Chi will spend his regular day fine dining. That's why a number of restos in Binondo are short-lived or hardly anyone's eating except weekends. They forgot we are kuripot ... or thrifty. Anyway, we went to the drugstore to get my prescribed medicines. Bought some fruits and snacks on the way home.
After check up it was bonding time with my mom. We walked around Masangkay Street which was by the way changed in some ways. Masangkay is one of the main streets where I grew up as a high school student in Chiang Kai Shek College. A couple of new building constructions. One thing I noticed was the evolution of street food in the area. Before it was the common hamburger and hotdog stands, fishballs and junkfood. But now there are a number of stir fry stands which is tickling my curiosity. Street cuisine has become a bit sophisticated. Then there's Shakey's Pizza opened in the recent months (or years?) and it's a major flop. Outsiders usually think the common Fil-Chi will spend his regular day fine dining. That's why a number of restos in Binondo are short-lived or hardly anyone's eating except weekends. They forgot we are kuripot ... or thrifty. Anyway, we went to the drugstore to get my prescribed medicines. Bought some fruits and snacks on the way home.
Lakewood: Sing Over Me
Been raving about this song lately. Will be singing it in church this weekend.
SING OVER ME | Israel Houghton | chords
Once again, I'm drawing near to worship as You're drawing me
Once again, You lift my head and lift my heart to heights unseen
In a moment I am in Your presence, everything is clear
As I hear heaven's melody
[+] (As You begin to) Sing over me songs of deliverance
Lord, cover me with Your mighty hand
Sing over me, God of the second chance
Sing over me once again
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)
SING OVER ME | Israel Houghton | chords
Once again, I'm drawing near to worship as You're drawing me
Once again, You lift my head and lift my heart to heights unseen
In a moment I am in Your presence, everything is clear
As I hear heaven's melody
[+] (As You begin to) Sing over me songs of deliverance
Lord, cover me with Your mighty hand
Sing over me, God of the second chance
Sing over me once again
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)
Today at Counseling
It's quite an interesting class earlier. I've been learning a lot in Counseling class. I told the class earlier how as I go through the subject I realize my mistakes when I do counseling before.
I don't really call in counseling when I minister to young people by listening to them and their problems though I'm more aware now that indeed that is counseling. But sometimes I get overwhelmed when the problems are unveiled on you. Perhaps the most difficult case I've handled was dealing with suicide and pregnancy issues among some of the youth I've worked with. It's true what Ma'am Zonia Tappeiner said about feeling inadequate and inexperienced over what to do about the problem. But she adds a Spirit-filled, Christ-centered counseling makes great leaps towards the healing of the person. This is indeed true.
I also realize the effectiveness of small group counseling and the probability that I will be applying it in my ministry as a leader in our church.
+
The later half of counseling session has been quite interesting. We again huddled for small groups and this time the focus was on a classmate's issue about her lack of control over the volume of her voice. She realizes it's causing negative feedbacks with some people in her sphere but she feels bending to their preferences means compromise on her real personality.
Somehow I could relate to her reluctance to "compromise" her true self on people. I had the same struggle growing up in ministry. I'm a shy, quiet person and had a great deal of struggle coming out of my shell. It's a blessing that I had a Psychology student friend who helped me through the ordeal. But later I've realized that it was for my own betterment that I explored the hidden qualities about myself rather than staying in my little world. I need to tell myself that it's not always about me and about me feeling comfortable and unthreatened. We need to relate with people and sometimes it requires both of us meeting halfway in order to relate to one another. Paul says to "consider others better than yourselves" (Phil 2:3) which is a helpful reminder for me that it's not always about me.
Since the first day of class I've already noticed her loudness. Now there are people whose loudness are infectious and lits up a room. But there are people whose loudness go against them. I saw her as the latter. I've grown to become mellow, and being a thinker than a talker, I've come to be ruffled with too much noise especially when I'm concentrating. I admit that I've become subjective over her personality. Such is so with shallow acquaintances with people. And it is not good.
Doing the small group somehow unnerved me in relating to her. I've shared and realized for myself that everything boils down to relationship. Everyone of us have our own kinks that may ruffle someone's feathers. Without relationship it's easy to just express "what you really think" and readily throw that shallow relationship in the garbage. But I've realized that with relationship you grow more patient and more understanding with people. Your wall of stereotype over the person breaks down and realize that he/she is human like you and not just the person you see in face value. With relationship the issue deviates from who is right and who is wrong to the value of friendship. The realization of this has worked for me when relating to people. Somehow I keep myself from putting judgments over people and trying to know them, their story and how they're feeling. And I believe it is a good thing to do.
+
Paulo Coelho shares in his book "Like the Flowing River" a story told Shimon Perez over the World Economic Forum at Davos:
Beautiful.
I don't really call in counseling when I minister to young people by listening to them and their problems though I'm more aware now that indeed that is counseling. But sometimes I get overwhelmed when the problems are unveiled on you. Perhaps the most difficult case I've handled was dealing with suicide and pregnancy issues among some of the youth I've worked with. It's true what Ma'am Zonia Tappeiner said about feeling inadequate and inexperienced over what to do about the problem. But she adds a Spirit-filled, Christ-centered counseling makes great leaps towards the healing of the person. This is indeed true.
I also realize the effectiveness of small group counseling and the probability that I will be applying it in my ministry as a leader in our church.
+
The later half of counseling session has been quite interesting. We again huddled for small groups and this time the focus was on a classmate's issue about her lack of control over the volume of her voice. She realizes it's causing negative feedbacks with some people in her sphere but she feels bending to their preferences means compromise on her real personality.
Somehow I could relate to her reluctance to "compromise" her true self on people. I had the same struggle growing up in ministry. I'm a shy, quiet person and had a great deal of struggle coming out of my shell. It's a blessing that I had a Psychology student friend who helped me through the ordeal. But later I've realized that it was for my own betterment that I explored the hidden qualities about myself rather than staying in my little world. I need to tell myself that it's not always about me and about me feeling comfortable and unthreatened. We need to relate with people and sometimes it requires both of us meeting halfway in order to relate to one another. Paul says to "consider others better than yourselves" (Phil 2:3) which is a helpful reminder for me that it's not always about me.
Since the first day of class I've already noticed her loudness. Now there are people whose loudness are infectious and lits up a room. But there are people whose loudness go against them. I saw her as the latter. I've grown to become mellow, and being a thinker than a talker, I've come to be ruffled with too much noise especially when I'm concentrating. I admit that I've become subjective over her personality. Such is so with shallow acquaintances with people. And it is not good.
Doing the small group somehow unnerved me in relating to her. I've shared and realized for myself that everything boils down to relationship. Everyone of us have our own kinks that may ruffle someone's feathers. Without relationship it's easy to just express "what you really think" and readily throw that shallow relationship in the garbage. But I've realized that with relationship you grow more patient and more understanding with people. Your wall of stereotype over the person breaks down and realize that he/she is human like you and not just the person you see in face value. With relationship the issue deviates from who is right and who is wrong to the value of friendship. The realization of this has worked for me when relating to people. Somehow I keep myself from putting judgments over people and trying to know them, their story and how they're feeling. And I believe it is a good thing to do.
+
Paulo Coelho shares in his book "Like the Flowing River" a story told Shimon Perez over the World Economic Forum at Davos:
A Rabbi gathered together his students and asked them:
'How do we know that exact moment when night ends and day begins?'
'When it's light enough to tell a sheep from a dog,' said one boy.
Another student said: 'No, when it's light enough to tell an olive tree from a fig tree.'
'No, that's not a good definition either.'
'Well, what's the right answer?' asked the boys.
And the Rabbi said:
'When a stranger approaches, and we think he is our brother, and all conflicts disappear, that is the moment when night ends and day begins.'
Beautiful.
Day in the Life: I'm a walking virus right now.
It's almost 3AM. It's quite chilly inside my room. I'm wearing a jacket. I got up so I took some lukewarm water downstairs. It's been almost 5 days now since I got this trail of virus on me. We figured I got this from staying home the first two days. I got the allergy from dog's hair from our neighbor. By Saturday and Sunday I got sore throat and colds. Now the sore throat's gone but I still have colds and dry cough that it's really painful to cough. Later after class I'm already going to see the doctor.
I didn't realize school's wrapping up for Christmas vacation. It's as though classes just started a few weeks ago and now school's gonna be out for Christmas. Haven't been feeling the pressure of school yet. I'm currently more focused on doing projects which is great, and rendering final touches to our upcoming sectional youth camp.
Please do pray for me, my work and my ministry. Back to sleep.
I didn't realize school's wrapping up for Christmas vacation. It's as though classes just started a few weeks ago and now school's gonna be out for Christmas. Haven't been feeling the pressure of school yet. I'm currently more focused on doing projects which is great, and rendering final touches to our upcoming sectional youth camp.
Please do pray for me, my work and my ministry. Back to sleep.
Discontent
I was able to catch CNN Hero Awards on TV today. They honored Christopher Reeve with the Heroes' Hero award for his efforts to battle paralysis and help others going through the same experience as him. The award was received by their foundation's CEO and their two children. He's gone but his legacy lingers. Also his late wife Dana has to be admired also for walking alongside him. For some time now this has been speaking to me and it has spoken again. It will draw me sometime in the future. I can't really fully describe it. But let me explain it to the best of my ability.
For sometime now I've been drawn by the lives of people who go to the hurting and the lost--on the field. Sectarian or non-sectarian alike, I longed for that kind of involvement where the rubber meets the road. And I feel the church has barely touched that. We sit in the comforts of our sanctuaries, teaching and preaching, encouraging and reprimanding. We teach the principles of the Full Life Jesus commanded us. But yet I'm growing restless and discontent that we are gaining more intellectual wealth and rarely spend it in reaching the poor and the hurting. Don't misunderstand, the Gospel is the Gospel, they need Jesus and they need salvation. But I feel that I am not helping in bringing the essence of Full Life to others.
Full Life is the inspiration I've drawn to pursue in my life and for others. This is how I want to live my life and share it with others too. Jesus said, "I've come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Life is not all about spiritual discipline and victory. It's living the full life in all aspects of our lives. Chuck Quinley shares that there are eight areas of life we are living: Spiritual, family, career/studies, ministry, social, financial, health and personal life. And indeed I've realized that Jesus desires that every aspect of our life are to be fruitful, BALANCED and victorious--Christ-centered. Today I exist in an environment mediocre of such pursuit. I like what the announcer keeps on saying at the end of every Joyce Meyer podcast, "Remember, God desires that you truly start enjoying everyday life." Life is more that doctrine and keeping in with the rules that you miss enjoying it. Life should not be bound and limited by denominational lines and things-to-do checklists. Life is experiencing joy and victory in Jesus. This is the kind of life I want.
A friend lovingly reminded me early in the ministry not to settle for a powerless ministry life confined in the four-corners of tradition, legalism and routine. I thought I will never come to that. Yet today I feel I'm in one now.
"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor" (Luke 4:18-19). From the very words of the Master, he went and moved into our world to bring true transformation. From man's low condition he brought hope and true change. I began to question my work. Am I bringing true transformation in the lives I've touched? In the lives of the youth and the student's I've tried to minister to? Or did I just handed them an instant-candy-coated-Jesus that later they will take for granted and will deepen their cynicism about the true Giver of Life?
I admire the one who runs their church's orphanage, bringing a gleam of hope to scores of homeless and abandoned children. I admire the one who runs a feeding progam to the homeless so that they will refrain from sniffing the deceitful rubber adhesive just to feel full. I admire the one who helps young women find a decent living so they won't make their living on prostitution. It's more than emotionalism, even more than passion, it's commitment and calling. I don't want to be a hero. I want to be a USEFUL instrument. Lord, stir me towards Your heart ...
For sometime now I've been drawn by the lives of people who go to the hurting and the lost--on the field. Sectarian or non-sectarian alike, I longed for that kind of involvement where the rubber meets the road. And I feel the church has barely touched that. We sit in the comforts of our sanctuaries, teaching and preaching, encouraging and reprimanding. We teach the principles of the Full Life Jesus commanded us. But yet I'm growing restless and discontent that we are gaining more intellectual wealth and rarely spend it in reaching the poor and the hurting. Don't misunderstand, the Gospel is the Gospel, they need Jesus and they need salvation. But I feel that I am not helping in bringing the essence of Full Life to others.
Full Life is the inspiration I've drawn to pursue in my life and for others. This is how I want to live my life and share it with others too. Jesus said, "I've come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Life is not all about spiritual discipline and victory. It's living the full life in all aspects of our lives. Chuck Quinley shares that there are eight areas of life we are living: Spiritual, family, career/studies, ministry, social, financial, health and personal life. And indeed I've realized that Jesus desires that every aspect of our life are to be fruitful, BALANCED and victorious--Christ-centered. Today I exist in an environment mediocre of such pursuit. I like what the announcer keeps on saying at the end of every Joyce Meyer podcast, "Remember, God desires that you truly start enjoying everyday life." Life is more that doctrine and keeping in with the rules that you miss enjoying it. Life should not be bound and limited by denominational lines and things-to-do checklists. Life is experiencing joy and victory in Jesus. This is the kind of life I want.
A friend lovingly reminded me early in the ministry not to settle for a powerless ministry life confined in the four-corners of tradition, legalism and routine. I thought I will never come to that. Yet today I feel I'm in one now.
"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor" (Luke 4:18-19). From the very words of the Master, he went and moved into our world to bring true transformation. From man's low condition he brought hope and true change. I began to question my work. Am I bringing true transformation in the lives I've touched? In the lives of the youth and the student's I've tried to minister to? Or did I just handed them an instant-candy-coated-Jesus that later they will take for granted and will deepen their cynicism about the true Giver of Life?
I admire the one who runs their church's orphanage, bringing a gleam of hope to scores of homeless and abandoned children. I admire the one who runs a feeding progam to the homeless so that they will refrain from sniffing the deceitful rubber adhesive just to feel full. I admire the one who helps young women find a decent living so they won't make their living on prostitution. It's more than emotionalism, even more than passion, it's commitment and calling. I don't want to be a hero. I want to be a USEFUL instrument. Lord, stir me towards Your heart ...
Wringing Myself of Ideas
Yesterday was the bummest day. Sitting in front of the computer, getting up once in a while, thinking of an idea for a project. It's frustrating sometimes that I try to wring myself of ideas for my designs and nothing comes out. I don't want to settle for mediocre design. I want something well thought of. Slept early so I could start again today.
Project 2010
For sometime now I’m driven to set for myself goals for year 2010. I believe that 2010 will be a NEW ERA of life and ministry for me. This is what’s impressed in my heart. So before the year turns anew I’ve set for myself goals I want to achieve in two years time:
- Finish my masters course in ASCM
- Get married
- Raise 20 healthy Carecells under my leadership
- Pass the torch of Section 2 Youth
- New ministry direction
Day in the Life
(Original post: Yesterday)
Very long day today. Woke up today at around 8AM. Today is my campus ministry day. But I didn’t feel like going to the campus today. I am a bit discouraged about the low turnout in our ministry at CCM. Nevertheless I still went, late by an hour. I found our company by the upper staircase at the back of the school. Annie’s discipling Millie, her classmate and a new Christian. She began attending our Saturday Carecells and Sunday service last week which was great because I think it’s a big step for her to becoming committed to Jesus. Netty’s also doing one-on-one with a student she was able to share faith with last week. Me, I had nothing to do. I was able to find the guys I’ve made friends with last week, but this time they were cold towards me, like “we’re not close”. I don’t wanna appear clingy so I thought “OK fine” and moved on. There are still more students to talk to. But inside me I’m growing frustrated about my work in CCM. Perhaps “discontented” would be a better word. But anyway, by lunchtime, Netty and I went to see Ate Merla at the staff house for lunch.
We dropped by SM Manila to buy pasalubong for Ate Merla & Joan. She invited us to lunch there. We arrived there around 12:30. After lunch I began to feel sleepy (which have been recently happening to me when I finish a meal), so I borrowed a sleeping mat and dozed off by the living area floor while Netty, Ate Merla and Joan chatted the whole afternoon. I woke up at around 4:30 in time for Ate Merla and Joan to go to their campus meeting in Morayta. We parted at Morayta and Netty and I went to Tutuban to pick up the tarpauline we had printed for our December camp. After that we weaved through the crowd in Divisoria to take a jeepney to Malate to have the camp IDs printed. After leaving the printing job for later pick-up we went to Robinson’s Manila for dinner. Both of us were craving for Jolibee Chickenjoy since the night before, so to Jolibee we went. After dinner I accompanied her to the FX station and bid our goodbye. Though it was a tiring day. It was a day well spent because I was with Netty.
Very long day today. Woke up today at around 8AM. Today is my campus ministry day. But I didn’t feel like going to the campus today. I am a bit discouraged about the low turnout in our ministry at CCM. Nevertheless I still went, late by an hour. I found our company by the upper staircase at the back of the school. Annie’s discipling Millie, her classmate and a new Christian. She began attending our Saturday Carecells and Sunday service last week which was great because I think it’s a big step for her to becoming committed to Jesus. Netty’s also doing one-on-one with a student she was able to share faith with last week. Me, I had nothing to do. I was able to find the guys I’ve made friends with last week, but this time they were cold towards me, like “we’re not close”. I don’t wanna appear clingy so I thought “OK fine” and moved on. There are still more students to talk to. But inside me I’m growing frustrated about my work in CCM. Perhaps “discontented” would be a better word. But anyway, by lunchtime, Netty and I went to see Ate Merla at the staff house for lunch.
We dropped by SM Manila to buy pasalubong for Ate Merla & Joan. She invited us to lunch there. We arrived there around 12:30. After lunch I began to feel sleepy (which have been recently happening to me when I finish a meal), so I borrowed a sleeping mat and dozed off by the living area floor while Netty, Ate Merla and Joan chatted the whole afternoon. I woke up at around 4:30 in time for Ate Merla and Joan to go to their campus meeting in Morayta. We parted at Morayta and Netty and I went to Tutuban to pick up the tarpauline we had printed for our December camp. After that we weaved through the crowd in Divisoria to take a jeepney to Malate to have the camp IDs printed. After leaving the printing job for later pick-up we went to Robinson’s Manila for dinner. Both of us were craving for Jolibee Chickenjoy since the night before, so to Jolibee we went. After dinner I accompanied her to the FX station and bid our goodbye. Though it was a tiring day. It was a day well spent because I was with Netty.
Pilot: I'm Moving Back
I’m moving from Multiply. I feel the world’s getting smaller and smaller over there. I need a place to express myself, speak my mind and reflect. That’s why I’m moving here. I named this blog “New Every Morning” (Melancholeric 3.0) because I want it to be hopeful and positive, though I can’t promise every post will be that. Just something to remind me to look at the good side of things. “New Every Morning” because who I am and where I am is all because of His pro-active, initiating grace.
I Will See You Again
It was dark on the way to the mountainside, but even darker are the hearts of whose feet that follow Him as Their master lays his final words, hours before his arrest. Light does shine the brightest in the darkest of places. In the midst of grief, a ounce of light, a promise from the One who matters, "I will see you again." John 16:22, "I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you."
This promise echoes hope today in the darkest times in our life. "I will see you again." A postcard from the past that bursts with eager anticipation. It takes us higher to see that life does not end in defeat, even mediocre contentment, for the one who follows him devotedly. On that day, on that day, oh what a joy! Because at long last we have finished the great amazing race, we have kept the faith. I couldn't even picture that moment when we finally see him. There won't be a dry eye, tears shed only because of unspeakable joy. The Celebration then has just begun.
John 16:33, "In the world you have tribulation, but take courage, I have overcome the world."
We are overcomers, conquerors, victors in Christ!
"There Will Come A Day" by Faith Hill
There's a better place where our Father waits
And every tear He'll wipe away
The darkness will be gone, the weak shall be strong
Hold on to your faith!
There will come a day
The song will ring out down those golden streets
The voices of earth with the angels singing
Every knee will bow, sin will have no trace in the glory of His amazing grace
There will come a day!
Starstruck
It was quite a very interesting and rare night for us tonight. Netty and I went to the premier of the evangelistic movie Rebound this evening at Victory Christian Fellowship in Robinsons Galleria. I was given complimentary tickets because I made the movie website (please check it out). Anyway, as we went down the basement parking, I had a hard time looking for one until I found a guy hurrying to his car, so I put my flashers on. And imagine our surprise when we recognized who it was... it was Piolo Pascual! Perhaps he was came from the evening service of VCF. Netty was like sayang we didn't get a chance to see him longer. And I was like, "I just took the place of Piolo's car..." (insert starstruck Anime eyes, hehe). After that episode, we went to the cinema, we found some friends who were already on the queue and took our seats. And then Gary Valenciano and family show up and took the seats in front of us. As in naistarstruck kame. I could literally just stretch out my hand and call his attention. They were there to support his son Gabriel because he's the lead of the movie. Ala lang, just wanted to share ... starstruck siguro. And praise God because these guys people of great influence in media have come to know Christ and more and more people from that field are getting to know Him.
The Gospel According to Jackie Chan
I was watching Late Night with Conan today and he had Jackie Chan on the show. I thought this was gonna be good. Conan introduces him and as he enters from the curtains and everyone just cheered on him. Conan comments that there’s something about Jackie Chan that his presence always lights up any room. And indeed I was smiling and laughing watching the interview because he’s fun-loving, animated and very positive person. He truly lights up every room. Positive—He’s happiness infectious, that every person that he connects with is charged up with that energy. I thought if only we could be more like that. That in every person we try to connect with we leave a trace of God’s radiance and goodness—because we are mere reflectors of His glory. Just as salt that influences the food it touches and a light that influences any room. We are agents to influence any dire, gloomy or apathetic situation. We reflect that Light. A Light that is more infectious than raw positive thinking and meditation, it’s His radiance, Him who came to bring people Life—a life that is full, happy and complete. Are we putting that Light to good use?
You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. – Jesus, Matthew 5:14-16 (The Message)
Day in the Life: Long Day
It's been a long day today. Today is my campus ministry day. Surprisingly woke up at 7AM by myself (snaps for me) and started preparing for my campus visit in CCM. Took a quick shower and tricycle my way to LRT.
I arrived at CCM around 10AM and our smallgroup is already waiting for me. It was a great first smallgroup meeting this semester. Had a great time catching up and sharing and encouraging one another. Netty followed around 11AM. By 12 noon we went to CEU to visit a youth of mine to catch up on each other's lives over lunch. I haven't seen her for quite a while so Netty and I were so happy to see her telling her that she was "blooming" which was not bola but true. Around 2PM, we were to meet Ate Merla in a student center in Morayta. I figured it should be in United Baptist Church, because they had a large youth center. I was glad to find out that the Doulos (Ship) Team was holding a booksale in the student center. And this time majority of the books were inspirational and cheaper. We met Ate Merla with her friends there. Turns out that that was not the student center they were using but the one over the FEU side. After buying some books, we headed there to spend sometime to catch up with friends. By 4PM, we went back to CCM with the intention to get to know new students and share faith with them which turned out pretty well.
After a long day's work (with all the sun and smoke, we look and smelled un-fresh already), we went to Glorietta to have dinner and catch a movie (One More Chance :). On the way there, Netty surprised me with a WordSearch book, that I wanted to buy when we were in Doulos (It was so sweeet of her). Arriving there we discovered that the queue to the move was so long since it was 1st day of showing so we figured to just have dinner and coffee. We were able to see Netty's friends (Christian, Daniel, Claire and Jen) and shared a dinner at World Chicken. They went off to see Beowulf and Netty and I went to Starbucks to have coffee. She's eagerly collecting this years Starbucks planner :) It was my first time this season to have a hot cup of Peppermint Mocha which was very exciting. Then we took the word search book and had a little competition on answering the most hidden words. It was a quality time moment :) After coffee I took her home and stayed a little longer watching PBB. Arrived home at 11:30PM blessed and thankful.
Blessed and Thankful that ...
I arrived at CCM around 10AM and our smallgroup is already waiting for me. It was a great first smallgroup meeting this semester. Had a great time catching up and sharing and encouraging one another. Netty followed around 11AM. By 12 noon we went to CEU to visit a youth of mine to catch up on each other's lives over lunch. I haven't seen her for quite a while so Netty and I were so happy to see her telling her that she was "blooming" which was not bola but true. Around 2PM, we were to meet Ate Merla in a student center in Morayta. I figured it should be in United Baptist Church, because they had a large youth center. I was glad to find out that the Doulos (Ship) Team was holding a booksale in the student center. And this time majority of the books were inspirational and cheaper. We met Ate Merla with her friends there. Turns out that that was not the student center they were using but the one over the FEU side. After buying some books, we headed there to spend sometime to catch up with friends. By 4PM, we went back to CCM with the intention to get to know new students and share faith with them which turned out pretty well.
After a long day's work (with all the sun and smoke, we look and smelled un-fresh already), we went to Glorietta to have dinner and catch a movie (One More Chance :). On the way there, Netty surprised me with a WordSearch book, that I wanted to buy when we were in Doulos (It was so sweeet of her). Arriving there we discovered that the queue to the move was so long since it was 1st day of showing so we figured to just have dinner and coffee. We were able to see Netty's friends (Christian, Daniel, Claire and Jen) and shared a dinner at World Chicken. They went off to see Beowulf and Netty and I went to Starbucks to have coffee. She's eagerly collecting this years Starbucks planner :) It was my first time this season to have a hot cup of Peppermint Mocha which was very exciting. Then we took the word search book and had a little competition on answering the most hidden words. It was a quality time moment :) After coffee I took her home and stayed a little longer watching PBB. Arrived home at 11:30PM blessed and thankful.
Blessed and Thankful that ...
- I received a new project after a friend of the Rebound Movie staff saw the site. Thankful for the projects He's sending me.
- I am able to connect with students and young people and being able to minister to them.
- Thankful for the company of Netty. A real encourager and encouragement, equally passionate about young people and full of grace even after a whole day's work.
2nd Semester @ CCM
2nd semester is here again. Today Netty and I went to CCM to visit our Bible study group and do some evangelism survey. There aren't alot of students yet just a handful. We were able to know a few students from Computer Science college. And we were able to see our Bible study group. We're meeting again, this time Wednesdays at 10AM. We'll be there the whole day Wednesdays. Before we left, rain came pouring down really hard. We stayed at SM Manila for a while. Then proceed to accompany Netty to the FX station. It's like highschool all over again (Pahatid hatid sa sakayan, kasi bawal sa house hehe). I'm really blessed to have Netty in my life and it's an added reward that I could do ministry with her. Our bible study group of 4th years students from Political Science will soon enter the working world. Thankful that all of them passed their thesis and two pairs of thesis partners from our group got the top 2 highest thesis grades. Praying that this semester will be fruitful for all of us in CCM. :)
Day in the life: Glorietta After
- It's back to school for me here at ASCM. I'm enrolled to two subjects whose professors "hindi ko masakyan." One subject perhaps the better one is Counselling with Dr. Zonia Tappeiner, but she's still not in 'til next week. Mondays and Tuesdays are my school days.
- Finally I got to see Netty after 8 days. We saw Rendition. Good movie.
- Sad to discover that Jolibee's Amazing Aloha is phased out again. Do only few people really appreciate Amazing Aloha??
- Happy to see that finally Starbucks' Christmas Blends are back! (My favorite is peppermint mocha)
- It's my first time to visit Glorietta after the explosion that killed 11 people and injured scores. Glorietta 2 is still closed. The stalls on the hallway that goes through Landmark is closed on one side. Even though the mall is trying to pull in its patrons through sales and Christmas decors the shadow of that sad Friday afternoon looms. There were only few people around. Shops close earlier. And the security check-ups take longer. It's a gloomy feeling altogether, and it's Christmas season. "Lord, teach us to number our days aright" (Ps. 90:12).
Compassion Wanted
Jonah 4:11, "Should I not have compassion on Nineveh, the great city in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know the difference between their right and left hand, as well as many animals?"
This was God's answer to Jonah, after he proclaimed God's judgment to the wicked Assyrian capital city of Niniveh. But because the whole city repented, God relented its destruction. And this made Jonah really, really disappointed.
"Was not this what I said while I was still in my own country? Therefore in order to forestall this I fled to Tarshish, for I knew that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, and one who relents concerning calamity." (Jonah 4:2)
Many times we let the comforts of religiosity make our faith stale and stagnant rather than letting it flow, expressed to ripple off. We forget the compassion rendered upon us by the Lord "while we were yet sinners". We readily label the supposed less closer to God to a point of disgusting self-righteousness. But our lack of compassion and genuine concern just reveals that we are no more enlightened and transformed than them. We fail to see that more than statistics they are victims in need of a Savior like we were once.
John 3:17, "For God did not send the Son to judge the world, but the world might be saved through Him."
Lord, may I reflect your compassion for the hurting, the blind, and the weary. Fan the flame of compassion and the burden for the lost, the students and the young people. Let it grow stronger. Search me and mold me.
This was God's answer to Jonah, after he proclaimed God's judgment to the wicked Assyrian capital city of Niniveh. But because the whole city repented, God relented its destruction. And this made Jonah really, really disappointed.
"Was not this what I said while I was still in my own country? Therefore in order to forestall this I fled to Tarshish, for I knew that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, and one who relents concerning calamity." (Jonah 4:2)
Many times we let the comforts of religiosity make our faith stale and stagnant rather than letting it flow, expressed to ripple off. We forget the compassion rendered upon us by the Lord "while we were yet sinners". We readily label the supposed less closer to God to a point of disgusting self-righteousness. But our lack of compassion and genuine concern just reveals that we are no more enlightened and transformed than them. We fail to see that more than statistics they are victims in need of a Savior like we were once.
John 3:17, "For God did not send the Son to judge the world, but the world might be saved through Him."
Lord, may I reflect your compassion for the hurting, the blind, and the weary. Fan the flame of compassion and the burden for the lost, the students and the young people. Let it grow stronger. Search me and mold me.
Nasugbu Visit
Finally after a week's hustle and bustle, I'm nailed to the house. Finishing my message for tomorrow. This week's been surprisingly hectic. I thought finally I will have rest after last weeks nightly seminars at church. But projects have been queueing, thank God, on the downside I'm still adjusting to the abnormal sleeping habits of sleeping late. I feel the work stress has been affecting my body, I'm experiencing problems with my stomach and my eyes. I want to get myself checked up next week.
Tuesday was a break from work when I and Welfert went to Nasugbu to coordinate the cooking team for the camp. We figured it would be easier to get the help of a local church to do the cooking for us instead of bringing a team from Manila. But anyways, it was a rainy-cold trip to Nasugbu. And we're welcomed like VIPs. A taste of local Batangas hospitality. It was such a blessing and a breather for me to witness such dedicated and inspiring ministers of the Lord. Especially Ptra. Carumba who was our contact. She has already grandchildren, but her raw passion for the Lord is evident by her age. It was a blessing listening to her stories back in BBC and Manila Faith, also her ministry stories during Martial Law. It's like saying to me, ministry doesn't start and end with me, we're just all part of God's story in His effort to reconcile men to God through Jesus. Ministry wasn't born yesterday. God has been using people even before I was born and it wouldn't stop when I die (So it's like okay to get some break sometimes! :) Indeed it is not about us. We also met Ptr. Mike Anciado, a young Nth generation pastor of Nasugbu First AG. We visited their newly renovated church. They have this wall of old and new pictures showing the growth of the church. Indeed the trip was a slice of history lesson.
Tuesday was a break from work when I and Welfert went to Nasugbu to coordinate the cooking team for the camp. We figured it would be easier to get the help of a local church to do the cooking for us instead of bringing a team from Manila. But anyways, it was a rainy-cold trip to Nasugbu. And we're welcomed like VIPs. A taste of local Batangas hospitality. It was such a blessing and a breather for me to witness such dedicated and inspiring ministers of the Lord. Especially Ptra. Carumba who was our contact. She has already grandchildren, but her raw passion for the Lord is evident by her age. It was a blessing listening to her stories back in BBC and Manila Faith, also her ministry stories during Martial Law. It's like saying to me, ministry doesn't start and end with me, we're just all part of God's story in His effort to reconcile men to God through Jesus. Ministry wasn't born yesterday. God has been using people even before I was born and it wouldn't stop when I die (So it's like okay to get some break sometimes! :) Indeed it is not about us. We also met Ptr. Mike Anciado, a young Nth generation pastor of Nasugbu First AG. We visited their newly renovated church. They have this wall of old and new pictures showing the growth of the church. Indeed the trip was a slice of history lesson.
Yesterday's Crazy Schedule and Bombing
Satuday. We just concluded a 15 hour (5 nights) seminar on Carecells. A group of Singaporeans from Trinity Christian Center came down for ministry exposure. They were here last May through Chi Alpha and we also got to know them and build friendship with them. I wrote before the one word that I would describe them is DRIVEN, they are still now. They've never lost their passion, it was a LIFESTYLE. I have learned so much from them.
Looong day yesterday, slept at 3AM because of a project (Subpix posters). 10AM I was already in Robinsons Place Manila for cellgroup consultation with Ptr. Edwin & Ptr. Carmelo. At 12, went to Alva to print the posters I made. This wasn't supposed to be my job (to print my design for the client) but the client is so busy that he cannot do it, so he just paid me for the effort & the gas. While waiting to print, I was in KFC taking my lunch. Then I got a text that Glorietta 2 was bombed. At first I was skeptic, but another text came confirming the incident. And I was going to Makati. 3PM I picked up the posters and head for Makati. Turned on the AM Radio and listened as the tragedy unfold.
It's devastating what fear can do to you. If there's one thing I learned about the incident yesterday is that these people who did this sowed fear to the people. Fear immobilizes you. Nails you that you keep yourself from moving forward. It creates paranoia. Just listening to the reports as it came in, it gave a sense of fear for your safety. I heard someone say that fear is the number one weapon of the devil. He'll keep you frozen to move on. He'll sow thoughs of "what if's" so you won't pursue God's plan altogether. But God didn't give us a spirit of timidity, but the Spirit of boldness, love and a sound mind. Love drives away fear. It's like light vs. darkness. Ptr. Edwin says that light NEVER wrestles with darkness, darkness just flees whenever light comes. That's what love does.
There's a point where you could choose to continue listening and continue to be fearful or just leave it. I mean I already got the facts, and the news just keeps on repeating. So at one point even if it was difficult to switch from the news, I turned on the CD player and played and listened to some God-songs. 4PM I delivered the posters in Makati Avenue. 5PM I picked up Ptr. Edwin and Ptr. Carmelo from Hospicio de San Jose (they visited an orphanage the whole afternoon) and when went to church. After the seminar, I treat them for a Chinese dinner in Ongpin (they've been treating me for a couple of nights). I dropped them in their hotel by 11PM and got home and talked to Netty by Netty tells me I am not Superman. True. Earlier Ptr. Edwin shared that Singaporeans are crazy planners, they do things by the second. I am also like that at times. And I'm trying to start working on my inhumane schedule. After a few hours finally I got a well-deserved sleep.
Looong day yesterday, slept at 3AM because of a project (Subpix posters). 10AM I was already in Robinsons Place Manila for cellgroup consultation with Ptr. Edwin & Ptr. Carmelo. At 12, went to Alva to print the posters I made. This wasn't supposed to be my job (to print my design for the client) but the client is so busy that he cannot do it, so he just paid me for the effort & the gas. While waiting to print, I was in KFC taking my lunch. Then I got a text that Glorietta 2 was bombed. At first I was skeptic, but another text came confirming the incident. And I was going to Makati. 3PM I picked up the posters and head for Makati. Turned on the AM Radio and listened as the tragedy unfold.
It's devastating what fear can do to you. If there's one thing I learned about the incident yesterday is that these people who did this sowed fear to the people. Fear immobilizes you. Nails you that you keep yourself from moving forward. It creates paranoia. Just listening to the reports as it came in, it gave a sense of fear for your safety. I heard someone say that fear is the number one weapon of the devil. He'll keep you frozen to move on. He'll sow thoughs of "what if's" so you won't pursue God's plan altogether. But God didn't give us a spirit of timidity, but the Spirit of boldness, love and a sound mind. Love drives away fear. It's like light vs. darkness. Ptr. Edwin says that light NEVER wrestles with darkness, darkness just flees whenever light comes. That's what love does.
There's a point where you could choose to continue listening and continue to be fearful or just leave it. I mean I already got the facts, and the news just keeps on repeating. So at one point even if it was difficult to switch from the news, I turned on the CD player and played and listened to some God-songs. 4PM I delivered the posters in Makati Avenue. 5PM I picked up Ptr. Edwin and Ptr. Carmelo from Hospicio de San Jose (they visited an orphanage the whole afternoon) and when went to church. After the seminar, I treat them for a Chinese dinner in Ongpin (they've been treating me for a couple of nights). I dropped them in their hotel by 11PM and got home and talked to Netty by Netty tells me I am not Superman. True. Earlier Ptr. Edwin shared that Singaporeans are crazy planners, they do things by the second. I am also like that at times. And I'm trying to start working on my inhumane schedule. After a few hours finally I got a well-deserved sleep.
Day in the Life
Today I was able to finally able to get some good rest after last week's rush of work, ministry and in-betweens. I dozed by 9PM and woke up around 10AM--a gud 13 hours of sleep. But I still feel a bit weak (no energy) I figured this was because I stopped lifting weights. My tummy's getting bigger (again). So I need to get back on a regular routine exercise. Over the weekend I was able to finish a project. But there's more to do for this week. The Singaporeans from Trinity Christian Center are back again and this time they are doing trainings for five evenings (6-9PM) at our church that started tonight. Nice to see Ptr. Edwin and Ptr. Carmelo again. And tonight's seminar about Spiritual Parenting was very meaty and helpful. I need to get back on blogging. But for now, gotta sleep.
If you will not tell them, how will they know?
"If you listen you'll hear it
A call to the nations
to show forth your praises
to every tongue, tribe and nation
If you will not tell them
How will they know
That there's joy in my presence
Like they've never known
Bring them into My presence
Let them worship before My throne"
Woke up to this song by Don Moen entitled "This is My Holy Place" (it's a very old song). Does anyone else know this song?
A call to the nations
to show forth your praises
to every tongue, tribe and nation
If you will not tell them
How will they know
That there's joy in my presence
Like they've never known
Bring them into My presence
Let them worship before My throne"
Woke up to this song by Don Moen entitled "This is My Holy Place" (it's a very old song). Does anyone else know this song?
Breakfast
Woke up today quite late already. Before last night, I only had 7 hours of sleep for two days. It's busy days at work. Today I woke up and mom prepared breakfast for me. I thank God for my mom. Like I said before, the family and my friends are manifestations of God's grace and love in my life.Birthday Prayer
26 years. I may have come a long way, age-wise and some, but not to the point of contentment. In fact I consider myself yet far from the goal I've been pursuing, the goal of perfect peace and intimacy with my Father.
Lord, my prayer for my birthday is another 26 years of hot pursuit for You. Again, Lord, I want to follow hard after You. Forgive me if there are still lapses in my walk with You, I am alone at fault. In these unfaithful moments may Your precious grace abound. Lord preserve me, make me holy in the truest sense of Your Word.
Indeed Father You don't owe me anything, but in Your perfect love You chose to pursue me, even sometimes I think as if I deserve to be blessed. Who are you to think that your service outshine and outweigh His selfless outpouring of life and blood on the cross? Lord let Thou increase and I decrease. I am but a servant. Lord, give me opportunities to live out Your image one day at a time.
Thank You, Lord, for people who constantly love and care for me--one of Your truest and most practical manifestations of blessing and grace in my life. Remind me to always cherish them always and not to take them for granted. I ask Father that You preserve my family in Your grace and blessing and my future wife, preserve us both until that blessed day.
Lord, my prayer for my birthday is another 26 years of hot pursuit for You. Again, Lord, I want to follow hard after You. Forgive me if there are still lapses in my walk with You, I am alone at fault. In these unfaithful moments may Your precious grace abound. Lord preserve me, make me holy in the truest sense of Your Word.
Indeed Father You don't owe me anything, but in Your perfect love You chose to pursue me, even sometimes I think as if I deserve to be blessed. Who are you to think that your service outshine and outweigh His selfless outpouring of life and blood on the cross? Lord let Thou increase and I decrease. I am but a servant. Lord, give me opportunities to live out Your image one day at a time.
Thank You, Lord, for people who constantly love and care for me--one of Your truest and most practical manifestations of blessing and grace in my life. Remind me to always cherish them always and not to take them for granted. I ask Father that You preserve my family in Your grace and blessing and my future wife, preserve us both until that blessed day.
I Started A Joke ...
A very funny and interesting thing happened this afternoon during my Carecell. We ordered a large 18" yellow cab NY pizza cris-cut for Carecell. It was big and really good, it was done in less than an hour except for the last small piece. A partially "bald" slice with much of the surface is the edge of the crust.
It has been a way for us to refrain from eating the last piece of morsel on the table out of modesty. It's like when you eat the last piece the implications are a bit foolish but harsh. One would think he would be perceived by the people with him as a glutton and self-centered, by not giving way for others to have the last piece. So it becomes an endless finger-pointing telling the other person "you take the last piece."
So in order for this to end, I proposed a game that we would play kompyang or maalis-alis (black versus white). And the last one who remains finishes the slice. As we begin, it came into my mind that there was a donut that has been sitting on the fridge for over the week now from last week's worship team practice, also fell victim of the last-piece-curse. It was glazed with chocolate, frozen cold. I raised the bar of the game higher: The last two who will remain should play rock-paper-scissors and whoever wins gets to choose what the loser will eat between the last pizza and the cold donut.
So we began to play, with each turn the number of players got fewer until guess who were the last two to remain: Zarah Grace and me. The youth pastor and the youth president. And so there it was, me and Zarah Grace head to head for the power to choose who will eat what. And both of us knew that we don't wanna eat the cold donut. The game was race to three. Zarah got the first score, I got the next two, Zarah got the next. It was a tie. My rock lost to Zarah's paper. It was very funny, We were laughing our hearts out because my plan backfired. So I ended up eating the cold donut to the cheer of my members. I said to myself, "Humor talaga ni Lord o!" He knows I'm bad at losing games.
It has been a way for us to refrain from eating the last piece of morsel on the table out of modesty. It's like when you eat the last piece the implications are a bit foolish but harsh. One would think he would be perceived by the people with him as a glutton and self-centered, by not giving way for others to have the last piece. So it becomes an endless finger-pointing telling the other person "you take the last piece."
So in order for this to end, I proposed a game that we would play kompyang or maalis-alis (black versus white). And the last one who remains finishes the slice. As we begin, it came into my mind that there was a donut that has been sitting on the fridge for over the week now from last week's worship team practice, also fell victim of the last-piece-curse. It was glazed with chocolate, frozen cold. I raised the bar of the game higher: The last two who will remain should play rock-paper-scissors and whoever wins gets to choose what the loser will eat between the last pizza and the cold donut.
So we began to play, with each turn the number of players got fewer until guess who were the last two to remain: Zarah Grace and me. The youth pastor and the youth president. And so there it was, me and Zarah Grace head to head for the power to choose who will eat what. And both of us knew that we don't wanna eat the cold donut. The game was race to three. Zarah got the first score, I got the next two, Zarah got the next. It was a tie. My rock lost to Zarah's paper. It was very funny, We were laughing our hearts out because my plan backfired. So I ended up eating the cold donut to the cheer of my members. I said to myself, "Humor talaga ni Lord o!" He knows I'm bad at losing games.
An Early Surprise
This afternoon my Friday Carecell group in City College of Manila gave me a surprise birthday celebration planned by Netty and Annie. I was really surprised because they hid it well, although I was kinda feeling 'something's not right'. Netty bought a Red Ribbon black forest cake, and Annie gave me a large collage of birthday wishes from their group. I was really, really blessed by the love received. I realize that ultimately it is God who is touching me through them. I remember my recent meditation on scripture saying not to give up in doing good even sometimes you lose heart and feel like giving up because in due time we will reap a reward. If my God could give me something like what we had this afternoon (more than the gifts and cakes), how much more when finaly I will be rewarded with His fellowship in His kingdom. "No eye has seen and no ear has heard what God has in store for those who love Him."
Not Giving Up Just Yet
"The one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. [So] let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary" (Galatians 6:8-9)
Life is not in pursuit of the future without looking into the past. As we live our lives every day, every hour, every second, we sow the seeds of which in due time we will reap--they will catch up on us. And it's simple math. Sow to one's flesh and reap your own corruption. Sow to the Spirit--invest your life to Him, walk by Him (Gal 5:16)--and we will reap our long-fought-for reward. It's a lonesome waste giving up so soon for something we have fought for, bled for, got up again for (after the enemy's blow to keep us from pursuing deep in our hearts is the real deal.) The good that we do, no matter what the situation tells us at face value, will never return barren. The good we have sown will soon grow and flourish and benefit life. Never lose heart. It doesn't hurt to gather up one's strength and push some more, because it is worth fighting for. He awaits that day, when finally He welcomes us and say, "Son, you've finally made it through and I am well-pleased (or I am proud of you.)"
Life is not in pursuit of the future without looking into the past. As we live our lives every day, every hour, every second, we sow the seeds of which in due time we will reap--they will catch up on us. And it's simple math. Sow to one's flesh and reap your own corruption. Sow to the Spirit--invest your life to Him, walk by Him (Gal 5:16)--and we will reap our long-fought-for reward. It's a lonesome waste giving up so soon for something we have fought for, bled for, got up again for (after the enemy's blow to keep us from pursuing deep in our hearts is the real deal.) The good that we do, no matter what the situation tells us at face value, will never return barren. The good we have sown will soon grow and flourish and benefit life. Never lose heart. It doesn't hurt to gather up one's strength and push some more, because it is worth fighting for. He awaits that day, when finally He welcomes us and say, "Son, you've finally made it through and I am well-pleased (or I am proud of you.)"
The Zeal of Phinehas
Last Sunday I preached about Phinehas, a rarely heard young character from the book of Numbers (25). I decided to preach about him when I felt that sometimes as Filipinos we avoid confrontations, even if the issue badly needs one such as sin. Confrontations are good, just like most things, when used properly. This personally happened to me when one of the faithful students in our campus bible study got entagled with some dead serious sin. And I felt that as her pastor, I failed to address the issue though I did something about it. I felt that I didn't do much about it. Being outrun by too much "kindness", sparing harsh discipline and "it already happened, what can we do now?"
The Zeal of Phinehas
Scripture:
Proverbs 8:13, "To fear the Lord is to hate evil."
Numbers 25:10-13, "Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying “Phinehas … has turned My wrath from the sons of Israel in that he was jealous with My jealousy among them, so that I did not destroy the sons of Israel in My jealousy.” Therefore I say, “Behold, I give him My covenant of peace; and it shall be for him and his descendants after him, a covenant of a perpetual priesthood, because he was jealous for his God and made atonement for the sons of Israel.”
In Numbers 25, we find the Israelites crossing Moab and after Balak's failed attempt to curse Israel through the prophet Balaam (ch 24), he took an alternative to destroy Israel by sending Moab's most beautiful and sexiest women of the land to entice Israel to engage in lust and idol worship (Rev. 2:14). God was furious that He asked Moses to execute all guilty parties among Israel. But there was one rebellious son of one of the tribe leader who in his defiant stance brought a Midianite woman into his tent in the sight of Moses and all Israel. Then the focus zooms to a young man named Phinehas. We read in Numbers 25:7-9:
"When Phinehas the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, saw it, he arose from the midst of the congregation and took a spear in his hand, and he went after the man of Israel into the tent and pierced both of them through, the man of Israel and the woman, through the body. So the plague on the sons of Israel was checked. Those who died by the plague were 24,000." (Numbers 25:7-9)
God was very impressed with Phinehas action that He said to Moses,
"Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying “Phinehas … has turned My wrath from the sons of Israel in that he was jealous with My jealousy among them, so that I did not destroy the sons of Israel in My jealousy.” Therefore I say, “Behold, I give him My covenant of peace; and it shall be for him and his descendants after him, a covenant of a perpetual priesthood, because he was jealous for his God and made atonement for the sons of Israel.” (Numbers 25:10-13)
Phinehas had a lot of Z.E.A.L.:
Phinehas had ZERO-TOLERANCE for sin
He loved God so much that he despised sin in the same manner as God. God said Phinehas was "jealous for My jealousy." Phinehas didn't turn the blind-eye when he saw this upfront defiance against God's law. Proverbs 8:13 say, "to fear the Lord is to hate evil." Living in a fallen world always challenges our "fear of the Lord" when we compromise our stance against issues, turn the blind-eye against injustice and evil especially when we have a power to do something about it, and moreover when we are deceived by our own pet sins (Psalm 36:1-2, Proverbs 9:17-18). The true test for every believer is his displeasure towards sin and anything that is evil (1 John 2:15-17).
When we are tempted to take in temptations and nurse sin in our lives let us take God's prescription for Moses:
Numbers 25:4, "The Lord said to Moses, “Take all the leaders of the people and execute them in broad daylight before the Lord, so that the fierce anger of the Lord may turn away from Israel.”
God was pleased with Phinehas because he took initiative by atoning (appeasing) for the sin in behalf of the sons of Israel. God said, “Behold, I give him My covenant ... because he ... made atonement for the sons of Israel” (Numbers 25:12-13). He didn't wait for someone to do it, he didn't ask someone to do it, nor he didn't wait for someone to tell him to do it. And because of his initiative to execute God's righteousness in the camp, the plagued finally ended, but 24,000 unnecessary casualties had already occured.
Jesus himself tells us that if a brother or a sister sins, we must go and show him his fault in private so that he will realize his fault. Sometimes the truth hurts, but like a bitter medicine it needs to be ingested. Paul adds to this when he warns us that we must speak the truth "in love."
Phinehas ACTED upon his convictions
It's interesting that throughout the story we didn't hear a single word uttered by Phinehas. We only saw him as he moved about and execute God's judgment on the defiant couple. Verse 7-8, "he saw ... he arose from the congregation ... he took a spear ... he ran after the man ... he pierced both of them ..." He was a man of action. While others were weeping (v. 6), he acted and became the solution. He was someone you can depend on when the going got tough. Sometimes when faced with stubborn sin among our family, friends and even ourselves, we sheepishly and silently protest, "weeping" and mourning, instead of acting upon what we know in God's Word. God is looking for men to stand in the gap (Ez 22:23-30) who will "stop the plague" of sin from spreading and destroying the lives of those who harbor it and the people around them.
Finally, Phinehas was LOYAL to his God
Phinehas was God's number one fan. The bottom line is Phinehas loved God so much that whatever God loves, he loves, whatever God hates, he hates, no questions whatsoever. God was pleased with Phinehas because he was "jealous for My jealousy." Now isn't jealousy such a negative attitude for a good God to have? But the Bible is quite clear about it, our God is a jealous God. Webster defines jealousy as "lacking permissive attitude towards rivalry or unfaithfulness". So what is God jealous about? Let us read what He said when He handed out the 10 commandments to Moses:
Deuteronomy 5:8-10, “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
God is madly jealous for us when we set up idols. Now perhaps we already realize that idols are not just statues people pray to but objects or people who takes more priority in our life than God, whether it's money, fame, friends or boy/girlfriends. Do we have idols in our life that provoke our God to be madly jealous for You? The best way to keep ourselves from anything that takes us away from Him is to draw nearer and closer to God.
Phinehas was full of Z.E.A.L.:
The Zeal of Phinehas
Scripture:
Proverbs 8:13, "To fear the Lord is to hate evil."
Numbers 25:10-13, "Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying “Phinehas … has turned My wrath from the sons of Israel in that he was jealous with My jealousy among them, so that I did not destroy the sons of Israel in My jealousy.” Therefore I say, “Behold, I give him My covenant of peace; and it shall be for him and his descendants after him, a covenant of a perpetual priesthood, because he was jealous for his God and made atonement for the sons of Israel.”
In Numbers 25, we find the Israelites crossing Moab and after Balak's failed attempt to curse Israel through the prophet Balaam (ch 24), he took an alternative to destroy Israel by sending Moab's most beautiful and sexiest women of the land to entice Israel to engage in lust and idol worship (Rev. 2:14). God was furious that He asked Moses to execute all guilty parties among Israel. But there was one rebellious son of one of the tribe leader who in his defiant stance brought a Midianite woman into his tent in the sight of Moses and all Israel. Then the focus zooms to a young man named Phinehas. We read in Numbers 25:7-9:
"When Phinehas the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, saw it, he arose from the midst of the congregation and took a spear in his hand, and he went after the man of Israel into the tent and pierced both of them through, the man of Israel and the woman, through the body. So the plague on the sons of Israel was checked. Those who died by the plague were 24,000." (Numbers 25:7-9)
God was very impressed with Phinehas action that He said to Moses,
"Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying “Phinehas … has turned My wrath from the sons of Israel in that he was jealous with My jealousy among them, so that I did not destroy the sons of Israel in My jealousy.” Therefore I say, “Behold, I give him My covenant of peace; and it shall be for him and his descendants after him, a covenant of a perpetual priesthood, because he was jealous for his God and made atonement for the sons of Israel.” (Numbers 25:10-13)
Phinehas had a lot of Z.E.A.L.:
Phinehas had ZERO-TOLERANCE for sin
He loved God so much that he despised sin in the same manner as God. God said Phinehas was "jealous for My jealousy." Phinehas didn't turn the blind-eye when he saw this upfront defiance against God's law. Proverbs 8:13 say, "to fear the Lord is to hate evil." Living in a fallen world always challenges our "fear of the Lord" when we compromise our stance against issues, turn the blind-eye against injustice and evil especially when we have a power to do something about it, and moreover when we are deceived by our own pet sins (Psalm 36:1-2, Proverbs 9:17-18). The true test for every believer is his displeasure towards sin and anything that is evil (1 John 2:15-17).
When we are tempted to take in temptations and nurse sin in our lives let us take God's prescription for Moses:
Numbers 25:4, "The Lord said to Moses, “Take all the leaders of the people and execute them in broad daylight before the Lord, so that the fierce anger of the Lord may turn away from Israel.”
- Take the leaders and execute them … stay away from/eliminate anyone or anything that causes or leads you to sin.
- In broad daylight … expose it in broad daylight so "everyone" will see and learn. Be accountable to someone who will track your commitment to end that sin in your life.
- Before the Lord … commit your decision to the Lord who gives you strength.
God was pleased with Phinehas because he took initiative by atoning (appeasing) for the sin in behalf of the sons of Israel. God said, “Behold, I give him My covenant ... because he ... made atonement for the sons of Israel” (Numbers 25:12-13). He didn't wait for someone to do it, he didn't ask someone to do it, nor he didn't wait for someone to tell him to do it. And because of his initiative to execute God's righteousness in the camp, the plagued finally ended, but 24,000 unnecessary casualties had already occured.
Jesus himself tells us that if a brother or a sister sins, we must go and show him his fault in private so that he will realize his fault. Sometimes the truth hurts, but like a bitter medicine it needs to be ingested. Paul adds to this when he warns us that we must speak the truth "in love."
Phinehas ACTED upon his convictions
It's interesting that throughout the story we didn't hear a single word uttered by Phinehas. We only saw him as he moved about and execute God's judgment on the defiant couple. Verse 7-8, "he saw ... he arose from the congregation ... he took a spear ... he ran after the man ... he pierced both of them ..." He was a man of action. While others were weeping (v. 6), he acted and became the solution. He was someone you can depend on when the going got tough. Sometimes when faced with stubborn sin among our family, friends and even ourselves, we sheepishly and silently protest, "weeping" and mourning, instead of acting upon what we know in God's Word. God is looking for men to stand in the gap (Ez 22:23-30) who will "stop the plague" of sin from spreading and destroying the lives of those who harbor it and the people around them.
Finally, Phinehas was LOYAL to his God
Phinehas was God's number one fan. The bottom line is Phinehas loved God so much that whatever God loves, he loves, whatever God hates, he hates, no questions whatsoever. God was pleased with Phinehas because he was "jealous for My jealousy." Now isn't jealousy such a negative attitude for a good God to have? But the Bible is quite clear about it, our God is a jealous God. Webster defines jealousy as "lacking permissive attitude towards rivalry or unfaithfulness". So what is God jealous about? Let us read what He said when He handed out the 10 commandments to Moses:
Deuteronomy 5:8-10, “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
God is madly jealous for us when we set up idols. Now perhaps we already realize that idols are not just statues people pray to but objects or people who takes more priority in our life than God, whether it's money, fame, friends or boy/girlfriends. Do we have idols in our life that provoke our God to be madly jealous for You? The best way to keep ourselves from anything that takes us away from Him is to draw nearer and closer to God.
Phinehas was full of Z.E.A.L.:
- ZERO-TOLERANCE for sin
- EMERGE from the crowd
- ACT upon your convictions
- LOYAL to God
Jewish Filipino-Chinese
Finally after three mondays of class suspensions because of typhoon, holiday and school retreat, we've got to finally have class again in Hebrew. I missed the class. So this morning I went an hour early to school to do some review (although we usually have group study as early as 11AM). The difference what three cancelled meeting makes. It needed some effort to get back to speaking and understanding the language again. I remember this is the same effect it had on me after I graduated highschool. I almost forgot to speak, understand and write Chinese.
We usually don't speak Chinese at home, being a child of second-generation Filipino-Chinese. Sociologist say there are three orders of Filipino-Chinese in the Philippines: the nearly extinct First Generation (they are the one's who came from the mainland and marry a Filipino), second generation (the children of the first generation, who speaks Chinese at home, but speaks Filipino outside), and the third generation (who rarely speak Chinese anymore). They say 10 generations further, intermarriages among Filipinos and Chinese would've blend and neutralize each cultural uniqueness. That is why some elder Chinese try or force the younger to marry their own kind to preserve the culture and values, and even sometimes their economic status. And sadly this kind of mindset made its way in the church. A sad but true anecdote: A young Chinoy grows an interest with a Filipina, his mother is concerned. "We have different values," she tells me. Though I wouldn't approve also just because the girl goes to a "different" church. But the close-mindedness lies within the person themselves, situations vary, so I warn you not to stereotype people, because that's bad.
So let me end this day-in-a-life-turned-rant post by quoting Paul: "There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For [we] are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28).
We usually don't speak Chinese at home, being a child of second-generation Filipino-Chinese. Sociologist say there are three orders of Filipino-Chinese in the Philippines: the nearly extinct First Generation (they are the one's who came from the mainland and marry a Filipino), second generation (the children of the first generation, who speaks Chinese at home, but speaks Filipino outside), and the third generation (who rarely speak Chinese anymore). They say 10 generations further, intermarriages among Filipinos and Chinese would've blend and neutralize each cultural uniqueness. That is why some elder Chinese try or force the younger to marry their own kind to preserve the culture and values, and even sometimes their economic status. And sadly this kind of mindset made its way in the church. A sad but true anecdote: A young Chinoy grows an interest with a Filipina, his mother is concerned. "We have different values," she tells me. Though I wouldn't approve also just because the girl goes to a "different" church. But the close-mindedness lies within the person themselves, situations vary, so I warn you not to stereotype people, because that's bad.
So let me end this day-in-a-life-turned-rant post by quoting Paul: "There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For [we] are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28).
Back to Work
What am I doing 4AM in the morning? I'm back at work. I'm doing US outsource projects again. It's been almost 2 years (Nov '05) since I left the company where I worked. Now I'm back. Why? Well, many things. I have been struggling and praying for a go these past few weeks if I revive my flash artist profession. Ministry has been very fruitful and the need is huge. But I gotta take care of some things especially my family. My funds are running out and I'm lagging with my contributions in the house bills. Something that really convinced me to return was just this week, my mom, dad and I went to the hospital to get checked up. I had recurring flu which was getting worse everyday. My dad had this lump on his back that after diagnosis, the doctor declared it was an early stage of tumor. Now the doctor reassured us that it is not a serious thing, as long as it's removed ASAP before it becomes infected, but hearing those words really shook me up. I mean that was my dad. Anyway, he's going under operation today for the lump to be removed. Praying that everything's gonna be okay. But you get the picture. I need to work for my family.
Also this week, two of my friends back in college got engaged. Ganito pala kapag mid-20s na. You hear friends getting married one after another. And of course, I also have my own wedding to attend to ... in the near future, hehe. But yeah, I need to prepare for that.
So far so good.
+
PSALM 121
I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Also this week, two of my friends back in college got engaged. Ganito pala kapag mid-20s na. You hear friends getting married one after another. And of course, I also have my own wedding to attend to ... in the near future, hehe. But yeah, I need to prepare for that.
So far so good.
+
PSALM 121
I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Life in A Nutshell: House-cleaning
Here are some highlights of my day:
- Last week was the bummest day. Life halt--thanks to typhoon Egay--no ministry, no class, just stayed at home and watch movie marathons. Made me also to rest and restore lost strength.
- Had a meeting this morning with friends in youth ministry. It was a great time spending time with them again after a long time not having seen and talk to each other because of our own ministries. Received and was assigned to quite a challenging task which I realized God somehow prepared me that something like this is coming. Nevertheless I am excited and can't wait conquer new territories and challenges ahead. More details later.
- My Carecell spent some bonding time this afternoon. Haven't gone out with them these past few months. So it was a welcome relaxation. No meetings, we had it the previous day, so we could just enjoy and relax today. Went to Trinoma, Riverbanks and Tiendesitas. My carecell, also our youth core group, is the greatest and I am really proud having them as part of the team. I've seen them grow after all these years. Some God has called to ministry, others to excel in their studies and workplace. I've committed myself to personally invest my life, experiences and knowledge to them.
- I'm doing some house-cleaning in my spiritual life and ministry these days. Finally, after sometime idling around I got the push to pick up where I left off. I realized today the greatness of His compassion and lordship, how He sees a polished diamond through a rough stone. I can only stand amazed and in awe of Him.
This verse really helped me get up from that mud pile and shamelessly follow Him again:
"If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have dwelt in the abode of silence. If I should say, "My foot has slipped," Your lovingkindness, O Lord, will hold me up. When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul ... the Lord has been my stronghold and my God the rock of my refuge." ~ Psalm 94:17-19, 22
"If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have dwelt in the abode of silence. If I should say, "My foot has slipped," Your lovingkindness, O Lord, will hold me up. When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul ... the Lord has been my stronghold and my God the rock of my refuge." ~ Psalm 94:17-19, 22
But of course, no classes again!
News just announced that there will be no classes tomorrow. Since the rainy season came, our campus ministry has been greatly affected since we won't be able to meet the students in school. Kuya Kevin reminds us that being stuck amidst a sea of rainwater has its own benefits. Anyway, I like the rainy days also, its cold and chilly.
It's my brother's 21st birthday today.
It's my brother's 21st birthday today.
Kokey
Does anybody else think that Kokey, from ABS-CBN's primetime series of the same name, is the freakiest children's character ever? I wouldn't want him showing up in our kitchen or crawling under the tables. Quite scary...
"Do not remember the iniquities of our forefathers against us. Let your compassion come quickly to meet us for we are brought very low. Help us O God of our salvation for the glory of your name. And deliver us and forgive our sins for your name's sake." (Psalm 79:8-10)
"O Lord God of hosts, restore us. Cause your face to shine upon us and we will be saved." (Psalm 80:19)
"But I would feed you the finest wheat and with honey from the rock I would satisfy you." (Psalm 81:16)
"O Lord God of hosts, restore us. Cause your face to shine upon us and we will be saved." (Psalm 80:19)
"But I would feed you the finest wheat and with honey from the rock I would satisfy you." (Psalm 81:16)
I'm a kid with ADD
I got to get back on the habit on blogging. Not so much because I'm a busybody that I can't post new entries more frequently, but in fact it is total laziness, not in hitting the keys, but in processing the mind and sharing my thoughts. Just as I wrote in my last post, I'm in this state of hibernation. I was scanning this book Spirit-filled Temperament by Tim La Haye and it writes how a melancholy or choleric temperament (I'm not sure which one) incurs in himself great depression after experiencing great victory. Could this be true in my situation? It has happened a few times. But I am hesitant to accept this. "I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
On the other hand I think that I am in desperate need these kinds of valleys. I forget to ask myself what I always ask before. "Where is God in all of these? What is He teaching me?" I'm a kid suffering from ADD. And perhaps the only way He could put my right where He wants me to be--in His loving and healing presence is shutting the lights off--out from the sparkles and noise and finally emerge as who I really am--an ordinary guy before an extra-ordinary, great and loving Father. He snuffs those moth-drawing lights so that finally He could catch me and embrace his beloved son, the one who was lost but now is found. "I am the only One you need. My heart aches to finally get a chance to tell you that you are loved, accepted, with NOTHING TO PROVE; I rejoice over you, my child, with singing. I quiet you with my love. I'm not a God who drives a slave to hardwork, in fact my yoke is easy and my burden is light. I am your Father and you are my beloved son."
Let me be always reminded that I'm not Superman, but just a vessel--that is just ordinary, nothing special--without His heavenly treasures kept inside; just an ass, literally and figuratively--if not used for the Master's service. "Knowing me sucks unless you see Christ in me." Let Him increase and I decrease.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
On the other hand I think that I am in desperate need these kinds of valleys. I forget to ask myself what I always ask before. "Where is God in all of these? What is He teaching me?" I'm a kid suffering from ADD. And perhaps the only way He could put my right where He wants me to be--in His loving and healing presence is shutting the lights off--out from the sparkles and noise and finally emerge as who I really am--an ordinary guy before an extra-ordinary, great and loving Father. He snuffs those moth-drawing lights so that finally He could catch me and embrace his beloved son, the one who was lost but now is found. "I am the only One you need. My heart aches to finally get a chance to tell you that you are loved, accepted, with NOTHING TO PROVE; I rejoice over you, my child, with singing. I quiet you with my love. I'm not a God who drives a slave to hardwork, in fact my yoke is easy and my burden is light. I am your Father and you are my beloved son."
Let me be always reminded that I'm not Superman, but just a vessel--that is just ordinary, nothing special--without His heavenly treasures kept inside; just an ass, literally and figuratively--if not used for the Master's service. "Knowing me sucks unless you see Christ in me." Let Him increase and I decrease.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Life in A Nugget: APAW & Ice-cream
Haven't blogged for a while. Here are some things going on with me in the past few weeks:
- Last Saturday we had our section's Youth APAW (All-out Praise And Worship) at Word of Hope. It was a blast. Young people have come from different churches in section 2 to participate in the event. Our band led the first set of worship. There were times when our vocals are cut because of power failures but as our voices were cut we hear the voices of the youth sing and worship. Such a lovely sight!
- My ministry in campus have been off and on because of abrupt suspension of classes. Last Friday classes were suspended because they had a teachers meeting and today it's suspended again because of SK registrations. But I'm quite joyful for what's happening on our campus bible studies on other days because it's doing great. I find this sudden changes in routine disorienting because for the past few weeks I've been riding a roller-coaster ride. If you tried destroying an ant trail by rubbing your laway or something on the path to remove the scent trail... I'm one of those ants. To say the least the term "ang hirap ispelengin" fits me right now. I don't like the feeling. So guys please pray for me. but Praise God I'm recovering and praying that God will deliver me from burn-out.
- Yesterday coming from school I went to SM Manila and I saw a great find. A new ice-cream/cake stall called Scoop-a-cake. There cakes have ice-cream filling inside. And their ice-cream have bits of cake inside. So nice. I tried a Black Forest ice cream. For P30 it's a great find--one large scoop size larger than a tennis ball served on top of Belgian waffle cone. The ice cream was filled with chocolate cake bits, chocolate chips and cherries! I hope they would soon have an ice cream house. Anyway you have to try it, if you love ice cream. They are on the same floor as the cinema near Chowking and the escalators.
- Last night when I went home I discovered that my laptop had become an annex for a bunch of ants that have been trailing on the wall near my table. Grr. They were endlessly coming in and out of my USB socket and its annoying. They stopped now since I wiped it with computer cleanser.
Please include me in your prayers:
- Please pray for my whole well-being--physical, emotional and spiritual.
- Please pray for financial provision. I know He provides.
- Please pray for my ministry to the youth and campus.
Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest--I would flee far away and stay in the desert... I call to God and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice... Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall... As for me, I trust in [the Lord]. - David, Ps. 55
Color of the Day
Last Tuesday night I and Netty went out to dinner. I got out off class quite early so I got time to get a haircut. And when it was time to pick her up at the clinic, we were wearing the same color of shirt. Now, blue, black or something dark would be fine. It was not the first time we find ourselves wearing the same color of clothes on a date, we find ourselves wearing yellow one time. This time I was wearing baby pink and she was wearing brighter shade of pink! I know some people would perceive this as something cute. And I know a couple who took it as a 'sign' that they were meant for each other. It was funny and awkward at the same time when we got to the mall 'cause you would feel everyone's looking at you. I could imagine people thinking, "Of all the colors they would agree on wearing, pink pa." But nevertheless, after a while the consciousness wears off and we had a great time. We had Thai dinner and a regular stop at DQ. It was all good.
There are days when most people that you would meet and come across with are wearing the same color of shirt. It was like that yesterday. I took the train to Recto and there were a handful of people wearing the same color as mine--yellow!
There are days when most people that you would meet and come across with are wearing the same color of shirt. It was like that yesterday. I took the train to Recto and there were a handful of people wearing the same color as mine--yellow!
Last Saturday's UDM Event
Last Saturday we finally conducted the Spiritual Formation Seminar with the students of the College of Nursing in Universidad de Manila. Truly the Lord moved all throughout the program and even before it was very clear that He was at work as we prepared and interceded for this first major event of Firebrands UDM. Everything just fell into place. It was supposed to be held a week before with "everything in place." We've already invited a resource speaker and an American mission team will be doing an evangelistic presentation afterwards. But the Lord had other plans. So He delayed it for another week and with that delay we lost both guest speaker and team. That time I was quite curious what He's up His sleeves. I know it's always better because He's already seen it. So I just trusted and waited as time unfolded. Finally the go signal from the school arrives. We have seven days to prepare. Everyone's up in their feet, excited and expectant.
It's very true that when God is going to do something good. The enemy will try all his best to destroy the faith of His people. It was the seven days where we felt the hand of the enemy trying to discourage us and put us down. First day of the week one of our core leaders called to inform me that she got sore-eyes. Another had high-fever that she didn't go to work all week. Middle of the week the one with sore-eyes called to tell me that her two sisters also caught sore-eyes. These leaders have a major movement in UDM Carecells. And because of the weather, some of us also suffered from cough and flu. It was like a symphony of germs just decided to spring up together on us. Coincidence? I don't think so. During that time God led me to claim Luke 10:19--"I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy. Nothing will harm you"--and trusted by His promises and believed that when the time comes everything will be ready. Meeting one day before event, the weather was not on our side, and a fight breaks loose in the team. We realized what the enemy is trying to do. So we put our tasks aside and worshiped him and prayed as a team. After that the tension faded and we made declarations that charged up the whole team. (I learned doing declarations when I was in Jakarta where one person declares his vision in faith and everyone agrees with an all-out "amen!") Each one made their declarations that really came to pass the day after!
The next morning my brother and I were already at school 7:30AM. We had just had a few hours of sleep from last night. One by one the team arrives. Everyone present--all sickness healed. By 9AM the hall was packed with 250 nursing students from all year levels. Their classes for the whole day were preempted for this seminar. After a quick team prayer our emcees graced the event with an icebreaker. Chi-Alpha Team Recto led by Ptr. Sur, Ate Merla and Joan started the first seminar on "Maximizing Your Learning Power". By 12NN, Firebrands led the second seminar on "Discovering Your Purpose in Life." The students were very responsive and upbeat. By 2PM, we prepare to close with a one-hour evangelistic presentation, but suddenly the admin arrives to inform us that electricity needed to be shut down. It was a scheduled shut down uninformed to us. We pleaded that we be given more time because it was the "main event" of the event. But they only allowed us to wrap it up in 30 minutes. As I informed the team it brought much pressure and stress to us that some attitudes began to show and flare up. I know that God will not allow His Word to be hindered by that. So we just proceeded with an redrafted program praying that we will not be shut down just yet.
We had songs, skits and a testimony. By the end of the last human video "Tomorrow" most students were already ripe, some already in tears. I deliver the gospel challenge and finally when I asked if they would commit their life to Christ, one by one hands were raised in surrender. The place was holy ground. I stood in awe of how God moved in the hearts of the students. We prayed a prayer of acceptance and after that I challenged them to pursue knowing God through follow-up where they will be cared for and grow. We also gave out Book of Hope to each student. Among the 300 books that were prepared, only one was without a recipient.
The next day as we sort the evaluation form, more that 80% students have responded to our challenge to commit their lives to Christ (one of our declarations). Around 50% committed to Carecells. Some will be connected to existing Carecells and we will be birthing 6 new Carecells this week. We still have 49 students who committed on a Saturday Carecell, but we're already thinking of connecting them to a fellowship because each leader has their hands already full. Praise God for this harvest! Also during the event, we were visited by the university's vice president and the department head of the College of Physical Therapy who invited us to conduct the same event in their college ASAP! Praise God for all that He has done!
This week I meditated on Luke 10 where Jesus sends the 72. Jesus said, "The harvest is plenty but the laborers are few. Therefore pray to the Lord of the harvest will send out laborers to the harvest field..." Often times we think that our only obligation is just to pray that others will be called by God to the mission field. But few people continue on reading Jesus' next words, "Go! I AM sending YOU..." He is not asking you to pray for laborers to go, he's commanding you to go yourself. I remember a pastor said, "You are either a missionary or a mission field; a harvester or a harvest field." I rejoice that most of the Firebrands team has owned the vision of reaching young people for Christ and I marvel at how God rewards hearts that cry for his lost children with a bountiful harvest. So I challenge you to go ... now! Another faith milestone that testifies to God's faithfulness. Truly NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE with God.
Links
Prayer requests
- Please pray for the successful birth of the 6 new Carecells this week.
- Please pray for my strength spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally.
- Please pray for our leaders that they will continue to be passionate for young people and that God will strengthen each one to fulfill His work for each of us.
- Please pray for possibilities of starting our Youth Service.
Cruising the Fast Lane
Rainy days has finally started. I like it because I can cuddle into bed and put on a blanket and be covered all over because its chilly. Few people know that I'm "scared" of cold, just like a cat. Nowadays the warm and cold weathers are like tugging each other so people are getting sick. I myself am experiencing a little throat irritation...
Anyway, things have been fast-paced lately. School and ministry. School is great. I'm really enjoying this semester. Yesterday had a class with Dr. T, which finally I was able to come to his class after two consecutive absences--first was because of my Indonesia trip and second because of the flat tire! I am really blessed in his class. The way he teaches narrative is very engaging. He always tell us that he teaches differently that's why some people get weirdoed with him. But actually I really get his method. Did I tell you that Dr. T became a devoted student of George E. Ladd during his Fuller Seminary days? So I was telling a friend that we are grand-students of Ladd. Hehe. In my Hebrew 3 class, it's very cool to read Genesis in Hebrew. But learning new insights about the texts that we're reading pays off the most.
Finally I got to settle today at home. Wednesday is my new day-off. I just go for bible study in our Valenzuela church in the evening.
After much prayer and hope, our youth ministry finally got a major breakthrough in our Universidad de Manila outreach (whose name was reverted again to City College of Manila). On Saturday, we are going to conduct a Spiritual Formation seminar from 9-3PM. We'll be doing Maximizing Your Learning Power, Discovering Your Purpose in Life Seminar and an Inspirational Challenge (Extra challenge) at the end of the seminars. The dean of the nursing college who goes to ICS, Netty's church, have been supporting us since day one buy allowing us to conduct bible study in the campus so that we have much presence now in the campus. Netty herself have been a blessing to me when we minister to students there. We're currently doing three campus Carecells in UDM (Weds, 6PM; Fri, 3PM and Sat, 3PM) and praying that in these cellgroups leaders will be born and more Carecells will be formed.
Please pray with us that hearts will be turned and surrendered to our Lord during this event. Even now the enemy is trying to hinder our work by weighing some of our volunteers down with sicknesses and evil visitations. But as I pray and meditated on His Word, he reminds me of Luke 10:19, "I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you." Praise God for His mighty promises!
Anyway, things have been fast-paced lately. School and ministry. School is great. I'm really enjoying this semester. Yesterday had a class with Dr. T, which finally I was able to come to his class after two consecutive absences--first was because of my Indonesia trip and second because of the flat tire! I am really blessed in his class. The way he teaches narrative is very engaging. He always tell us that he teaches differently that's why some people get weirdoed with him. But actually I really get his method. Did I tell you that Dr. T became a devoted student of George E. Ladd during his Fuller Seminary days? So I was telling a friend that we are grand-students of Ladd. Hehe. In my Hebrew 3 class, it's very cool to read Genesis in Hebrew. But learning new insights about the texts that we're reading pays off the most.
Finally I got to settle today at home. Wednesday is my new day-off. I just go for bible study in our Valenzuela church in the evening.
After much prayer and hope, our youth ministry finally got a major breakthrough in our Universidad de Manila outreach (whose name was reverted again to City College of Manila). On Saturday, we are going to conduct a Spiritual Formation seminar from 9-3PM. We'll be doing Maximizing Your Learning Power, Discovering Your Purpose in Life Seminar and an Inspirational Challenge (Extra challenge) at the end of the seminars. The dean of the nursing college who goes to ICS, Netty's church, have been supporting us since day one buy allowing us to conduct bible study in the campus so that we have much presence now in the campus. Netty herself have been a blessing to me when we minister to students there. We're currently doing three campus Carecells in UDM (Weds, 6PM; Fri, 3PM and Sat, 3PM) and praying that in these cellgroups leaders will be born and more Carecells will be formed.
Please pray with us that hearts will be turned and surrendered to our Lord during this event. Even now the enemy is trying to hinder our work by weighing some of our volunteers down with sicknesses and evil visitations. But as I pray and meditated on His Word, he reminds me of Luke 10:19, "I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you." Praise God for His mighty promises!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)